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Showing posts with label Father. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Father. Show all posts

Thursday, December 11, 2025

A Father’s Struggle for Justice and Shared Parenting

A Father’s Struggle for Justice and Shared Parenting

In June 2004, my son’s mother and I divorced after knowing each other since 1992. Later that year, I reconnected with my daughter’s mother, whom I had first met in 1990. We reunited in November 2004, began living together in January 2005, and welcomed our daughter in 2006.

We became engaged in Paris in October 2007, but by June 2008 our relationship ended. I moved out and focused on my career, my son, and family responsibilities. As a District Sales Manager for a multinational company, I traveled internationally during the week, leaving weekends as my only time with my children. Despite the breakup, my daughter’s mother and I remained friends, and I continued to share time with my daughter until her second birthday in October 2008.

That day, after celebrating together as a family, her mother told me: “Since she didn’t need her father, Zoraya doesn’t need you.” From that moment, she began denying me access to my daughter.

Court Battles Begin

In October 2008, I was served with a Temporary Restraining Order. At the hearing, both of us admitted to Judge Don S. Cohn that there had never been any acts of domestic violence. The petition was dismissed for “No Just Cause.” Yet, the court failed to address how I would continue seeing my daughter, leaving me in limbo.

Determined to secure my parental rights, I filed a paternity suit in December 2008, requesting child support, shared parental responsibility, and reasonable time-sharing. Despite this, my daughter’s mother continued filing restraining orders, supported by fabricated police reports and false allegations.

Judicial Missteps and Alienation

In February 2009, Judge Dennis ordered both parents to attend Family Court Services for co-parenting and alienation intervention. Days later, another restraining order was filed against me. Despite evidence and witnesses proving the allegations false, Judge Brennan imposed a one-year “No Contact” order.

This decision devastated me. I lost my job due to the excessive court orders and the impossibility of balancing compliance with my professional responsibilities. More importantly, I lost precious time with my daughter.

A Fit Parent, Denied Normal Parenting

After years of hearings, supervised visitation, and thousands of dollars in legal fees, the Final Judgment in July 2010 confirmed that I am a fit parent. It granted shared parental responsibility and child support obligations. However, “normal and reasonable” time-sharing was conditioned on compliance with every court-ordered program, despite no evidence that I was ever a danger to my child.

Meanwhile, my relationship with my son remained strong and uninterrupted, proving that I am a loving, responsible father.

The Larger Issue: Parental Alienation

My case highlights a broader problem: parental alienation and the misuse of restraining orders to sever a child’s relationship with one parent. Despite compliance with every order, I continue to face barriers to being part of my daughter’s life.

This is not just my story — it is the story of countless fathers and mothers who are unfairly denied meaningful contact with their children. Family courts must recognize that shared parenting is not only fair but essential for the well-being of children.

Persistence in the Face of Opposition

The opposing party has complained to the Court that I filed three petitions: the initial paternity suit and two follow-up petitions for modification. That is correct — and so what? It is my right to file petitions when there are substantial changes, and there have been.

The Court and the opposing party should know by now that I will never give up on my daughter. I will file as many petitions as necessary to ensure she has a normal relationship with her father. Instead of criticizing me, they should reflect on their reckless disregard for the harm they have caused Zoraya and me.

A Family Court Services Report dated January 29, 2013, regarding 12 supervised visits, stated:

“After greeting, Mr. Inguanzo immediately engaged Zoraya in conversation and play. Father and daughter discussed different topics such as school, science, books, a trip to France, physical education, Zoraya’s older brother, and other relatives, holidays, etc. Mr. Inguanzo also practiced speaking Spanish with Zoraya. Mr. Inguanzo frequently demonstrated physical affection, to which Zoraya allowed and reciprocated. Mr. Inguanzo displayed behaviors indicative of being nurturing, patient, and attentive to Zoraya’s needs. Zoraya appeared to enjoy her father’s company. Zoraya and her father displayed a very good level of interaction.”

This report, authored by Ms. Laura Escober, L.C.S.W., with observations from Ms. Maria Puentes, M.S.W., and Mr. Rafael Castro, Ph.D., confirms the bond between father and daughter. Yet, I have not seen or spoken with Zoraya since January 24, 2015.

