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Showing posts with label Joint custody (United States). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joint custody (United States). Show all posts

Friday, October 28, 2016

It is time to resolve our ambivalence and contradictory ideas about fathers’ and mothers’ roles in their children’s lives



Big changes are afoot Down Under. And these presage changes in the U.S., Canada and Europe as well.


For the past few years, a research report issued by the office of the Australian Attorney General, with statements of its lead author, has exerted a disproportionate impact on the lives of young children whose parents are separated. Bucking the trend to keep both parents regularly involved with their children whether or not the parents live together, Australia’s guidelines, widely adopted in the U.S., have discouraged allowing young children to spend overnights with both parents after separation. In most cases such “blanket restrictions” mean that mothers do all the caregiving at night.


Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. When they do dads are being made increasingly irrelevant in the life of their kids, often as a result of spite or malice, with tragic consequences on children, families and communities.

But all this is changing. Practically overnight. Australian professionals are shredding their guidelines in the light of two recent papers exposing the flawed science behind denying young children the pleasure of their dads’ bedtime stories. A balanced view of the research data supports common sense. If young children can take naps during the day under their fathers’ watchful eyes, they can sleep at night in their fathers’ homes. If young children can be apart from their working mothers all day long, they shouldn’t be deprived of quality time with their dads during the night.
Strong parent-child bonds begin at birth — for mothers and for fathers. Caring for children at night and being there in the morning is part of the process of developing a solid relationship. The more time parents spend with their infants and toddlers, the better able they are to read their baby’s signals and respond sensitively to their children’s needs. In two-parent homes we encourage hands-on shared parenting night and day. It takes nothing away from mother-child relationships when dads change diapers and bathe babies.

One of the game-changing papers, I am proud to say, was mine. But I had a lot of help with it. The manuscript was improved, vetted, and endorsed by 110 scholars, from 15 countries, who are at the top of their professions: Professors Emeriti, Deans, former Presidents of professional associations such as the American Psychological Association, and department heads. Collectively the group have about 10,000 publications to their credit.

We were united in wanting to make a public statement about where science stands on the issue of young children’s needs following their parents’ separation. Our goal was not just to clarify the accepted, settled science. We wanted to ensure that reliable science plays an important role in policy and decisions about young children’s contacts with each parent. Read about the consensus reporthere.

Monday, May 16, 2016

The Enabling Unlawful Act


The U.S. Constitution requires all citizens to be treated equally. However, these courts are such a scam they will treat people based on any criteria they like, gender and financial ability being the main criteria. If you have a vagina you start out as the winner and losing takes real effort. However, if you are a woman and make or have more money to pay into the system you may have a real challenge. Bottom line: These courts are a racket optimized to extract money, not dispense justice or law of any kind.


Legislators, judges and lawyers all have HUGE conflicts of interest. They make money by violating your civil rights, writing unconstitutional laws and destroying families every day. These people are criminals and need to be exposed, You must understand these hidden money motives to avoid being abused and to demand your rights.


Legislators, judges and lawyers all have HUGE conflicts of interest. They make money by violating your civil rights, writing unconstitutional laws and destroying families every day. These people are criminals and need to be exposed, You must understand these hidden money motives to avoid being abused and to demand your rights.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Child custody and time-sharing; the relationship continues

Who is going to have custody of children when the couple separate or divorce? This decision has to be made along with, how the children will be taken care of and the visitation, the how of each parent spending time with the children. Relationships cause connectedness and there are orders to abide by. There are two types of custody orders.

There is Legal custody. The parent who has the custody will be important decision maker about the child’s health care, doctor, dentist, orthodontist, psychiatric, mental health counseling, therapy,educationreligious activities or institutions, welfare, school, childcare, sports, summer camp, vacation, or extracurricular activitiestravel, and place of residence.

There is also physical custody, ordering with whom the child will live. In joint custody the child can live with both. Under sole or primary custody the child will live with one parent much of the time and visits the other parent usually. There are cases of judges allowing parents joint legal custody and not joint physical custody, both parents share the responsibility in important decision making and the child lives with one parent and the other receives visitation right.

There is visitation plan to prevent and reduce confusion, anger and further conflict. Under supervised visitation, when the child's safety and well-being is at issue or if the child and the other parent would need gradual exposure, it is supervised by custodial parent, an adult, a professional agency or a mental health counselor. There is also a “no visitation” rule about that, even if with supervision, physical and/or emotional welfare of the child can be jeopardized. When visitation, custody or time share plan is drawn the above issues are clarified.
There are visitation guidelines, also known as time-share. Here a plan is set about how the both parents will share the time with the children. Either one (sole custody) or both parents (called shared custody) can have custody. Under normal circumstances, the judge consorts about arrangements with the parents and reaches a final decision about custody and visitation. If there is disagreement between the parents the judge will make that decision at a hearing. There is usually a mediator about custody and visitation. The family court services provide the mediator for the parents to reconcile.

