October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. |
A self-censored chronicle of family court dramas, lived by parents who lost all or some visitation with or custody of a child or children based on perjury and/or other false courtroom evidence
Wednesday
I Was Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence...Now My Child Suffers
Monday
Happy Birthday Zoraya! I love you and miss you so much!!
A POEM FROM DADDY
The moment you came into this world
your cry was for me the sweetest word.
I used to hold you in my arms
singing gently till sleep comes.
I used to drive away all fear …
Made you feel safe when I was near …
I was the first to see you walk …
I was the first to hear you talk …
When “papa” came out of your mouth
I was the happiest man from north to south …
I used to feed you milk in a bottle.
I was a poney and you sat on my saddle.
I was a plane, an animal, or even a train …
Just for your laugh I did things insane …
I used to tell you stories before “goodnight”
Whenever you were sad, I made everything right…
We made drawings of you, mom and dad.
I thank God for the good times we had!
We bought flowers, sweets and presents for mummy
made cards for her with love like honey …
We played music and sang and danced.
From all we did, this is just a glance …
A glance of the past … Now I am far away …
Not being able to see you every day …
I’m now not able to show you my love
to share with you sweet moments like the ones we used to have …
So now my child what else can I say?
I hope you are well, only this is what I wish and pray.
Sunday
The gift of parenting children is the single greatest blessing and experience an individual can enjoy in life
The gift of parenting children is the single greatest blessing and experience an individual can enjoy in life. Therefore to me, parenting rights are not a “special rights” concern; they are a “human rights” concern.
So, I want to ask where you stand on an important political issue: Family Law Reform.
As you may or may not be aware, our current system of Family Law has devolved into one in which a whole host of Family Court Industry players are profiteering from the minimization or elimination of parenting time and rights for non-custodial parents.
Many custodial parents, lawyers, parenting plan evaluators, supervised parenting services, States, friends of the Court social workers, many Courts, and others; are making money by using children as an excuse to exploit non-custodial parents, causing irreparable harm to both children and their parents in the process.
I, and a rapidly growing base of many others, would like this to stop. More specifically, we are asking for five primary reforms to Family Law:
The presumption of 50/50 custody and parenting rights during and after divorce. We are NOT asking for a REQUIREMENT of 50/50, because we still want parents to be able to decide for themselves what works best for them. However, in the event that case goes to trial, instead of having the NCP being forced to rise to a high standard to show why they should have time with their children, I believe it’s far healthier (for both parents and children) for the parent contesting this time to be required to rise to a high standard to show why the NCP should NOT have equal time with their children. And while this may dramatically hit the financial accounts of those who are using children for profit by creating or aggravating conditions of conflict, this reform will affect far healthier outcomes for families.
I would like reforms to child support calculations. More specifically, an elimination of financial incentives for minimizing or eliminating a non-custodial parent’s time with their little ones. As it sits now, there are basically two pieces to the child support calculation: (1) An actual physical needs worksheet, and (2) A tax-free income redistribution; with the Court establishing the higher of the two as the child support order. I recognize that custodial parents may need some time to adjust after divorce, and I have no problems with alimony/maintenance. However, I would like the alimony portion of child support to be eliminated. If a CP wants to better their lifestyle, they can put the work into bettering themselves just like NCP’S are often admonished to do. Children are NOT tax-free income producing assets, and NCP’s are NOT indentured servants.
Reforms to child support enforcement: If one wants to accomplish a goal, it helps establish good or helpful conditions to achieve that goal. Unfortunately, the Family Court has become accustomed to pathological and often draconian measures for enforcement in which the civil rights of NCP’s are systematically ignored or eliminated through administrative court procedures. If a person loses their job, or becomes ill or disabled, it makes no sense what so ever, to take away their driver’s license, vocational license, destroy their credit, throw them in jail, or force them into homelessness. How does this help to ensure the support gets caught-up? It doesn’t. It simply makes the problem worse and sets the non-custodial parent up for future, life-destroying failures. Truthfully, current regimes for enforcement that treat "deadbroke" parents as common criminals are completely inappropriate.
Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458 "Incentive Payments To States": I have no problem, in theory, with states being rewarded for child support enforcement. However, I have a big problem with States profiting from it, and a REALLY big problem with the lack of resources available to NCP’s for visitation enforcement. For little or no cost, a CP can have the state pursue civil or criminal remedies for delinquent child support. However, an NCP in reality, must hire an attorney if his or her visitation orders are being ignored, and often, these orders are not enforced with anywhere near the same severity by the Court as they are with child support orders. And I’m confident this is happening in large part, due to the financial interests of those parties noted in paragraph four. Therefore, if there is going to be Federal incentives for the enforcement of Family Court orders, I want equal weighting and importance put the enforcement of visitation orders. Honestly, the message that money is more important than a parent’s relationship and the emotional well-being of children is remarkably disgusting. I simply can’t tolerate that kind of worldview.
