Fathers should be present at birth.

In a world where absent fathers have become somewhat of a norm. Debrah Lewis provides viewers with some very insightful comments into why fathers might be absent throughout the life of their children. In this talk she outlines the role of the father in the childbirth process and the shortcomings of a system that does not offer fathers with opportunities to be fully engaged parents from birth to adulthood. We ask fathers to be involved in the life of their child, but deny them the right to be at the starting line, the birth. This talk asks to rethink the role of masculinity in the childbirth experience. 

Debrah Lewis is the first Vice President of the International Confederation of Midwives from the Caribbean. After receiving an MSc in Nurse-Midwifery from Columbia University in 1986, she worked in New York as a public and private practice midwife and also volunteered in Africa. Lewis' leadership led to the formation of the Caribbean Regional Midwifery Association and the Trinidad and Tobago Association of Midwives. She is passionate about strengthening the network of midwives in the Caribbean and ultimately, the world.

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Don't you lose hope, your daddy is here!

The poem below was sent by ACFC member and supporter Mike H. In it he captures the essence of lost Christmas' many men experience but ends in a way that exudes the attitude of a father determined to overcome the challenge of being separated from his children. Together, with the same attitude we will overcome this system that pits family member against family member.

Three Dark Christmases

The first and the darkest painful Yule Tide
Came after a year of chasing my bride

Her anger as cold as the winter snow
Was buried so deep, how could a man know?

With hope I had ventured across the land
Hoping in Heaven to still hold her hand
I was ignorant of her hateful plan

To steal from me children, loves of my life
Who would suspect that from his lovely wife?

We were celebrating Christmas that day
And because I was no longer away

My goal to make that Christmas so lovely
But that painful day I would have spared you

The pain you would feel when mommy would say... I hate you! Get out! While nearby you played

How shocking it was on that hateful morn
To learn that mommy viewed daddy with scorn

Stunned I was also, my child and my joy
To hear words of hate come out of your mom

Your mother, my lover, my friend and wife

Gave me no warning of this change in life

"Get out" I did, twas the last time I saw
You, or spoke to you for many weeks more

We met the next week on a frigid night
I can recall the thought, can I save this?

Perhaps I might remind her of fam-ly
Of children and of happier times when

Our love was stronger. I thought I'd prevail
I'm sorry my child, my love, but I failed

I asked her for reasons that fateful night
The answer she gave me was quite a slight

"You're not good enough for me" said my wife
The worst seven words I’ve heard in my life

Shocked, I went through the daily motions of

Routine, hoping I'd wake from this bad dream

Thinking the worst part was over for me
Soon did I learn that I was not quite right

When six weeks had passed since that Christmas night

Being apart from the loves of my life

The weeks turned to months that we were apart
And I almost did succumb to my heart

Until one day I finally “got it.”
I am a father, and fathers don't quit.

Back home to my fam-ly is where I went
Feeling a failure to my Heaven-sent

I went back to regroup, and back to heal
I went back to learn of strength unrevealed

Strength that was born of a weakness profound

Broken and humbled, 'twas self love I found

To learn that to love you, I first must love Me.
Because a daddy who hates himself
Cannot a good daddy be

I attacked with a passion flaws I had
Because nothing is better than being "Dad"

During these dark months, often I would say:
“Know I will always love you and be near
I will never give up, my child, don't fear”

Well, another dark Christmas came last year
I spent all I had to bring Yuletide Cheer

No way! Not a chance! Is what she did say
These children are mine! You just go away!

Just a short visit, I begged and I pled.
But she slammed the door and wished I were dead

I learned that tears can freeze, that Christmas day
A message from God to strengthen my heart
For His children need a daddy who's smart

Into the snow I went pondering this
Onto the motel I brought all your gifts
Thinking of ways for your spirits to lift

A visit we had, and love we did share
It wasn't on Christmas, and though not fair

Was happy to see you. I didn't care
How much you had grown! Your feet and your hair!

Telling you Daddy would always be there
And noticing that now you might not care

Stuffing this fear because I know what's right
A child needs a daddy on Christmas night
Well, Daddy is here, loves; this is not right

I gave you my love, hon, in that short time
That time they allowed, so short twas a crime
There's never been danger from me, my love

Never did I harm my purpose for life
No, we're both victims of a bitter wife

Sure, mistakes I have made during my life
But nothing that merits this bitter strife

Frozen tears I pondered on my way home
And the lessons you'll miss before you're grown

If this dad gave up on this fight of fights
I will not. I cannot. This just ain't right

So a team I did hire to help me win
This unfortunate battle that's a sin

And money they did charge, hand over fist
It was payment toward our big Christmas list

But when Christmas season was 'round the bend
I realized no money I had to spend

To pay for more promises unfulfilled
And support the local lawyers guild

So I parted ways with my lawyers then
And approached the third Christmas, now darkened

But have heart in this story my children
This is where good things will really begin

Know that your daddy has a plan for you
Because frankly, there's nothing I won't do

As I write this on Christmas the third so far
Please know my darlings that daddy's going to war

No more tears will I shed for the time that we've lost
No more lamenting the exorbitant cost