This is how the system has failed my daughter. It is why this blog was born — to expose the injustice and to fight for the day when the Court finally recognizes the opposing party’s intentional interference and restores my rightful place in Zoraya’s life.

A Call for Reform

Much of what I have enjoyed most in life is being threatened by governmental actions that fail to protect our God-given rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Those entrusted to safeguard families are, in many cases, doing the opposite.

It is time to stand up against parental alienation and demand fairer family laws. Children deserve relationships with both parents, free from manipulation and false allegations. Judges and lawyers may come and go, but parents remain constant in their children’s lives.

I continue to fight for justice in my case (Case No. 2008-029595, 11th Judicial Circuit, Miami-Dade County, Florida). My daughter deserves to know her father, and I will never stop being there for her.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Fathers should be present at birth.



In a world where absent fathers have become somewhat of a norm. Debrah Lewis provides viewers with some very insightful comments into why fathers might be absent throughout the life of their children. In this talk she outlines the role of the
father in the childbirth process and the shortcomings of a system that does not offer fathers with opportunities to be fully engaged parents from birth to adulthood. We ask fathers to be involved in the life of their child, but deny them the right to be at the starting line, the birth. This talk asks to rethink the role of masculinity in the childbirth experience. 


Debrah Lewis is the first Vice President of the International Confederation of Midwives from the Caribbean. After receiving an MSc in Nurse-Midwifery from Columbia University in 1986, she worked in New York as a public and private practice midwife and also volunteered in Africa. Lewis' leadership led to the formation of the Caribbean Regional Midwifery Association and the Trinidad and Tobago Association of Midwives. She is passionate about strengthening the network of midwives in the Caribbean and ultimately, the world.

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Don't you lose hope, your daddy is here!



The poem below was sent by ACFC member and supporter Mike H. In it he captures the essence of lost Christmas' many men experience but ends in a way that exudes the attitude of a father determined to overcome the challenge of being separated from his children. Together, with the same attitude we will overcome this system that pits family member against family member.

Three Dark Christmases

The first and the darkest painful Yule Tide
Came after a year of chasing my bride

Her anger as cold as the winter snow
Was buried so deep, how could a man know?

With hope I had ventured across the land
Hoping in Heaven to still hold her hand
I was ignorant of her hateful plan

To steal from me children, loves of my life
Who would suspect that from his lovely wife?

We were celebrating Christmas that day
And because I was no longer away

My goal to make that Christmas so lovely
But that painful day I would have spared you

The pain you would feel when mommy would say... I hate you! Get out! While nearby you played

How shocking it was on that hateful morn
To learn that mommy viewed daddy with scorn

Stunned I was also, my child and my joy
To hear words of hate come out of your mom

Your mother, my lover, my friend and wife
Gave me no warning of this change in life

"Get out" I did, twas the last time I saw
You, or spoke to you for many weeks more

We met the next week on a frigid night
I can recall the thought, can I save this?

Perhaps I might remind her of fam-ly
Of children and of happier times when

Our love was stronger. I thought I'd prevail
I'm sorry my child, my love, but I failed

I asked her for reasons that fateful night
The answer she gave me was quite a slight

"You're not good enough for me" said my wife
The worst seven words I’ve heard in my life

Shocked, I went through the daily motions of
Routine, hoping I'd wake from this bad dream

Thinking the worst part was over for me
Soon did I learn that I was not quite right

When six weeks had passed since that Christmas night
Being apart from the loves of my life

