Children's Rights: Music

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Tuesday

"Alienated children seem to have a secret wish for someone to call their bluff...

..., compelling them to reconnect with the parent they claim to hate."

The first installment of a three-part series examining (1) the impact of parental alienation on children, (2) the effects of parental alienation on parents, and (3) programs, services and interventions that combat alienation and seek to reunite estranged parents and their children.

What children of divorce most want and need is to maintain healthy and strong relationships with both of their parents, and to be shielded from their parents' conflicts. Some parents, however, in an effort to bolster their parental identity, create an expectation that children choose sides. In more extreme situations, they foster the child’s rejection of the other parent. In the most extreme cases, children are manipulated by one parent to hate the other, despite children’s innate desire to love and be loved by both their parents.

Parental alienation involves the “programming” of a child by one parent to denigrate the other “targeted” parent, in an effort to undermine and interfere with the child's relationship with that parent, and is often a sign of a parent’s inability to separate from the couple conflict and focus on the needs of the child. Such denigration results in the child’s emotional rejection of the targeted parent, and the loss of a capable and loving parent from the life of the child. Psychiatrist Richard Gardner developed the concept of "parental alienation syndrome" 20 years ago, defining it as, "a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrination and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent." Children’s views of the targeted parent are almost exclusively negative, to the point that the parent is demonized and seen as evil.

As Amy Baker writes, parental alienation involves a set of strategies, including bad-mouthing the other parent, limiting contact with that parent, erasing the other parent from the life and mind of the child (forbidding discussion and pictures of the other parent), forcing the child to reject the other parent, creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous, forcing the child to choose between the parents by means of threats of withdrawal of affection, and belittling and limiting contact with the extended family of the targeted parent. In my own research on non-custodial parents who have become disengaged from their children’s lives (Kruk, 2011), I found that most lost contact involuntarily, many as a result of parental alienation. Constructive alternatives to adversarial methods of reconnecting with their children were rarely available to these alienated parents.

Parental alienation is more common than is often assumed: Fidler and Bala (2010) report both an increasing incidence and increased judicial findings of parental alienation; they report estimates of parental alienation in 11-15% of divorces involving children; Bernet et al (2010) estimate that about 1% of children and adolescents in North America experience parental alienation.

Fathers and Daughters, their unique relationship, how they impact one another, and the issue that impact their relationship

PLEDGE TO

Bring awareness, celebrate, and support Father-Daughter Relationship Education

Invite Friends

HOW THIS WILL HELP?

Regularly remind your daughter that she is beautiful, and why Don’t just tell your daughter she is beautiful. Always remind her why she is…Read More

8 Practical Tips for Dads to Grow Strong Relationships With Their Daughters -

The Good Men Project

There is something special about the relationship between a father and his daughter. Brendan Malone gives some tips on how to make the most of that time. — I do not consider myself a parenting expert by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I generally tend to harbor a mild suspicion about people who are labeled as “parenting experts,”…Read More

Childrens Rights Florida Campaign leader

"A Father's Journey." In an epic eight-year battle the author continually sought to find his daughter. He was falsely accused,…Read More

We Have Your Daughter

We Have Your Daughter

"We Have Your Daughter" is the first in a series of three books called "A Father's Journey." In an epic eight-year battle the author continually sought to find his daughter. He was falsely accused, put into jail, prosecuted, and finally prevailed! Follow the journey and see how the story unfolds.Join the "We have Your Daughter"…Read More

AmericanFathers LiberationArmy Campaign leader

"Father - Pastor, Provider and Protector." ~ Fathers in the Field www.facebook.com/fathersinthefield

Whereas parents in general are not supported as parents by our social institutions, divorced fathers in particular are devalued,…Read More

Father Absence, Father Deficit, Father Hunger

Psychology Today

According to the 2007 UNICEF report on the well-being of children in economically advanced nations, children in the U.S., Canada and the U.K. rank extremely low in regard to social and emotional well-being in particular. Many theories have been advanced to explain the poor state of our nations’ children: child poverty, race and social class. A…Read More

The Right to be Heard

The right to be heard is a valuable right. What makes it valuable is both that there is a point to making one's views known and, further, that making one's views known makes a difference. It matters to me that I can speak out on political questions. It matters also, and probably more, if what I say leads to the changes I favour. Correlatively it is true both that I do not want to be silenced and that I do not want the statement of my views to be ineffectual. As a further general point it is clear that there will always be some issues on which it is more important that I be allowed to speak and that what I say about these issues carries weight in determining outcomes. Those are the issues that matter to me, and the more they matter the more important it is that I have the freedom to speak about them and be heard. On one account since children's views should not be ‘authoritative’, that is determinative of what is done, they have only a ‘consultative’ role (Brighouse 2003). They may influence an outcome by, most obviously, providing those who do make the decisions affecting a child's interests with a clearer picture of what in fact is in those interests. On another account encouraging and according a weight to the expression of children's views—even where this is unlikely to affect outcomes in line with the views' content—is valuable just because the child is capable of expressing a view and deserves to be listened to (Archard and Skivenes 2009).