Custody and visitation is decided considering the best interest of the child’s health, safety and wellbeing. Here history of abuse by either or both parents is considered.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Judge Judy Destroys Child Support

Judge Judy, known for her sharp and no-nonsense demeanor, might have taken a strong stance on child support issues. Judge Judy has often been outspoken about the challenges and complexities of family law, and her courtroom style has garnered both praise and criticism for its directness and sometimes harsh judgments.

In cases involving child support, Judge Judy has frequently emphasized the importance of both parents being financially responsible for their children. She’s been particularly critical of individuals who attempt to avoid paying child support, especially when there is a clear obligation to do so. She’s also been known to dismiss cases where she believes one parent is simply trying to "get back" at the other through the child support system, as well as cases where the amount being requested seems disproportionate.



The following is my argument to the Court in the Parental Alienation case, Nov 2014. Identities are protected by substituting information contained inside the parentheses.

CLOSING ARGUMENT BY MR. HUGUENOR:
YOUR HONOR, DR. (ABC).  FAMILY COURT SERVICES FOUND GREAT CONFLICT, (THE CHILD VICTIM OF PA) WAS BEING PLACED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CONFLICT AND PHYSICAL HARM TO (THE CHILD VICTIM OF PA).
DR. (ABC) STARTED THE CONJOINT COUNSELING.  HE (THE DOCTOR) TESTIFIED THAT HE WAS AWARE OF THOSE FINDINGS.  HE TESTIFIED THAT IT WAS PART OF HIS PURPOSE TO EVALUATE WHAT WAS CAUSING THE CONFLICT AND HARM AND THE PLACING (THE CHILD VICTIM OF PA) IN THE MIDDLE.
DR. (ABC) TESTIFIED THAT HE FOUND NO INCIDENT OF (THE TARGETED PARENT) CREATING CONFLICT.  THE CONFLICT WAS CAUSED BY (THE PARENTAL ALIENATION PERPETRATING PARENT).
(THE PERPETRATING PARENT) DID NUMEROUS THINGS THAT PLACED THE CHILD INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE CONFLICT.  (THE PERPETRATING PARENT) HAD EXPRESSED TO THE (CHILD—VICTIM OF PA) THAT THE (TARGETED PARENT) WAS ESSENTIALLY OF NO VALUE.  (THE PERPETRATING PARENT) DID THAT DIRECTLY TO DR. (ABC) IN HIS OFFICE.  HE FOUND THAT THE CONFLICT WAS SIGNIFICANTLY HARMFUL TO THE CHILD (VICTIM OF PA).  HE FOUND THAT IT WOULD BE DETRIMENTAL TO THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD, DETRIMENTAL TO THE CHILD'S WELFARE FOR JOINT CUSTODY, JOINT PHYSICAL CUSTODY TO CONTINUE.
(THE DOCTOR) DESCRIBED THE SITUATION AS STAGE THREE OF PARENTAL ALIENATION.  HE DESCRIBED THAT (THE CHILD VICTIM OF PA) WAS NOT ALLOWED TO LOVE (THE TARGETED PARENT) IN THE (PERPETRATING PARENT’S) HOME.  (THE CHILD) WAS NOT ALLOWED TO RESPECT THE (TARGETED PARENT).  HE SAW (THE CHILD VICTIM OF PA) AT TIMES WHEN (THE CHILD) HAD COME FROM (THE PERPETRATING PARENT)'S CUSTODY AND TIMES WHEN (THE CHILD) CAME FROM (THE TARGETED PARENT)'S CUSTODY, AND HE FOUND A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHILD, A CHILD WHO WAS HEALTHY IN (THE TARGETED PARENT)'S CUSTODY.
HE FOUND NO EVIDENCE OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE, ALTHOUGH (THE PERPETRATING PARENT) REPEATED SUBSTANCE ABUSE OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
AND THERE WERE TWO STATEMENTS FROM (THE CHILD VICTIM OF PA).  ONE, EXHIBIT (X), IN WHICH (THE CHILD VICTIM OF PA) IS DESCRIBING SUBSTANCE ABUSE (OF THE TARGET PARENT) TAKING UP THE STATEMENTS OF THE (PERPETRATING PARENT).  DR. (ABC) TESTIFIED THAT THIS IS COMMON IN THIS TYPE OF A SITUATION BECAUSE (THE PERPETRATING PARENT)'S LOVE IS CONDITIONAL LOVE, AND THE CHILD QUICKLY LEARNS THAT (THE CHILD) MUST ADOPT THE ATTITUDES OF THE (PERPETRATING PARENT) IN ORDER TO BE IN A POSITION OF LOVE WITH THE (PERPETRATING PARENT).
(THE CHILD VICTIM) WANTS TO LOVE THE (PERPETRATING PARENT).  (THE CHILD) WANTS TO LOVE THE (TARGETED PARENT).  (THE CHILD) DOES LOVE BOTH PARENTS, AND THIS (PARENTAL ALIENATION) IS CHILD ABUSE, AS DR. (ABC) TESTIFIED, FOR (THE PERPETRATING PARENT) TO ORCHESTRATE A SITUATION WITH (THE CHILD VICTIM) WHERE (PERPETRATING PARENT) IS TRYING TO CAUSE (THE CHILD VICTIM) TO REJECT AND WITHDRAW FROM (THE CHILD’S) (TARGETED PARENT) 100 PERCENT.
BASED ON THIS TESTIMONY, WE REQUEST SOLE PHYSICAL AND SOLE LEGAL CUSTODY OF (THE CHILD VICTIM) TO THE (TARGETED PARENT), AND TO TAKE (THE PA PERPETRATING PARENT)'S VISITATION DOWN TO MINIMAL, AND HAVE (THE PERPETRATING PARENT) WORK WITH A THERAPIST, WHOEVER, OF (PERPETRATING PARENT’S) CHOICE, WHO WILL THEN WORK WITH DR. (ABC) AND WILL TRY TO TRACK, OR THEY WILL TRY TO TRACK PROGRESS THAT (THE PERPETRATING PARENT) IS MAKING THROUGH ACTIONS, NOT JUST WORDS, WHERE (THE PERPETRATING PARENT) WILL NO LONGER PUT (THE CHILD VICTIM) AT RISK.
THANK YOU.