Of fighting to see you so little it hurts
No more will I let lawyers make things worse

No, they've woken a tiger whose efforts won't wain
They've taunted a father whose children are in pain
It's time that this daddy dealt some of the same

So don't you despair this Christmas my loves
Send those scary thoughts to God up above

He loves you like me, and knows what you need
Ask him to bless Daddy with strength and speed

Your heavenly father will never fail
I know cuz he's carried me through this tale

See he's my Father, too, and he loves me
A perfect example of fathering

He has a big plan, and it involves us
Being together for our next Christmas

Having this knowledge, this passion, this love
Has caused your daddy to take off the gloves

Within legal bounds I will focus my strikes
Just anger will focus my thoughts at night

Bad things come in threes, they always do say
So we're about due for a lovely day

So don't you lose hope, your daddy is here
There's no reason for sadness, or of fear

Your father, he loves you. He'll make this right
Let's see if these bastards know how to fight

Parental Alienation Should Be Punishable By Criminal Law!

What Loving Fathers Do For Their Children

Okay, so you’re the Dad. That means you want to be Mr. Generous, and you want to make sure your children have everything. Good for you.

But the best we can do for our children has very little to do with passing over the keys to a new car, hooking Jr. up with that fly pair of $200 sneakers, or making sure your offspring attend the finest schools. What loving fathers “do” is to provide a framework in which kids can grow up to be the very best young people they can possibly be.

Our opportunity, as loving All Pro Dads, is to craft the kind of environment where such growth is possible. There’s a lot we can do – and the following “10 Things loving fathers do for their children” are a great place to start:

1. Loving fathers… love their children’s mother: This is huge – possibly the most beneficial intervention dads can do on behalf of their children. Love your wife without reservation - you can’t do much more for your kids than that.
2. Love them unconditionally: Make sure that your children know you love them “no matter what.” Don’t confuse this with permissiveness - unconditional love does nothing to encourage the wrong kind of behavior. In fact, kids who are secure in their father’s love tend to act out less, not more.
3. Grow up: We’re talking about the dads here, not the kids! Children don’t want another buddy - they want a dad. They want someone who thinks things through, makes tough decisions and engages life with responsibility – someone they can count on.
4. Be there: “Quality time” is all well and good… but it has nothing on quantity time. Make the time. Everyone has the same 24 hours available. Make yours count.
5. Provide: Just do it.
   - A stable home
   - Love and affection
   - Material needs
   - Presence
6. Discipline: Children appreciate an even hand, balance, accountability and love-drenched discipline. It’s called consistency, and without clearly defined boundaries, it is very difficult to grow up.
7. Value education: Don’t just read to them – read with them. Don’t just fuss about grades – get involved with their homework. Don’t just talk about learning – be a hands-on advocate
8. Raise them to leave: The simple goal of being a family, of parenting our children, doesn’t look any more complicated than this: raise them well equipped to leave home and to establish faithful lives.
9. Teach them to take responsibility: Kids who learn how to duck responsibility and avoid cost will – sooner or later – fall flat on their faces. Loving fathers make sure their children know how to own up, clean up, and move forward.
10. Teach them to love this life: The best predictor of happiness in children is happiness in their parents. If we learn how to love this life, and then give that blessing to our kids, then they will be well prepared for satisfaction
    
    
    

Redefining Modern Fatherhood 2015

These dads who blog are helping redefine modern #fatherhood: http://t.co/BOUAjuFyRn via @nprnews CC: @dad2summit
— MenCare Campaign (@MenCareGlobal) December 22, 2014

Post by Daddy Builders Network.

Congratulations to you! You are an AMAZING father! I'm honored to know and follow your journey. You're a strong individual that will never give up on his baby girl! That makes you an extremely honorable person! Your daughter will be very proud to have a father who loves and cares for her so. God bless you, I'll continue to pray for you and your daughter.

Stand Up For Zoraya

Shared publicly  

 Corrupt CT originally shared to Children's Rights (Discussion):

If people would take a moment to read about what is being done to our innocent children, being ripped away from parents that love them. I give you a lot of credit for never giving up on ZORAYA

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David Inguanzo

Family Law Reform

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Women for Fathers Rights originally shared:

Steps of the Appeal Process in a Divorce Court Case

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Marie Ortiz

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What it means to be a dad under different Florida statutes.

The Florida Bar

Journal

December, 2010 Volume 84, No. 10

Fatherhood in Florida

by Judge Sue Robbins

Page 24

Florida courts have been firm in asserting that a child has only one father, and that paternal rights and responsibilities cannot be spread or shared between two or more individuals.¹ However, the reality of the law is somewhat more complex. A man may be a presumptive father, a putative father, a prospective father, or an unmarried biological father, and yet have no rights other than notice of proceedings with respect to the child. If the child is born to a woman who is married to someone other than the man in question, he may be entitled to even less.² Paternity has been distinguished from legitimacy so that the rights and duties of fatherhood can sometimes be shared, or transferred from one man to another, without disturbing the child’s legitimate status.³ A man may be proven to be the biological father of the child, but not be recognized to have any parental rights.⁴ Parents may stipulate in a dissolution of marriage case that the husband is not the father of the wife’s then unborn child. Thereafter, the father may be required to be joined as a party in a termination of parental rights case because his rights continue.⁵

An attack against your human rights, your rights as a parent and your ability to parent a child. Hello Male Parents!

