Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts

Saturday

Don't you lose hope, your daddy is here!


The poem below was sent by ACFC member and supporter Mike H. In it he captures the essence of lost Christmas' many men experience but ends in a way that exudes the attitude of a father determined to overcome the challenge of being separated from his children. Together, with the same attitude we will overcome this system that pits family member against family member.

Three Dark Christmases

The first and the darkest painful Yule Tide
Came after a year of chasing my bride

Her anger as cold as the winter snow
Was buried so deep, how could a man know?

With hope I had ventured across the land
Hoping in Heaven to still hold her hand
I was ignorant of her hateful plan

To steal from me children, loves of my life
Who would suspect that from his lovely wife?

We were celebrating Christmas that day
And because I was no longer away

My goal to make that Christmas so lovely
But that painful day I would have spared you

The pain you would feel when mommy would say... I hate you! Get out! While nearby you played

How shocking it was on that hateful morn
To learn that mommy viewed daddy with scorn

Stunned I was also, my child and my joy
To hear words of hate come out of your mom

Your mother, my lover, my friend and wife
Gave me no warning of this change in life

"Get out" I did, twas the last time I saw
You, or spoke to you for many weeks more

We met the next week on a frigid night
I can recall the thought, can I save this?

Perhaps I might remind her of fam-ly
Of children and of happier times when

Our love was stronger. I thought I'd prevail
I'm sorry my child, my love, but I failed

I asked her for reasons that fateful night
The answer she gave me was quite a slight

"You're not good enough for me" said my wife
The worst seven words I’ve heard in my life

Shocked, I went through the daily motions of
Routine, hoping I'd wake from this bad dream

Thinking the worst part was over for me
Soon did I learn that I was not quite right

When six weeks had passed since that Christmas night
Being apart from the loves of my life

The weeks turned to months that we were apart
And I almost did succumb to my heart
Until one day I finally “got it.”
I am a father, and fathers don't quit.
Back home to my fam-ly is where I went
Feeling a failure to my Heaven-sent
I went back to regroup, and back to heal
I went back to learn of strength unrevealed
Strength that was born of a weakness profound
Broken and humbled, 'twas self love I found
To learn that to love you, I first must love Me.
Because a daddy who hates himself
Cannot a good daddy be
I attacked with a passion flaws I had
Because nothing is better than being "Dad"
During these dark months, often I would say:
“Know I will always love you and be near
I will never give up, my child, don't fear”
Well, another dark Christmas came last year
I spent all I had to bring Yuletide Cheer
No way! Not a chance! Is what she did say
These children are mine! You just go away!
Just a short visit, I begged and I pled.
But she slammed the door and wished I were dead
I learned that tears can freeze, that Christmas day
A message from God to strengthen my heart
For His children need a daddy who's smart
Into the snow I went pondering this
Onto the motel I brought all your gifts
Thinking of ways for your spirits to lift
A visit we had, and love we did share
It wasn't on Christmas, and though not fair
Was happy to see you. I didn't care
How much you had grown! Your feet and your hair!
Telling you Daddy would always be there
And noticing that now you might not care
Stuffing this fear because I know what's right
A child needs a daddy on Christmas night
Well, Daddy is here, loves; this is not right
I gave you my love, hon, in that short time
That time they allowed, so short twas a crime
There's never been danger from me, my love
Never did I harm my purpose for life
No, we're both victims of a bitter wife
Sure, mistakes I have made during my life
But nothing that merits this bitter strife
Frozen tears I pondered on my way home
And the lessons you'll miss before you're grown
If this dad gave up on this fight of fights
I will not. I cannot. This just ain't right
So a team I did hire to help me win
This unfortunate battle that's a sin
And money they did charge, hand over fist
It was payment toward our big Christmas list
But when Christmas season was 'round the bend
I realized no money I had to spend
To pay for more promises unfulfilled
And support the local lawyers guild
So I parted ways with my lawyers then
And approached the third Christmas, now darkened
But have heart in this story my children
This is where good things will really begin
Know that your daddy has a plan for you
Because frankly, there's nothing I won't do
As I write this on Christmas the third so far
Please know my darlings that daddy's going to war
No more tears will I shed for the time that we've lost
No more lamenting the exorbitant cost
Of fighting to see you so little it hurts
No more will I let lawyers make things worse
No, they've woken a tiger whose efforts won't wain
They've taunted a father whose children are in pain
It's time that this daddy dealt some of the same
So don't you despair this Christmas my loves
Send those scary thoughts to God up above
He loves you like me, and knows what you need
Ask him to bless Daddy with strength and speed
Your heavenly father will never fail
I know cuz he's carried me through this tale
See he's my Father, too, and he loves me
A perfect example of fathering
He has a big plan, and it involves us
Being together for our next Christmas
Having this knowledge, this passion, this love
Has caused your daddy to take off the gloves
Within legal bounds I will focus my strikes
Just anger will focus my thoughts at night
Bad things come in threes, they always do say
So we're about due for a lovely day
So don't you lose hope, your daddy is here
There's no reason for sadness, or of fear
Your father, he loves you. He'll make this right
Let's see if these bastards know how to fight

What every Parent should know about Children without Fathers

What every Parent should know about Children without Fathers





Children NEED and deserve to have BOTH parents in their lives, the balance needs to be equal. Fathers should not be punished and branded and made to feel inadequate because a relationship with their former partner has deteriorated.