Thomas M. Huguenor originally shared to Guys With Kids - Important




When I was successful in prosecuting a child custody parental alienation (PA) case, a couple of weeks ago, I was thankful because PA is child abuse that is rarely proven.  When I say "proven" I mean to the extent that the Court significantly reduces the parenting time for the PP (parenting who is perpetrating PA). In a PA case, which I handled, a year ago, the Court's expert witness found that the PP had committed only acts of "bad parenting" although it was established, through another independent psychologist, that this parent had committed 20 acts of PA; and that the victim child had completely withdrawn from the Targeted Parent. Many experts are reluctant to acknowledge that, or they simply cannot recognize when, significant acts of PA have been committed. Also, many Family Court judges have had little or no training, or work experience with PA.  So, frequently, even when the Court finds wrongful actions have been taken by a parent; there is no finding of PA and nothing other than a warning to the PP to stop this behavior. PA is not visible in the way that a physical beating would be.  It can't be diagnosed by a police officer coming to a home after a 911 call. Please see the referenced article by Dr. Major which explains why PA is so hard to prove and, when it is, the finding rarely results in change of custody. However, allow me to conclude which the following: PA can be established in court. PA can be stopped and even reversed through appropriate court orders. In the next post I will include my closing argument to the Court so that you may see what factors I stressed as significant and my requested child custody modification orders.

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

The Role Parents Play in Their Children's Academic Success

The Role Parents Play in Their Children's Academic Success

Parents are one of the most influential factors in their children’s academic success. Their involvement, support, and guidance help shape the foundation for a child’s learning and educational experience. While teachers and schools play an essential role, research has consistently shown that parental involvement is a key determinant of academic achievement. Whether directly or indirectly, parents can impact their child's motivation, mindset, and academic performance in profound ways.

Here’s a breakdown of the many roles parents play in supporting their children’s academic success:


1. Establishing a Positive Learning Environment

A stable, supportive, and nurturing home environment is one of the most important factors in academic success. Parents who create an atmosphere that values education can inspire their children to prioritize their studies. Some key ways parents do this include:

  • Providing a quiet, distraction-free space for study and homework.

  • Setting routines and schedules that balance study time with leisure and rest, helping children manage their time effectively.

  • Encouraging curiosity by discussing a variety of topics, reading books, and exploring educational activities at home.

When parents make learning an integral part of daily life, children are more likely to develop good study habits, focus on their schoolwork, and understand the value of education.


2. Encouraging High Expectations and Motivation

One of the key roles of parents is to set high, yet achievable expectations for their children. Encouraging a mindset of growth and self-belief is crucial. Children thrive when they are told that they can achieve success through effort, persistence, and learning from mistakes. Positive reinforcement and constructive feedback from parents can boost a child’s self-esteem and motivate them to keep pushing toward their goals.