The weeks turned to months that we were apart
And I almost did succumb to my heart
Until one day I finally “got it.”
I am a father, and fathers don't quit.
Back home to my fam-ly is where I went
Feeling a failure to my Heaven-sent
I went back to regroup, and back to heal
I went back to learn of strength unrevealed
Strength that was born of a weakness profound
Broken and humbled, 'twas self love I found
To learn that to love you, I first must love Me.
Because a daddy who hates himself
Cannot a good daddy be
I attacked with a passion flaws I had
Because nothing is better than being "Dad"
During these dark months, often I would say:
“Know I will always love you and be near
I will never give up, my child, don't fear”
Well, another dark Christmas came last year
I spent all I had to bring Yuletide Cheer
No way! Not a chance! Is what she did say
These children are mine! You just go away!
Just a short visit, I begged and I pled.
But she slammed the door and wished I were dead
I learned that tears can freeze, that Christmas day
A message from God to strengthen my heart
For His children need a daddy who's smart
Into the snow I went pondering this
Onto the motel I brought all your gifts
Thinking of ways for your spirits to lift
A visit we had, and love we did share
It wasn't on Christmas, and though not fair
Was happy to see you. I didn't care
How much you had grown! Your feet and your hair!
Telling you Daddy would always be there
And noticing that now you might not care
Stuffing this fear because I know what's right
A child needs a daddy on Christmas night
Well, Daddy is here, loves; this is not right
I gave you my love, hon, in that short time
That time they allowed, so short twas a crime
There's never been danger from me, my love
Never did I harm my purpose for life
No, we're both victims of a bitter wife
Sure, mistakes I have made during my life
But nothing that merits this bitter strife
Frozen tears I pondered on my way home
And the lessons you'll miss before you're grown
If this dad gave up on this fight of fights
I will not. I cannot. This just ain't right
So a team I did hire to help me win
This unfortunate battle that's a sin
And money they did charge, hand over fist
It was payment toward our big Christmas list
But when Christmas season was 'round the bend
I realized no money I had to spend
To pay for more promises unfulfilled
And support the local lawyers guild
So I parted ways with my lawyers then
And approached the third Christmas, now darkened
But have heart in this story my children
This is where good things will really begin
Know that your daddy has a plan for you
Because frankly, there's nothing I won't do
As I write this on Christmas the third so far
Please know my darlings that daddy's going to war
No more tears will I shed for the time that we've lost
No more lamenting the exorbitant cost
Of fighting to see you so little it hurts
No more will I let lawyers make things worse
No, they've woken a tiger whose efforts won't wain
They've taunted a father whose children are in pain
It's time that this daddy dealt some of the same
So don't you despair this Christmas my loves
Send those scary thoughts to God up above
He loves you like me, and knows what you need
Ask him to bless Daddy with strength and speed
Your heavenly father will never fail
I know cuz he's carried me through this tale
See he's my Father, too, and he loves me
A perfect example of fathering
He has a big plan, and it involves us
Being together for our next Christmas
Having this knowledge, this passion, this love
Has caused your daddy to take off the gloves
Within legal bounds I will focus my strikes
Just anger will focus my thoughts at night
Bad things come in threes, they always do say
So we're about due for a lovely day
So don't you lose hope, your daddy is here
There's no reason for sadness, or of fear
Your father, he loves you. He'll make this right
Let's see if these bastards know how to fight

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Parental Alienation Should Be Punishable By Criminal Law!


Okay, so you’re the Dad. That means you want to be Mr. Generous, and you want to make sure your children have everything. Good for you.


But the best we can do for our children has very little to do with passing over the keys to a new car, hooking Jr. up with that fly pair of $200 sneakers, or making sure your offspring attend the finest schools. What loving fathers “do” is to provide a framework in which kids can grow up to be the very best young people they can possibly be.

Our opportunity, as loving All Pro Dads, is to craft the kind of environment where such growth is possible. There’s a lot we can do – and the following “10 Things loving fathers do for their children” are a great place to start:

  1. Loving fathers… love their children’s mother: This is huge – possibly the most beneficial intervention dads can do on behalf of their children. Love your wife without reservation - you can’t do much more for your kids than that.
  2. Love them unconditionally: Make sure that your children know you love them “no matter what.” Don’t confuse this with permissiveness - unconditional love does nothing to encourage the wrong kind of behavior. In fact, kids who are secure in their father’s love tend to act out less, not more.
  3. Grow up: We’re talking about the dads here, not the kids! Children don’t want another buddy - they want a dad. They want someone who thinks things through, makes tough decisions and engages life with responsibility – someone they can count on.
  4. Be there: “Quality time” is all well and good… but it has nothing on quantity time. Make the time. Everyone has the same 24 hours available. Make yours count.
  5. Provide: Just do it.
    - A stable home
    - Love and affection
    - Material needs
    - Presence
  6. Discipline: Children appreciate an even hand, balance, accountability and love-drenched discipline. It’s called consistency, and without clearly defined boundaries, it is very difficult to grow up.
  7. Value education: Don’t just read to them – read with them. Don’t just fuss about grades – get involved with their homework. Don’t just talk about learning – be a hands-on advocate
  8. Raise them to leave: The simple goal of being a family, of parenting our children, doesn’t look any more complicated than this: raise them well equipped to leave home and to establish faithful lives.
  9. Teach them to take responsibility: Kids who learn how to duck responsibility and avoid cost will – sooner or later – fall flat on their faces. Loving fathers make sure their children know how to own up, clean up, and move forward.
  10. Teach them to love this life: The best predictor of happiness in children is happiness in their parents. If we learn how to love this life, and then give that blessing to our kids, then they will be well prepared for satisfaction

Thursday, January 01, 2015

Redefining Modern Fatherhood 2015

 






Congratulations to you! You are an AMAZING father! I'm honored to know and follow your journey. You're a strong individual that will never give up on his baby girl! That makes you an extremely honorable person! Your daughter will be very proud to have a father who loves and cares for her so. God bless you, I'll continue to pray for you and your daughter.



If people would take a moment to read about what is being done to our innocent children, being ripped away from parents that love them. I give you a lot of credit for never giving up on ZORAYA
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David Inguanzo

Family Law Reform
  - 

American Fathers Liberation Army's profile photoScott Adams's profile photoDavid Inguanzo's profile photo

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Why Father Involvement Is Critical: The Importance of Active Fatherhood

Why Father Involvement Is Critical: The Importance of Active Fatherhood

Father involvement has long been recognized as an essential aspect of a child’s development and well-being. While the role of mothers in child-rearing has traditionally been emphasized, recent research and evolving societal attitudes underscore the profound impact fathers have on their children’s lives. Involved fathers contribute positively to their children’s emotional, social, and cognitive development, and their participation helps to create stronger families and communities.

Here’s why father involvement is critical:

1. Emotional and Psychological Development

Father involvement is strongly linked to positive emotional outcomes for children. When fathers engage in their children’s lives—whether through play, conversation, or shared experiences—they provide emotional support, security, and guidance. This active participation has been shown to foster higher levels of self-esteem, self-confidence, and emotional stability in children.

Children who experience consistent and supportive father involvement tend to develop healthier emotional regulation, which allows them to cope better with challenges and stress. On the other hand, a lack of fatherly involvement can contribute to feelings of neglect or abandonment, leading to emotional struggles or attachment issues.

2. Cognitive and Academic Achievement

Fathers are critical to fostering intellectual growth and academic success in their children. Studies have shown that children with involved fathers tend to have higher IQs, better problem-solving abilities, and stronger academic performance. This is especially true when fathers actively engage in activities like reading, assisting with schoolwork, and encouraging educational curiosity.

Fathers often offer unique perspectives, insights, and challenges that promote critical thinking and innovation in children. Their involvement can also set high expectations and motivate children to strive for academic excellence. Conversely, children who lack fatherly involvement may struggle with concentration, motivation, and discipline, all of which can affect their academic progress.

3. Social and Behavioral Development

Active fatherhood has a profound effect on a child’s social skills and behavior. Fathers often engage with their children in ways that encourage independence, self-control, and social responsibility. By participating in activities like sports, games, and problem-solving tasks, fathers help children learn the importance of teamwork, perseverance, and conflict resolution.

Research indicates that children with involved fathers are less likely to engage in risky behaviors such as substance abuse, early sexual activity, or violent conduct. On the flip side, children who grow up without a father’s involvement or guidance are more prone to behavioral problems, delinquency, and poor social interactions, which can carry into adulthood.

4. Gender Role Development and Relationship Skills

Fathers play an integral role in shaping their children’s understanding of gender roles and relationships. A positive relationship with an involved father can influence how a child forms relationships in the future. For example:

  • Daughters: A father who models respectful and nurturing behavior towards women teaches his daughters what to expect in their own relationships, promoting healthy self-esteem and relationship standards.