How is it with the child's right to be heard? It will be important for the child to be listened to. But it is also important that the child is heard in the sense that her views are given due consideration and may influence what is done. Note that the child's right to be heard on matters affecting its own interests is a substitute for the liberty right to make one's own choices. The right to be heard is only a right to have the opportunity to influence the person who will otherwise choose for the child. The power to make those choices resides with the adult guardian or representative of the child. All the child retains is the right to try to motivate that adult to choose as the child herself would choose if she was allowed to.

"The Family" and Family Courts

Dr. Stephen Baskerville in Amsterdam at the 5th World Congress of Families

Dr. Baskerville presents a compelling argument for a paradigm shift globally to recognize the role of both fit parents in children's lives and a departure from the current trajectory toward the growing welfare state in western civilization.

By now the Committee on the Rights of the Child (“Committee”), which is charged with overseeing the implementation of the United Nations’ Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC), has made so many exaggerated claims of authority that they can’t even shock us anymore. Well, until they do.

Last month the Committee issued its review of CRC implementation by the Holy See, the political entity of the Vatican and the Roman Catholic Church. While the extreme leftist agend of the Committee has never been much of a secret, it is on display at its most egregious in this “Concluding Observations” report.

The key issues of “concern” for the Committee were as one might expect: abortion, teen sexuality, homosexuality (and homosexual marriage), corporal punishment (spanking), and parental rights. According to Catholic Church doctrine, abortion is the murder of an unborn child; sex is intended only within the confines of marriage; homosexual activity or lifestyle is a sin; a moderate spanking is – or can be - a part of godly discipline; and parents have the ultimate God-given responsibility for their children.

But the Committee disagrees on all points. What’s more, they communicated the expectation that the Catholic Church must change its stance on all of these topics to comply with the Convention. In so doing, the Committee placed its own opinion above the Scriptures, traditions, and religious convictions of the Catholic Church.

Make a difference and create a kinder and more peaceful world for ALL CHILDREN

#standupforzoraya

Alicia has released a new song, “We Are Here,” from a place of deep compassion. The song is inspired by her desire to make a difference and create a kinder and more peaceful world for ALL CHILDREN. Alicia is using her voice to reinforce her vision of an empowered global community in which all people are heard, respected, equal, and treated with dignity. She’s rallying fans (you!) and challenging you to raise your voices for the causes you believe in— because real change begins with all of us.

Alicia says, “It’s not about me, it’s about WE.” This is OUR world. And #WeAreHere.

The song debuts exclusively on Alicia’s Facebook today. Read more about Alicia’s inspiration for “We Are Here” in the message below:

Post by Alicia Keys.

Plenty of Parental Ingenuity

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I love this film about what it means to be a dad. Brought to you by Dove Men+Care – they nail it when it comes to defining what fatherhood feels like. Enjoy it. Then go tell a dad you love him.

Dove Men + Care Respect Dads

C.C. Chapman at C.C. Chapman

We need more brands to step up and show real dads in their commercials.

Parental Alienation Questions For Alienators

July 4, 2012 - WLYB…..Most “experts” wouldn’t make it ½ thru these questions THANK YOU LINDA

Questions for the alienator’s “expert” witness and/or the child’s individual therapist.

by Kids First - Children's Rights Activists (CRA)

By Linda J Gottlieb

In your professional opinion, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, what is the influence of parents on children prior to adolescence? (this should be a high #, and if not, the expert/therapist should be asked to justify a low # eg. who has the great influences.) 
And after adolescence? (this should be a relatively high # at least) 
Do you believe that parental conflict generally has an adverse effect on children and/or causes the child to react negatively in response? Please rate that effect on a scale of 1-10. (this should be a high #, as even the lay person would acknowledge the impact of parental hostility on children. If the expert doesn’t give a high #, he/she should be asked to justify the answer.) 
So you would (or would not---depending on prior answers) agree with Christopher Barden, PhD., JD., who has received 2 national research awards in psychology and a law degree with honors from Harvard Law school, when he stated, “There can be no credible controversy about the power of parents to influence children.” (The International Handbook of Parental Alienation Syndrome, p. 420)? 
Would you also agree with Barden when he stated that custody cases require “the critical obligation to carefully review the influence of parents, therapists or other adults on the attitudes, beliefs and memories of children.” (pp. 419-432)? 