  • Setting academic goals: Parents who talk with their children about their goals for school (e.g., getting a certain grade or mastering a specific skill) help children understand the importance of setting personal targets.

  • Celebrating achievements: Acknowledging progress—whether big or small—reinforces positive behaviors and fosters a sense of pride in their work.

  • Encouraging perseverance: Teaching children to view challenges as opportunities for growth, rather than obstacles, helps them develop resilience and persistence.

Research shows that when parents have high expectations and consistently support their children’s academic goals, it boosts their self-confidence and academic outcomes.


3. Providing Emotional and Psychological Support

Children’s emotional well-being directly influences their academic performance. Parents who provide emotional support help children feel secure and confident in their abilities, which in turn can positively impact their academic achievement. Some ways parents provide emotional support include:

  • Being present and engaged: Active involvement in a child’s school life—attending parent-teacher conferences, staying informed about assignments, and showing interest in their progress—demonstrates care and concern.

  • Listening and validating feelings: Parents who create an open, non-judgmental space for their children to talk about school-related stress, social challenges, or frustrations can help children navigate difficult emotions.

  • Providing encouragement during setbacks: When children face academic difficulties or failure, parents who offer encouragement and practical solutions (rather than criticism) help build a child’s resilience.

A child who feels supported emotionally by their parents is more likely to remain motivated, even when faced with academic challenges.


4. Being a Role Model for Learning

Children learn by example, and parents who prioritize their own learning and demonstrate positive attitudes toward education set a powerful example. Parents who show an enthusiasm for reading, problem-solving, and learning new skills teach their children to approach learning as a lifelong pursuit.

  • Reading at home: Parents who read with their children or model reading themselves help foster a love of reading and literacy.

  • Lifelong learning: Parents who engage in continued education—whether through formal schooling, professional development, or personal interests—send the message that learning doesn’t stop after school.

  • Problem-solving: When parents demonstrate how to solve problems or work through challenges (e.g., math problems, decision-making), children learn how to tackle their own challenges with critical thinking and determination.

When children see their parents prioritizing learning, they internalize the idea that education is a valuable and lifelong pursuit.


5. Monitoring and Supporting Academic Progress

Parents should regularly monitor their children’s academic progress and engage with them to ensure they are staying on track. This doesn’t mean hovering over their homework but rather showing interest in their overall school experience and providing the necessary support when needed.

  • Setting time for check-ins: Regularly checking in with children about their assignments, upcoming tests, or projects helps parents stay involved in their academic life. Asking questions about schoolwork or upcoming deadlines fosters accountability.

  • Reviewing grades and progress: Tracking grades and communicating with teachers if there are any concerns ensures that problems are addressed before they become bigger issues.

  • Helping with schoolwork: Providing guidance on challenging assignments or offering help with organizing study sessions can make a big difference in a child’s success.

Parental involvement in school activities and homework can lead to improved academic outcomes, especially when parents are proactive in providing encouragement and support.


6. Supporting Social Development and Peer Relationships

A child’s social and emotional development can also affect their academic success. Parents play a role in helping their children build positive relationships with peers, teachers, and other adults in the school community. Some strategies include:

  • Encouraging teamwork and collaboration: When children are encouraged to work in groups or share ideas, they develop essential teamwork skills that are vital both in school and later in life.

  • Teaching social skills: Parents can help children understand how to communicate effectively, manage conflicts, and be kind and empathetic toward others.

  • Facilitating extracurricular activities: By supporting participation in sports, clubs, and other extracurricular activities, parents help their children build self-esteem and learn important life skills that complement their academic pursuits.

Healthy social development promotes positive school experiences and enhances a child’s overall academic success.


7. Advocating for Their Child’s Needs

When parents actively engage in their children’s educational journey, they are often the first to identify challenges or needs that might require additional support. This could include:

  • Requesting accommodations: Parents may need to advocate for children who have special educational needs, such as learning disabilities, by working with teachers to create an individualized learning plan (IEP) or other necessary supports.

  • Addressing bullying or social issues: Parents who are proactive about addressing bullying or other negative social situations can ensure that their children’s emotional well-being is maintained, which is essential for learning.

  • Seeking extra help: Parents can also play a role in helping children who are struggling academically by seeking out tutors, online resources, or after-school programs that provide extra support.

Parents who advocate for their children’s needs create an environment in which children feel supported and can reach their full academic potential.


