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Stand Up For Zoraya

Monday

America's Fathering Crisis

Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2016
On MLK Day, I find myself reflecting on my father-in-law’s story. I am also reminded that Dr. King’s famous “I have a dream” speech was about being a father. It was about envisioning the future he wanted for his children, and then working to make that dream a reality.


“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character,” he said.

We can all learn something from Dr. King, Dr. Little, and Championship Fathers across the globe …

More important than a man’s circumstances—his race, his socioeconomic status, his custodial or marital situation—is the way in which he handles his circumstances and envisions the future.
English: Dr. Martin Luther King giving his &qu...
English: Dr. Martin Luther King giving his "I Have a Dream" speech during the March on Washington in Washington, D.C., on 28 August 1963. Español: Dr. Martin Luther King dando su discurso "Yo tengo un sueño" durante la Marcha sobre Washington por el trabajo y la libertad en Washington, D.C., 28 de agosto de 1963. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Do you model self-control? Do you remain calm and rational, even when others are becoming bitter … perhaps even violent? Can you hold your head high because you know you are acting like the dignified man you want your children to see?
English: Attorney General Kennedy and Rev. Dr....
English: Attorney General Kennedy and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 22 June 1963, Washington, D.C. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X meet bef...
Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X meet before a press conference. Both men had come to hear the Senate debate on the Civil Rights Act of 1964. This was the only time the two men ever met; their meeting lasted only one minute. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


The Stages of Family Court Dysfunction (FCD)

1. Belief - As consumers of judicial services we enter the court system with the idea that this country has the best judicial system in the world. That the professionals who operate within this system do so with neutrality and fairness.

2. Self Doubt and Puzzlement - As the divorce/ custody process gains momentum and hints of flaws with the process start to show we think these issues are the result of things we are doing. "It must be me" that this is happening. We become puzzled by the direction of the divorce/ custody. We realize that things are not going in a direction which makes sense. There is often a flip flop of common sense and values. Black becomes White and White becomes Black.

3. Reason and Disillusionment - We begin to try reasoning with the players. The Guardian ad litem, lawyers and court. Presenting evidence and facts because if they only just read or viewed they would understand what is going on. Disillusionment creeps in when we realize that no matter how much evidence and facts presented - the system is unwilling to listen and understand what your concerns are.

4. Anger - As the reality of the situation starts to settle in we become upset that 'justice' does not exist. That those whom we have invested with our trust are untrustworthy. A system which is supposed to protect our children is more concerned with our behavior and whether or not a Guardian ad litem, Special Master or Parent Coordinator will get paid. Our anger can be aimed at anything - our ex, the children, the family pet even the court system.

5. Settlement - Sadly we may never find settlement as the process can continue far into the future. There are parents who settle and do so for far less than what they should and are grateful for what they have. Then there are others who carry on the fight long after their divorce/ custody is over to that future divorcing families will not have to go through what they have experienced.
Dads' Rights and Family Court
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In vetoing family law bill, governor emphasizes child-custody sharing clause and putting needs of children first Thousands of people submitted comments on both sides of divorce reform…here’s one of our favorite comments R. Michael Brown originally shared to Guys With Kids (Important Discussion): Florida Gov. Rick Scott and supporters of vetoing the alimony bill presume that women are better parents than men – across the board. Ask the police, ask the jail/prison guards, and ask me – we’ve all witnesses and testified about unfit mothers that are on drugs; live by violence, dishonesty, and/or stealing; or plunk their kids in front of TV and video games 24 hours a day and the fathers are good men that don’t do any of the above – yet the men are denied at least 50% custody. The presumption that women are better at parenting just because of their gender in the year 2016 is delusional. Yeah – children first Governor Scott. The judges and family court system is so corrupt and don’t give a flip about what really goes on in a household so they can’t possible know what’s in the best interest of a child. The presumption should be that BOTH parents are capable for 50/50 custody and then the judge-family court system should have to PROVE which parent is not qualified or capable of 50% custody. READ THE ARTICLE HERE:http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/state-politics/article72042847.html
   
DESCRIPTION - Dedicated to the proposition that children are best served by having unfettered EQUAL access to BOTH parents and to the proposition that fathers are indispensable. Improve the lives of children and strengthen society by protecting the child’s right to the love and care of both parents after separation or divorce. We seek better lives for children through family court reform!! The Facebook Group is about the human rights of children with particular attention to the rights of special protection and care afforded to the young, including their right to association with both biological parents.... See More GROUP TYPE - Parents LINK -www.facebook.com/groups/ChildrensRightsFlorida/-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- Over the years I have been most inspired by the work of Omar and David Inguanzo from their group Children's Rights and would call o all like mined folk to join us and make the breakthrough 3000th member by this Easter! I am also honoured to be regarded as a cause leader within the group. NB I was delighted to be notified this week by David Inguanzo to say the 5000 mark had been reached by members, now lets make it 10,000 can you think of a more appropriate cause? ~http://world4justice.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/childrens-rights-3000/
   