VAWA reform. I agree that victims of abuse and violence need the ability to feel safe in swiftly seeking the protection of the Justice system. However, fraudulent allegations of abuse made during Family Court are getting out of control. This is a gender-neutral problem, and it seems it now boils down to which party can launch this nuclear attack first. There are no remedies available to the victims of fraudulent allegations – none, and the damage these allegations cause to both children and parents is catastrophic.
The American Bar Association loves to fall back on VAWA as its reasoning for opposing any kind of Family Law reform. However, I can’t help but wonder how much money attorneys and investigators are making from a law that allows someone to be accused of such a serious crime and presumed guilty of it with no credible evidence what-so-ever. Something needs to be done about this, right now.
In short, much of the current political and judicial rationalizing for the current structure of Family Law centers on the concept of what’s “in the best interests of the children”. However, what is becoming increasingly clear is that children are simply being used as a seemingly noble excuse to mask a greedier underlying motive that is causing significant and irreparable harm to parents and children alike.
I understand you can expect to receive significant resistance to my ideas for reform because those parties noted earlier have a great deal to lose when they take place.
However, I’m not concerned about them. I’m concerned about the health and well-being children and parents, and your position on this matter will affect my voting behavior going forward.
Therefore, I will be grateful if you will tell me, in plain and simple words, where you stand on Family Law Reform.
Thank you so much for your time.
A Child's Rights
A child has the right to: • A continuing relationship with both parents. • Be treated not as a piece of property, but as a human being...
Friday
Domestic Violence Awareness ~~ Only Fathers With $$ Can Fight Back
Congress: Don't Export Discrimination Against Male and LGBT Victims of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is a problem throughout the world. A bill known as the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA) has been introduced in Congress to combat domestic violence in ot.
Thursday
"Now that we falsely accused Daddy in Family Court..."
What is the State Domestic Violence Legislative Project? » SAVE: Stop Abusive and Violent Environments
The Violence Against Women Act provides grants to state and local law-enforcement agencies, prosecutors, and courts to establish and enforce domestic violence laws and policies. But there is a growing belief that many of these policies are harmful to victims and give rise to false allegations.
Wednesday
Should children have rights when parents and other family members fight?
The Right to be Heard
The right to be heard is a valuable right. What makes it valuable is both that there is a point to making one's views known and, further, that making one's views known makes a difference. It matters to me that I can speak out on political questions. It matters also, and probably more, if what I say leads to the changes I favour. Correlatively it is true both that I do not want to be silenced and that I do not want the statement of my views to be ineffectual. As a further general point it is clear that there will always be some issues on which it is more important that I be allowed to speak and that what I say about these issues carries weight in determining outcomes. Those are the issues that matter to me, and the more they matter the more important it is that I have the freedom to speak about them and be heard. On one account since children's views should not be ‘authoritative’, that is determinative of what is done, they have only a ‘consultative’ role (Brighouse 2003). They may influence an outcome by, most obviously, providing those who do make the decisions affecting a child's interests with a clearer picture of what in fact is in those interests. On another account encouraging and according a weight to the expression of children's views—even where this is unlikely to affect outcomes in line with the views' content—is valuable just because the child is capable of expressing a view and deserves to be listened to (Archard and Skivenes 2009).
How is it with the child's right to be heard? It will be important for the child to be listened to. But it is also important that the child is heard in the sense that her views are given due consideration and may influence what is done. Note that the child's right to be heard on matters affecting its own interests is a substitute for the liberty right to make one's own choices. The right to be heard is only a right to have the opportunity to influence the person who will otherwise choose for the child. The power to make those choices resides with the adult guardian or representative of the child. All the child retains is the right to try to motivate that adult to choose as the child herself would choose if she was allowed to.
Tuesday
Divorced parents can deprive their children of important childhood memories. Five suggestions to help your children through the devastating blow of divorce.
"A Parent-Partner Status for American Family Law"
By Family Law
Professor Merle H. Weiner (University of Oregon School of Law) has published A Parent-Partner Status for American Family Law (Cambridge University Press):
Despite the fact that becoming a parent is a pivotal event, the birth or adoption of a child has little significance for parents' legal relationship to each other. Instead, the law relies upon marriage, domestic partnerships, contracts, and some equitable remedies to set the parameters of the legal obligations between parents. With high rates of nonmarital childbirth and divorce, the current approach to regulating the legal relationship of parents is outdated. A new legal and social structure is needed to encourage parents to act as supportive partners and to deter uncommitted couples from having children. This book is the first of its kind to propose a new "parent-partner" status for American family law. Included are a detailed discussion of the benefits of the status as well as specific recommendations for legal obligations.
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