Could you describe what some of these effects are? 
Can you give some examples as to how children get caught up in their parents’conflicts. 
You have just confirmed that you recognize the great influence of parents on children as well as the detrimental affects on children due to being exposed to the parental conflict. Yet I did not hear you express how you acquired your expertise in family dynamics. In fact, is it true that you are not licensed in your state of X as a Marriage and Family Therapist? 
Can you state what training in family dynamics you had in your education for your psychology degree? (I can confirm that they had no more than family therapy 101, IF they had that at all. The LMFT degree, in virtually all states, requires 60 credits, including 2 internships in the provision of family therapy services.) 
Are you aware of your X State’s criteria for obtaining this expertise and being qualified as a specialist for the licensing of a marriage and family therapist. How much of that criteria do you meet? 
So could you please state how you are qualified as an expert in assessing family dynamics as well as the adverse effects on children resulting from the dysfunctional parental dyad? 
What has been your experience in the treatment of families? 
What is the difference between individual therapy and family therapy? 
What % do you practice in family therapy and in individual therapy? 
How many families have you treated? 
How do you justify individual treatment of the child outside of assessing the influence of the parental conflicts on the child? 
Have you published books and/or articles on family therapy? 
Are the X children being reared in a family? 
Could the behaviors and reactions of the children in this case be indicative of being triangled into the parental conflicts? 
What causes the symptoms for which you are treating the X children? (Individual therapists will be unable to account for the causes of a child symptoms because there is no empirical evidence for the existence of intra-psychic or biochemical disorders. A family therapist, on the other hand, has much empirical evidence as a family's therapist can see how the child negatively reacts to the parents’ arguing when observing the family in the session.) 
What is your empirical evidence for the causes you have just expressed? 
Could you describe any parental interactions which have affected the children in this case? 
Do you know how the discipline of family therapy labels the family interactional pattern which puts children in the middle of the parental disputes? 
(It is called triangulation. Child psychiatrist, Murray Bowen, labeled it the “pathological triangle. ” Indeed, Bowen and was so convinced about the family’s role in creating and maintaining the child's symptoms, that when he hospitalized the child, he also hospitalized the entire nuclear family.) 
Are you aware, Dr. X, that the psychiatrist, Murray Bowen, was so convinced that the parents’ conflict and this triangulation was at the root of the child's symptoms so that when he hospitalized a child, he simultaneously hospitalized the entire nuclear family? 
Have you heard of child psychiatrist, Salvador Minuchin? (In 2007, he was rated by a research study of therapists as being one of the 10 most influential therapists in the history of psychotherapy. He has written more than 11 books on family therapy. There would not be even a single person trained in family therapy or child psychiatry who has not heard of him.) 
Do you know what Dr. Minuchin stated about the adverse effects of triangulation on children? (He asserted that it is the basis of virtually all dysfunctional family relationships adversely affecting children, and the concept of triangulation can be readily found in his book entitled, Family Therapy Techniques, 1981. Dr. M actually labeled this triangulation as a cross-generational alliance between the child and a parent who is in conflict with the other parent. This is the key interactional pattern in the PAS family.) 
So as you confirmed that the X children are being reared in a family, on what basis do you claim your expertise to justify making recommendations for the X children regarding their relationship with their targeted/alienated parent? 
You really don't have any expertise in family dynamics, do you, to make any assessments and recommendations for the X children and their parental relationships? 
You testified that the children in this case have reservations about, fear of, and hatred for their targeted/alienated parent. Can say with any certainty that they were not influenced by their other parent? 
How does the pathological triangle or family dynamics in this case influence what the children say and do? 
Do you believe that children the age of the X children are cognitively competent and emotionally mature enough to make decisions in their own best interests? 
What does Piaget state about the cognitive development of a child the age of: (give age of each child). ------Until the age of adolescence, children do not have the ability to think for themselves, and abstract thinking only begins at age 13. (Piaget wrote the bible on the development of epistemology in children as follows: 
0-2 sensorimotor 
2-7 preoperational 
7-12 concrete operational 
13-adulthood formal operational = abstract thinking. 
Given the immature level of these children's cognitive abilities, how do you distinguish the alienating parent’s influence on them their own ideas and feelings? 
Can you rule out with any certainty that the alienating parent is not influencing them adversely against their targeted/alienated parent? 
Have you observed the interactions between the children and their targeted/alienated parent? 
How can you diagnose for a relationship you have never or virtually never observed? 
Would a doctor recommend heart bypass surgery without having examined the heart? 
Should a child decide whether to go to school? To medical appointments? 
Would you say that deciding whether to have a relationship with a parent is as at least a significant decision as attending school or medical appointments? 
Then why should they decide on whether to visit a parent or to have a relationship with a parent? 