Comment posted on our Google+ Community:

Hello Male Parents,

I wish you well and hope you know that your not at all alone.

Life can give us skills whether we want them or not. In time, every father facing custody and court cases involving family law will develop a 'thicker skin' as we all know that nothing is more personal then an attack against your human rights, your rights as a parent and your ability to parent a child.

I would like to express a very important concept today.

This is extremely bold and progressive. I believe their is no 'movements' in the world today to change the opinion of culture in the way that will actually build up momentum.

I would like to give you an example*, Equality for homosexual relationships in the USA have become popular.*The example is not aimed to defame or harm homosexual couples in any way, simply a random example.

Single Male parents seeking Equality in Custody and Family law is NOT.

Who do you believe will be the first to win Public approval in the equality of raising children?

A large portion of Society will back gay rights to have two males or two females raise a child... Will Society recognize the human rights of a Male parent to have ABSOLUTE EQUALITY in custody decisions or family court?

The reason behind this is because Gay rights do not threaten the power of women as much as the concept of  ' MAN VS WOMAN '

No words exist to adequately describe what a father goes through when he gets divorced

A Committed, Divorced Father Story

No words exist to adequately describe what a father goes through when he gets divorced. He loses a wife who he had intended to spend the rest of his life with. He also usually loses his legacy by being removed from his own children. But he doesn’t have to and neither do you. You can do as much as you can given your limitations. Do your best to remain cordial with your ex and don’t talk about her negatively to your kids. This way you’ll gain greater access to your children. You may be able to call every night and read them a bedtime story. You can go to parent-teacher conferences. You can send cards to them and bring back souvenirs from trips you go on. You can attend their sporting events and ballet recitals. Whatever it is, your kids need you involved. You didn’t get a divorce from them. You’re their father. Forever. [Tweet This]

Here is one divorced dad’s story of all he had to overcome to be an All Pro Dad to his kids:

I am the father of seven wonderful children, four from a previous marriage (three boys and one girl) and three boys from my present marriage. During my first marriage, I would wrestle with thoughts of falling short as a father and going through a divorce only amplified those feelings. I cried myself to sleep many nights, and after dropping off the older children at their mother’s house after my times of visitation, I would not be able to go straight home and face the pain of no children to greet me.

I can understand why some non-custodial fathers move away from their children–not because they do not love their children but because of the pain and the emotional roller coaster they go through. It is their way of dealing with their pain or should I say their way of not dealing with it. I do not agree with this action, but I can understand their motivation.

In order to stay close to my children and remain involved in their lives, I turned down several promotional opportunities with my employer that would have moved me away from my children. After buying a home in the same school district as my older children and attempting to gain joint custody of my older children, my ex-wife moved to a small town 45 minutes away. At the time of this move, my older children were ages 7 – 13. Even though it was not that far away, it prevented joint custody from becoming possible and made it more difficult to see my children as often especially their school activities.

Six years later, my ex-wife moved seven hours away with the two youngest of the older children who were ages 13 and 12. (I live in Iowa and they moved to Indiana.) My oldest son had graduated from high school and the next oldest son lived with his best friend to finish his senior year. I was then only able to see my two children in Indiana one weekend a month, and due to the children’s school schedules, there were some months where I do not get to see them at all–unless I drove to Indiana and rented a hotel room for the weekend. I have missed out on their first dates, seeing them dress up as they go to events, such as Homecoming and Prom, and seeing them compete in athletic events. Not only has it made it difficult for me to maintain a relationship with my older children, but my three little boys sure miss their older siblings. (I have kept in contact via phone calls and emails, driving to Indiana a few times a year to watch them compete in a few track and cross country meets, and my regular scheduled visitations.)

Through all of this, my older children have turned out wonderfully. My oldest son joined the military immediately following 9-11, and saw combat with the 101st Airborne in both Afghanistan and Iraq before he received an honorable medical discharge for a non-combat injury in Iraq . He is now married and pursuing a degree in criminal justice. My second oldest son has lived with me for the past 3+ years while going to college, and our relationship has grown.  My third oldest son graduated from high school last year with honors, is currently going through training to be an Army Ranger, and is planning on pursuing a medical degree after leaving the Army. My only daughter is in her junior year of high school, on the honor roll, and at this time, is planning on becoming a pediatrician. 

They all love the Lord.My two children who moved to Indiana have told me more than once that they have friends who have divorced parents and hardly, if ever, see their fathers who live close by. They are amazed when my children tell them that I drive to Indiana to see them. Even though I have not been able to see my older children as frequently as I would like, my children and I are thankful for the relationship that we do have.

While divorce is difficult, I want to encourage others that you can remain close to your children if you commit to the time that it takes.

Related Resource:  12 Ways to of a Hands-On Parent

5 Ways to Use Technology to Bond with Your Children

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We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.

Post by Pro Se Litigation.