Conclusion: The Power of Parental Involvement

Parents are not just passive observers in their children’s educational journey; they are active participants who help lay the foundation for academic success. Their involvement—whether in emotional support, creating a positive learning environment, or advocating for their child’s needs—has a lasting impact on how well their children perform academically and develop into well-rounded individuals.

By providing encouragement, structure, and support, parents help build the skills, mindset, and resilience that children need to succeed in school and beyond. In short, when parents are invested in their children’s education, children are more likely to thrive, not only academically but also socially and emotionally. The partnership between parents and children can make all the difference in a child’s success story.

WND EXCLUSIVE

FEDS ABANDON 'EQUAL RIGHTS' CLAIM TO RAISE YOUR KIDS


'Much work to be done before decades of federal overreach is reversed'


Federal officials have reversed their claim that they have “equal rights” to children to raise them, a claim that stirred outrage in many quarters of America when it was first made a few months back.
The claim originally was included in a draft policy by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the Department of Education and generously allowed that parents, too, should be allowed to help raise their own children along with the government, through various programs.
The document, the “Draft Policy Statement on Family Engagement From the Early Years to the Early Grades,” stated at the time: “It is the position of the departments that all early childhood programs and schools recognize families as equal partners in improving children’s development, learning and wellness across all settings, and over the course of their children’s developmental and educational experiences.”
That one sentence, wrote William A. Estrada, the director of federal relations policy for the Home School Legal Defense Association, “unmasks the federal government’s true philosophy behind decades of federal involvement in welfare, kindergarten through 12th grade education spending and policies, programs like Head Start, and now the push to create universal early education for young children from birth through age 5: the federal government believes that its role is equal with the role of parents.

The newest release of the statement, however, now provides that, “Families are children’s first and most important teachers, advocates, and nurturers. Strong family engagement in early childhood systems and programs is central – not supplemental – to promoting children’s healthy intellectual, physical, and social-emotional development; preparing children for school; and supporting academic achievement in elementary school and beyond. Research indicates that families’ involvement in children’s learning and development impacts lifelong health, developmental, and academic outcomes.”
The HSLDA had blasted the earlier statement, in fact, dispatching Estrada to meet with senior officials from the U.S. Department of Education and “personally” explaining the significant issues with the draft statement, including opposition from parents to the “bureaucratic arrogance.”
The change is a very mich improved version, the HSLDA pointed out, making clear that “families have strong and sustained effects on children’s learning, development, and wellness.”
“Despite this victory,” the group explained. “there are other problems with the document that remain. The document’s working definition of ‘family’ still includes not only a child’s parents or legal guardians, but ‘all adults who interact with early childhood systems in support of their child, to include biological, adoptive, and foster parents; grandparents; legal and infromal guardians; and adult siblings.’”
HSLDA exlained, “In situations where conflict may exist between a child’s parents and other family members regarding educational choices, this still quite broad definition of family is not hepful for clarity regarding parental rights in education.”

The organization explained, “There is much work to be done before decades of federal overreach in K-12 education is reversed.”

The document does still include a suggestion that families and institutions “partner” to give children better results in school.
WND reported the original plan by the government was to “systematically” engage families about their own children.
“At HSLDA, we believe that these statements reveal these agencies’ true beliefs: that a child’s God-given family does not matter. Family is whomever or whatever the government says it is,” Estrada wrote at the time.
He cited other government agendas, such as pushing the political correctness in Common Core, “dangerous U.N. treaties,” as well as suggestions for universal preschool.
Federal officials have reversed their claim that they have “equal rights” to children to raise them, a claim that stirred outrage in many quarters of America when it was first made a few months back. The claim originally was included in a draft policy by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the […]

Saturday, October 26, 2013

False Child Abuse Claims


REBLOG: Defend Yourself?

So can you choose from 1 or 2 below?
1) Not reporting Abuse

2) Falsely reporting Abuse

Please note there are State Statute penalties for both. Actually the Index of State Statute Summaries has them grouped together. In a way, they are related...

 But in Reality Are they Really?

Penalties for Failure to Report and False Reporting of Child Abuse and Neglect: Summary of State Laws


“An Injustice To One Man, Woman or Child Threatens Justice To All People Equally”.

Dean Tong, Author/Forensic Consultant


As Seen on Dr. Phil (TV show) and CBS 48 HOURS.

Dean Tong, MSc., is an expert in child victim hearsay. The real reason this web site exists and is necessary can be best described by some of the lyrics from this 1965 song by The Animals – “Cause I’m just a soul whose intentions are good…Oh Lord…Please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

Me, of course, refers to our well-meaning, well-intentioned, but sometimes misguided child protective investigators.And I am humbled to now say that my work has been acknowledged and recognized online at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dean_Tong.



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