1. Judges and Attorney's need mandatory education about personality disorders and a child's age appropriate developmental needs- particularly Antisocial and Narcissistic since these are the most damaging to children. 2. A Trial Court should be mandated to consider ALL statutory factors in weighing a child's best interests. 3. A Trial Court must place child welfare above parental rights. 4. The law should require that a judge must articulate how he weighed each factor in determining custody. This is not a Father's Rights Issue or a Mother's Rights issue: It is about Children's Rights! The Time is Now for Change! We need stronger legislation that protects the rights of our most precious and vulnerable resources: Our Children. Each year, countless children are sent into unsupervised visitation, or worse, with an abusive or personality disordered parent. The most tragic cases involve situations where the protective parent is demonized and custody is awarded to the offender. How do we know unequivocally that this happens? Each year, more and more children are coming forward to report about how the system has failed to protect them. The Courageous Kids Network and Children Against Court Appointed Abuse are but two of the groups that offers a voice to these victims. Some studies have estimated as many as 58,000 children each year suffer due to our broken family court system. In a recent Tn Appellate Court Decision, state Judges have ruled that a "trial court is not obligated to consider all of the (best interest) factors" when making an initial determination of child custody. They also went on to say that it is okay for the trial court to consider a parent's right to a relationship with the child as being more important than any other factor. This is true, even when there is irrefutable evidence of abuse and mental illness. Petition to legislators to enact bills that will protect our children. It is a call for disambiguation of the Law and Justice!https://www.causes.com/campaigns/36448-fight-for-childrens-rights-in-child-custody-litigation/description
   
Few social policies seem to do as much universal good as paid paternity leave: Study after study has shown that when a father plays an active role in a child’s early years, he or she will end up healthier, achieve greater academic success, and even make more money. Everybody wins. Unfortunately, our country’s paid family …http://fusion.net/story/315970/which-presidential-candidate-is-best-for-dads-thomas-perez/http://www.wochit.com When a couple with children are no longer together, the couple has to decide who will have the children during the holidays. There are some who may celebrate the holidays together in hopes of creating a peaceful holiday for the children. There are others who are not in a true co-parenting relationship. Removing the winner-gets-the-kids concept would also remove the incentive for parents to focus on each other’s faults, and to “dig up dirt” on each other. It may not be reasonable to expect divorcees to co-parent blissfully, without conflict, but getting off to a less acrimonious start, one that encourages cooperation rather than competition, would certainly seem to have a greater chance of serving the interests of children than the existing system has.
   
   
A child has the right to: • A continuing relationship with both parents. • Be treated not as a piece of property, but as a human being recognized to have unique feelings, ideas, and desires consistent with that of an individual. • Continuing care and proper guidance from each parent. • Not to be unduly influenced by either parent to view the other parent differently. • Express love, friendship, and respect for both parents: freedom from having to hide those stated emotions or made to be ashamed of such. • An explanation that the impending action of divorce was in no way caused by the child’s actions. • Not to be the subject and/or source of any and all arguments. • Continuing, honest feedback with respect to the divorce process and its impact on the changing relationships of the family. • Maintain regular contact with both parents and a clear explanation for any change in plans and/or cancellations. • Enjoy a pleasurable relationship with both parents, never to be employed as a manipulative bargaining tool. • The obligation of being a parent does not end after a divorce. It is extremely important to understand that the bond of marriage is completely different from that of parents. This is the most common down fall in today’s society, as a dissolution of marriage takes place so does that of parenting.
   
What Is The Definition Of Parentectomy Medical School Terminology Dictionary Visit our website for text version of this Definition and app download.http://www.medicaldictionaryapps.com - Subjects: medical terminology, medical dictionary, medical dictionary free download, medical terminology made easy, medical terminology song Gary Jacobs, Family Law Reformer from Smithtown Long Island New York with host Chris Dimaggio discussing parental alienation and family law reform.https://youtu.be/O6OX5tPh9cg?list=PLWOLv02trO-yA2jRdHBWZl0Sa-5nQl07t
   
An estimated 24.7 million children (33%) live absent their biological father. We asked Democratic and Republican Primary Candidates ~ How can you address the fatherlessness epidemic? ~ Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers. ~ 57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers. ~ According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America. ~ Among children who were part of the “post-war generation,” 87.7% grew up with two biological parents who were married to each other. ~ Today only 68.1% will spend their entire childhood in an intact family. With the increasing number of premarital births and a continuing high divorce rate, the proportion of children living with just one parent rose from 9.1% in 1960 to 20.7% in 2012. Currently, 55.1% of all black children, 31.1% of all Hispanic children, and 20.7% of all white children are living in single-parent homes. White children born in the 1950-1954 period spent only 8% of their childhood with just one parent; black children spent 22%. Of those born in 1980, by one estimate, white children can be expected to spend 31% of their childhood years with one parent, and black children 59%. You’ve heard about the crisis of fatherlessness and the negative consequences for children and for our society. Even if you are an involved dad, until we are successful, your children and grandchildren will be growing up in a culture of absent fathers and unfathered children. They will be affected! You can be a part of the solution!
   