We are honest fathers, not drunks, drug users, nor 'deadbeat'. All we want is to share in the upbringing of our children, be part of their lives, and have it enforced when our children are held against us as if for ransom.

Men's rights, children's rights, Parental Alienation, Hostile-aggressive Parenting, depression, suicide, anxiety, delinquency, antisocial behavior disorders 
- ALL of these are the results of an unbalanced family law system.
Petition and Legal Pleading to the: "Florida Family Court of Miami-Dade, Florida DEMANDING they STOP Denial of Reasonable Parent/Child Contact - Stand Up For Zoraya"

Parental Alienation and the DSM-5 ~~ Courts vs. Kids ~~ Stop Family Court's Judicial Abuse


In contrast, Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) was concocted by Richard Gardner, based on no research, only his...
Posted by Denounce discredited parental alienation theory on Tuesday, September 8, 2015
"For those who are concerned about Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), two immeasurably significant points can be interpreted from the Scientific American article regarding the DSM-5." ~ Linda J. Gottlieb Kase, LMFT, LCSW-R is owner and founder of End Parental Alienation



Dr. Bill Bernet, lead a group of interested professionals in encouraging the DSM 5 editing group to include Parental Alienation Disorder. The new DSM  was published on May 18, 2013 and is the reference book for psychiatrists, psychologists and other mental health providers  Here is Dr. Bernet's unedited analysis of the result.

Finally, DSM-5 was published today.  The DSM-5 Task Force told us 2 or 3 years ago that they did not want parental alienation to be a separate diagnosis in DSM-5, but they thought that parental alienation could be considered an example of other diagnoses that are in DSM-5.

The actual words "parental alienation" are not in DSM-5, but there are several diagnoses that can be used in these cases.  I would say the "spirit" of parental alienation is in DSM-5, even if the words are not.

Parent-child relational problem now has a discussion in DSM-5, not just a label.  The discussion explains that cognitive problems in parent-child relational problem "may include negative attributions of the other's intentions, hostility toward or scapegoating of the other, and unwarranted feelings of estrangement."  That is a pretty good description of a child's view of the alienated parent, although it is an unfortunate use of the word "estrangement."

Child psychological abuse is a new diagnosis in DSM-5.  It is defined as "nonaccidental verbal or symbolic acts by a child's parent or caregiver that result, or have reasonable potential to result, in significant psychological harm to the child."  In many instances, the behavior of the alienating parent constitutes child psychological abuse.

Child affected by parental relationship distress is another new diagnosis in DSM-5.  It should be used "when the focus of clinical attention if the negative effects of parental relationship discord (e.g., high levels of conflict, distress, or disparagement) on a child in the family, including effects on the child's mental or other physical disorders."  That is also a good description of how parental alienation comes about.

Factitious disorder imposed on another is the DSM-5 terminology for factitious disorder by proxy or Munchausen disorder by proxy.  Its definition is "falsification of physical or psychological signs or symptoms, or induction of injury or disease, in another, associated with identified deception."  In some cases, that would describe the behavior of the alienating parent.

Delusional symptoms in partner of individual with delusional disorder is the DSM-5 terminology for shared psychotic disorder or folie a deux.  The definition is: "In the context of a relationship, the delusional material from the dominant partner provides content for delusional belief by the individual who may not otherwise entirely meet criteria for delusional disorder."

In discussing this topic, I would say that the concept of parental alienation is clearly in DSM-5, although the actual words are not.  This is a great improvement over DSM-IV-TR, especially with the addition of the new diagnoses, child psychological abuse and child affected by parental relationship distress.

Dr. Bernet is currently working with PAAO to present a webinar on this subject in the next 2 - 3 weeks. We will notify you of the details shortly.
This beautiful animation above was created especially for Bubbles of Love Day on behalf of Kids Aiding the PAAO (KAPAAO). 
Thank you to the very talented Bronwyn Coveney, from the United kingdom for volunteering her time and talent on behalf of children around the world. Bronwyn is the original visual creator of the PAAO and KAPAAO's,  Mascot Panda Abuzz. 
Memories of a Monster: A closer look at Parental Alienation
Using a storyline from an episode of Desperate Housewives, "Always in Control" (S08-Ep7), Joe Barrow walks us through the insidious brainwashing of a young daughter, Penny, by her mother, Lynette. When Lynette's ex-husband (Penny's father) begins dating a new woman and a relationship begins to flourish between the new girlfriend and their daughter, Penny, the mother is determined to drive a wedge between the loving relationship of her daughter has with her ex-husband, and the new girlfriend. Using a child as a pawn always has tragic consequences. The Parental Alienation tactics used and the manipulation by the mother mirrors the nightmarish reality that hundreds of thousands of parents and grandparents live through today. If you are dealing with this tragedy this mini -documentary will hit you, perhaps, too close to home. Watch in HD. Desperate Housewives is the property of Cherry Productions (Touchstone Television (2004-2007), ABC Studios (2007-2012), and DISNEY. No copyright infringement intended. This video may contain copyrighted material whose use has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are using this video to help raise awareness of Parental Alienation as a form of psychological child abuse. This video is not-for-profit use and for informational and educational purposes only and constitutes a 'fair use' of the copyrighted material as provided for in Section 107 of the US Copyright Law.We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of social issues of parental alienation as a form of emotional and psychological child abuse. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes.
Posted by Joe Barrow on Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Wednesday