  • Sons: A father’s example serves as a model for their sons’ behavior towards others, particularly women. A positive male role model can influence a son’s attitude towards women, teaching them to treat others with respect, kindness, and equality.

Additionally, a strong father-child bond sets the stage for healthy romantic relationships in the future. Sons who have positive relationships with their fathers are more likely to form stable and respectful relationships with women. Likewise, daughters with involved fathers are less likely to tolerate abusive or unbalanced relationships.

5. Economic and Practical Support

Fathers are often key sources of economic support for the family, and their involvement can positively affect a child’s quality of life. When fathers share in the responsibility of providing financial stability, it lessens the economic burden on mothers, allowing both parents to contribute to a child’s upbringing. This balance provides children with access to better educational resources, healthcare, and extracurricular activities, all of which contribute to their well-being.

Moreover, father involvement isn’t just about financial support—it’s also about sharing parenting duties. Fathers can contribute to day-to-day responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, or driving children to activities, which lightens the load for mothers and creates a more balanced and supportive family environment.

6. Breaking the Cycle of Fatherlessness

In many communities, the absence of fathers in the home is a persistent issue. Studies show that fatherless children are more likely to experience a range of negative outcomes, including higher rates of poverty, school dropout, juvenile delinquency, and mental health issues. When fathers actively participate in their children’s lives, they break the cycle of fatherlessness and create a more positive and hopeful future for the next generation.

Fathers who stay involved in their children's lives, even if they do not live with them full-time, can have a lasting and beneficial impact. Whether through joint custody arrangements, regular visitation, or simply maintaining an active presence, fathers can provide the stability and support their children need to thrive.

7. Strengthening Family Relationships and Community

Father involvement has the power to strengthen family bonds and improve overall family dynamics. When fathers and mothers share the responsibility of parenting, it leads to more balanced, cooperative relationships between parents. This teamwork benefits the entire family unit, offering children a sense of security and emotional consistency.

Additionally, when fathers are involved in the lives of their children, they contribute to the broader community fabric. Active fathers often engage in their communities, from coaching youth sports teams to participating in local volunteer efforts. By modeling these behaviors, fathers teach their children the value of social responsibility, helping to create a community of engaged and conscientious citizens.

Conclusion: The Vital Role of Fathers

Father involvement is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Involved fathers provide emotional, social, economic, and developmental benefits that shape the future of their children and society. From boosting academic success to fostering emotional stability, fatherhood is a powerful force for good.

As we continue to understand the impact of fathers on children’s lives, it becomes clear that supporting and encouraging father involvement should be a societal priority. When fathers are actively involved in their children’s lives, they set their children on a path to success, happiness, and fulfillment. Ultimately, father involvement isn’t just good for children—it’s good for families and society as a whole.


Father involvement is critical for your organization. Father Friendly Check-Up™ is a Low Intensity tool to help you successfully engage dads and strengthen the families in your community. This assessment allows you to analyze your physical environment, location, organizational philosophies, staff attitudes, and more.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

What it means to be a dad under different Florida statutes.


Journal

December, 2010 Volume 84, No. 10


by Judge Sue Robbins

Page 24

Florida courts have been firm in asserting that a child has only one father, and that paternal rights and responsibilities cannot be spread or shared between two or more individuals.1 However, the reality of the law is somewhat more complex. A man may be a presumptive father, a putative father, a prospective father, or an unmarried biological father, and yet have no rights other than notice of proceedings with respect to the child. If the child is born to a woman who is married to someone other than the man in question, he may be entitled to even less.2 Paternity has been distinguished from legitimacy so that the rights and duties of fatherhood can sometimes be shared, or transferred from one man to another, without disturbing the child’s legitimate status.3 A man may be proven to be the biological father of the child, but not be recognized to have any parental rights.4 Parents may stipulate in a dissolution of marriage case that the husband is not the father of the wife’s then unborn child. Thereafter, the father may be required to be joined as a party in a termination of parental rights case because his rights continue.5


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