   

The process one goes through is one of personal attitude change with exposure to more and more data. This data can come from many sources - from talking and sharing with others, the internet and those who have taken the issue publicly as well as personal experience. Some will try to fix this system with the hopes of repairing their own case; others do so as public spirited citizens, who hope to help others who are going through what they themselves have experienced. How one publicly markets both the human experience in need of fixing and the fixing itself is critical. It will require educating the public and politicians on what the issues are not only for your case but those of others. It took some time for you to understand that your case had problems. Imagine how others who have no experience with family court will respond? They will have a hard time understanding - some will get it. Many will not.

It is important to note that you are not alone and that others have experienced what you have gone through. There are many grassroots organizations that one can find offering support and help on a national as well as local level. It should be noted that out of 50 states there are very few instances of court officers who have been disciplined for malpractice.

If you have had issues with a court officer - Guardian ad litem, Special Master, Parental Coordinator or some other flavor of court appointed officer. We urge you to contact us at MeGALalert@gmail.com or find us on Facebook.
The BestInterestofChildren.org


Conclusions of the First International Conference on Shared Parenting   ---   Fathers.com
National Center for Fathering - fathers.comNational Center for Fathering - fathers.comThe National Center for Fathering (www.fathers.com) is a leading national nonprofit organization, with widely-implemented programming such as WATCH D.O.G.S. (Dads of Great Students), a one-of-a-kind school based father involvement program that works to support education and safety. NCF also offers innovative tools and resources that inspire and equip fathers to be more involved with their children to give each child a better future and to create a positive fathering legacy.

The Second Dream

I have a dream
that one day on the hills of any state
the sons and daughters of present fathers
And the sons and daughters of absent fathers
will be able to sit down together at the table with the whole family
I have a dream that all black children
will one day livein a nation
where they will not be fatherless
by a man who did not give a damn
but fathered by a man who loves them
with the strength and depth of God’s love.
Fathers who sacrifice for their children understand the value of their presence in their child’s life. They understand that whether present or absent good or bad they will make a permanent impact on the children.  And they choose to be a permanent positive impact.
The father must understand that he is more than a financial provider. The father helps to form his child’s identity. He helps the child in discovering his or her purpose in life. And has a starring role in supporting his children, mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually. He teaches; morally and spiritually guides, encourages, gives praise, hugs and kisses and says, “I love you just because you’re mine.”

A Call to Action

Let’s sacrifice for the dream that benefits our children. Let that dream be that each child in our communities has a father or father-figure who lovingly and actively engages in that child’s life. Let’s call on everyone from every sector of our community to make this dream a reality. It begins in our own homes with our own children. It ends in the homes of the children of the fatherless. It ends in the homes of the children who are fatherless. This is sacrificing for the Dream!

Let's celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today we honor his life's work to achieve equality for all.
Action Points for Dads on the Journey
  • Talk with a sibling or another childhood friend about your father’s influence and his character.
  • What historical or personal events have shaped who you are? Share those memories—and the way they changed you—with your children.
  • Challenge your child to take on a new level of leadership in one of his or her pursuits. (And be there to coach him along if he does.)
  • Dream with your kids. What will the world be like 50 years from now? What changes would benefit the most people?

Related Articles:

National Center for Fathering, reveals startling statistics about the difference that a father in the home makes in a child's life.


1. Shared parenting preserves children’s relationships with both parents2. Shared parenting preserves parents’...
Posted by Children's Rights on Thursday, August 13, 2015

Parents met in college in 1990 and dated for several years. Reunited in 2004. Daughter born 2006. Parents break-up in June 2008, normal boyfriend/girlfriend break up, and dad visits with daughter often until her birthday in October 2008. On daughter's birthday mom says to dad that since she (referring to herself) was only raised by her mother; saying these exact words to dad and in front of dad's son..."our daughter does not need a father".



CASE BEGINS WITH THIS 1ST HEARING

Honorable Judge Don S. Cohn’s Order of Dismissal Case No. 08-025399 – NO JUST CAUSE: Upon review, the evidence presented is insufficient under Florida Law (s. 741.30 or 784.046, FS) to allow the Court to issue an injunction for protection against domestic violence Ordered and Adjudged on October 27, 2008. Petitioner/Natural Father’s filed Response to Petition and Motion to Dissolve Temporary Injunction on October 27, 2008 attached.