"Nowhere in the judicial system is family advocated."


By "Family Courts", it should be clarified that it means all courts dealing in private family matters...ranging from actual "family" courts that adjudicate child visitation / support / custody, marriage / separation / nullity / dissolution to juvenile dependency courts, and in other instances, probate courts when the issues revolve around guardianship, conservatorship, stepparent adoption, etc.  Nowhere in the judicial system is family advocated...truly advocated. It simply does not...



Children's rights should include life with both parents. By Phyllis Schlafly Debates about same-sex marriage and gay adoptions always include the argument that a child has the right to both a father and a mother. .... If that is true, why is a child...
CAUSES.COM

Saturday

The President's Fatherhood Pledge




"I am a black man who grew up without a father, and I know the cost that I paid for that. And I also know that I have the capacity to break that cycle, and as a consequence I think that my daughters are better off…For me to have that conversation does not negate my conversation about the need for early childhood education, or the need for job training, or the need for investment in infrastructure or jobs in low-income communities." —President Obama at the Georgetown University #PovertySummit: go.wh.gov/pFJRQN
Posted by The White House on Tuesday, May 12, 2015


Fatherlessness is a growing crisis in America, one that underlies many of the challenges that families are facing. When dads aren't around, young people are more likely to drop out of school, use drugs, be involved in the criminal justice system, and become young parents themselves.
The President's Fatherhood Pledge 
President Obama grew up without his dad, and has said that being a father is the most important job he has. That's why the President is joining dads from across the nation in a fatherhood pledge — a pledge that we'll do everything we can to be there for our children and for young people whose fathers are not around.

Friday

ASSURING GENDER EQUALITY IN THE BEST INTEREST OF CHILDREN


ASSURING GENDER EQUALITY IN THE BEST INTEREST OF CHILDREN, INCLUDING PATERNITY AND TIME SHARING ASPECTS OF THE LAW.

Every man should be given the opportunity to succeed as an expectant, new and seasoned parent whether living at home or apart. With timely information, respectful guidance and fair and just legal counsel children will benefit from the love of a father.


Contact: Holly Zwerling, Fatherhood Task Force of South Florida - 305.812.4000


Community Partners Recognize the Importance of Fathers in Families Florida Senate Resolution 1392 and Florida House Resolution 9117
Workshops recognizing the importance of “Fathers in the know.” The more men know about fathering the more their children will benefit. Fathers should advocate for their children to secure their future. A Father’s engagement in all aspects of planning ahead for their child’s birth, being involved in their education as well as all aspects of childhood development helps secure their child’s welfare for a bright future.


The Fatherhood Task Force thanks our partners for providing the following free workshops during Fathers in Action & Advocacy Week. Open to fathers and families in various locations.


Sponsor:
Children’s Trust & Fatherhood Task Force Sponsorship


Moderators: Diana Ragbeer, Director of Public Policy & Community Engagement, The Children’s Trust and Holly Zwerling, CEO/President of the Fatherhood Task Force

Denying a child access to a fit, loving, capable, stable, secure parent that the child loves is ABUSIVE, IMMORAL, AND HURTFUL






Stand Up For Zoraya 

is the voice of the child

 Since January of 2009, we're happy to populate the Internet with information that is helpful, supportive, and conducive to fostering father-child relationships, reducing or eliminating Parental Alienation, for the betterment of our children's psychological and emotional health, and for the future health of our families and societies. In addition, Stand Up For Zoraya hopes to shed light on and reform an antiquated loopholes in our Legal Adversarial system in Family Law that degrades a father’s role. An 
Alienated Child and Targeted Parent are desperately trying to maintain a meaningful relationship despite unjust court intervention and vexatious and malicious family law litigation by opposing party. 

Please help if you can by making a small donation to:
Stand Up For Zoraya 10300 Sunset Drive, Miami, Florida 33173 305.270.7796

Stand Up For Zoraya


Saturday

Family Courthouse CLOSED - "NO Supervised Visits Will Occur" ~ Ms. Luz Ospina, Supervisor




Stand Up For Zoraya






Shared publicly  -  12:56 PM


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