What specific examples did the child cite to justify the adverse opinions about and refusal to have a relationship with the targeted/alienated parent? (Generally these (experts) do not follow-up with questions for specific information. If they do, they an answer like “She/he lies. She/he is annoying, etc.” The expert should be questioned about her/his willingness to accept such frivolous rationalizations.) 
How reliable is client self reporting? (It is not at all, and we accept that as truth in the mental health profession.) 
Would it not be logical to conclude that the immature emotional and cognitive development of a child would make their reporting even less reliable? 
Do you know any research on the effects on children if a parent is not meaningfully involved in their lives?  
When a parent is significantly minimized and excluded from a child's life, what do you think children fill that emotional vacuum with?  
(Educate the “expert” about such research by using the statistics from Fatherneed and the SPARC statistics. A summary is in the PAS help file which I previously sent to anyone who had requested it.) 
Would you not then conclude that having a parent eradicated from a child's life leads to emotional distress and behavioral difficulties for the child? 
And if such eradication was facilitated, either consciously or unconsciously, by the other parent, would you not consider that to be emotional child abuse? 
Are you aware of any tactics the alienating parent/residential parent employed to interfere with the visits and/or relationship with the child and the targeted parent? (This is a case specific question and should be supported by documentation from the particular case by citing examples of the alienating behaviors.) 
You made reference to the alienator’s many allegations against the other parent. Do you have no independent verification of those allegations? You really don't, do you? 
Why would you accept such allegations carte blanche without independent verification? 
In your professional opinion, what would be the justification or motivations of the residential parent for not encouraging the relationship between the child and the other parent? 
Do you believe that children are generally healthier if 2 parents remained meaningfully in their lives? 
You have recommended that contact between the child and the nonresidential parent the only gradually reinstated? What is the research that supports this gradual reunification? (There is none! The propensity for the judicial system to only gradually reinstate visits is not supported by any research whatsoever.) 
How do you explain that children of military families and who never met their deployed parent, excitedly run to, hug, smile at their deployed parent when that parent returns home from deployment? 
Is it not true that it is because the caretaking parent talks up the deployed parent and enthusiastically encourages the child to greet the deployed parent explains it? 
Is it not also true that the psychological and instinctual need and desire to have a relationship with a parent is so overwhelmingly strong that children will easily accept meaningful involvement from a parent from whom they have been estranged? 
Do you accept the belief of your profession that mental health treatment is curative? 
What medical records of Mr. X did you examine? What was the timeframe of those records? 
So those records are not contemporaneous? 
Have you reviewed the affidavits and/or spoken to his former under care psychologist and psychiatrist when they discharged him from treatment in updating your impressions of Mr. H? 
Why not? 
You really have no idea as to the current status of Mr. Xs mental health, do you? 
What percentage would you say of mental health disorders are accurate with high probability and that the patient would receive the same diagnosis by several evaluators? 
So if a patient was tested for a medical problem, with all the tests that are given, such as MRIs, EKGs, bloodwork, urine analysis, etc, it would seem that the diagnosis would be pretty uniform by a variety of examiners? What tests are given for the diagnosis of a mental health disorder? 
The same consensus among mental health experts cannot be said about mental health disorders as for medical disorders, is that not correct? 
What is the empirical evidence for mental health diagnoses? 
What accounts for the discrepancy in the diagnoses given to Mr. X as well as the various estimates of his prognosis? 
In general, what accounts for the varying diagnoses that different mental health professionals will give to the same patient? 
Is the diagnosis of mental health disorders a science? 
You referred to Mr. X being given 18 different anti-depressant medications. Would that not possibly indicate that his diagnosis was uncertain and the medication had to be continuously changed for that reason? 
If a patient received an antibiotic for an infection, you would agree that there would be a high probability that the medication would be effective, correct? 
So why do antidepressants continually need to be changed? 
Could it be that mental health diagnoses are not accurate? 
What in your estimation accounts for the source of depression? 
What is the empirical evidence for the cause of depression? 
How do you make a differential diagnosis for the cause of depression between situationally caused v. bio-chemical or intra-psychic based. 
In your opinion, is it possible that the end of one’s marriage and being deprived of a relationship with one’s children could cause depression? 
If so, how would you determine that these circumstances do not account entirely for such a person’s depression. 
You really can't say with any certainty as to whether Mr. X was clinically depressed were situationally depressed, can you Dr.? 
Are you aware of his current functioning in his personal life? 
In his professional life? 
What do you really know about current mental health status? 
How much would you pay for today's appearance and for your report?

Linda J Gottlieb

Never give up, never retreat, and never, never surrender. GG  https://www.facebook.com/groups/ChildrensRightsFlorida/permalink/10151918394310457/

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