Honorable Judge Cohn did not address time sharing for father and daughter leaving father in indeterminate state and fearful of further false allegations from mother. 


Natural Father's Lawyer, Beatrice Cera, files Petition for Paternity 12/4/08. Beatrice Cera, in an Emergency Hearing on 12/16/08,  obtains Order for  (1) Jurisdictional Restriction / Removal of Child from Miami-Dade County, FL. (2) DNA Test (paid by Father) from Honorable Judge Scott Bernstein.


12/18/08 7pm, Mother obtains Information Only Police Report at the Miami-Dade Police Town of Miami Lakes Station. Mother's Lawyer Colleen Huott, sends (via email) Father letter on 12/24/08 alleging a traffic/domestic violence incident on 12/17/08 at 5pm. Father contacts the Police 12/26/08 and discovers the (False) Police Report, asked Police why he wasn't contacted, asked Police why it wasn't "promptly  investigated, informs the Police that the Police Report is false, and files a police report against the "alleged" false Police Report.  

Learn about how Former Director Loftus and his Majors allowed a crime to happen causing severe injury to a Florida citizen and his daughter.http://iloveandneedmydaughter.blogspot.com/2013/08/upcoming-expose-on-south-floridas.html

Former Miami-Dade police chief has new gig — in Pittsburgh

Read more here:http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/08/25/3582114/former-miami-dade-police-chief.html#storylink=cpy
Read more

2/8/09 9am, Courtroom of Honorable Judge Maria Espinoza Dennis, Paternity Case Presiding Judge. Judge Orders Mom and Dad to Co-parenting, Orders Mom and Dad to Alienation Intervention, Orders Mom and Dad to Parenting Classes. Orders Dad to Psychological Evaluation.

2/18/09, Mother files for Injunction for Protection Against Domestic Violence...USING THE POLICE REPORT SHE OBTAINED ON 12/17/08 and Interferes (basically halts) Honorable Judge Dennis' Order as Family Court Services cannot coordinate Co-Parenting, Alienation Intervention, and Parenting Classes. However.the Father has complied with all of the Court's Orders in order to reach the goal of normal and reasonable Time sharing as PROMISED by the Honorable Judge Maria Espinoza Dennis on February 9, 2010 the second day of the Trial. Judge Dennis recused herself from this case on May 5, 2011.

Simple Paternity Case!!!  Over 500 docket entries. My Daughter is innocent bystander that loves and wants to be with dad. Ask any one in the Lawson E. Thomas Courthouse that have seen us together.
The Case (pain) goes on.....

IT'S BEEN  6 Y E A R S  ......................... #StandupforZoraya



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Recent Advances in Understanding Parental Alienation

Implications of Parental Alienation Research for Family-Based Intervention

What Exactly Is 'The Best Interest of the Child?', Part 2

The Metaphysical Needs of Children After Parental Divorce

What Exactly Is “The Best Interest of the Child”?

The Essential Needs of Children After Parental Divorce

How Do We Tell the Kids About the Divorce?

Guidelines for talking with children about parental separation

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing
    Putting Children First and Minimizing Conflict
    Post by Children's Rights . The Honorable Lawson E Thomas ( 1898-1989 ) Lawson E. Thomas was an outstanding civil rights...http://iloveandneedmydaughter.blogspot.com/2012/03/putting-children-first-minimizing.html

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  2. Here at NCF, our staff is busy getting ready to honor dads (and their essay-writing kids) as part of our Father of the Year Contests. As I said last week, I’ve been impressed by the wisdom these guys show.

    One point that they often mention has really stuck with me, and it might seem obvious, but I want to point it out and affirm you for it today. This is one big benefit you provide for your children.

    What am I talking about? I’m not sure there’s one word that captures it all, but these should get you in the right neighborhood: security, stability, belonging, acceptance, and so on.

    When we ask these dads about what’s important in their fathering, they say things like:

    “Providing a safe, supportive, nurturing environment.”

    “Giving my kids a place where they know they’ll be loved and accepted, no matter what.”

    “Someone who will always be there for them, whom they can come to and talk about anything, any time.”

    I think it’s a good reminder for all of us. I need to live every day with the awareness that my son, my grandkids, and even my adult kids and their spouses look to me for that stability.

    I try to recall the verse from Isaiah chapter 26 that my dad used to often quote: “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee.” Being that stable, calm presence at home begins with fixing our minds on the Lord, because He's the One who gives perfect peace.

    This week’s blog has more examples, encouragement and some practical Action Points for you.

    Are you a calm, consistent presence for your children? What’s your secret to keeping your poise? Help other dads by leaving a comment either at the blog or on our Facebook page.

    Keep up the good work, dad.

    Carey Casey
    http://Fathers.com

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