A self-censored chronicle of family court dramas, lived by parents who lost all or some visitation with or custody of a child or children based on perjury and/or other false courtroom evidence
I am a children's rights activist. I have watched my stepson go through torture from his own mother before the courts actually did anything about it.
His mother had TWO evaluations done that said exactly what kind of person she is, yet the judges refused to even look into this and continue to give her unsupervised visitations
Now, a new judge has taken the place of the other judge due to the old judge getting a promotion. This new judge has given the biological motherway more than what she deserves and has even stated that she has not done her homework on the case, but gives into this narcissistic persons demands.
If you were elected president, how would you fix the corruption in child custody areas?
Please remember our children are our future. If our children are mentally, psychologically, emotionally, etc. abused, how are they suppose to lead future generations?
In a world where absent fathers have become somewhat of a norm. Debrah Lewis provides viewers with some very insightful comments into why fathers might be absent throughout the life of their children. In this talk she outlines the role of the father in the childbirth process and the shortcomings of a system that does not offer fathers with opportunities to be fully engaged parents from birth to adulthood. We ask fathers to be involved in the life of their child, but deny them the right to be at the starting line, the birth. This talk asks to rethink the role of masculinity in the childbirth experience.
Debrah Lewis is the first Vice President of the International Confederation of Midwives from the Caribbean. After receiving an MSc in Nurse-Midwifery from Columbia University in 1986, she worked in New York as a public and private practice midwife and also volunteered in Africa. Lewis' leadership led to the formation of the Caribbean Regional Midwifery Association and the Trinidad and TobagoAssociation of Midwives. She is passionate about strengthening the network of midwives in the Caribbean and ultimately, the world.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
Over the past few decades, research has shown the importance of fathers to their children’s well-being. These studies show children in father-absent environments are almost four times more likely to live in poverty, are more likely to use drugs and alcohol, have significantly lower educational attainment, and are more likely to be sexually active.
Fatherlessness is associated with almost every societal ill facing our country’s children. How can you address the fatherlessness epidemic?
Civil Rights
Children in father-absent environments are also more likely to engage in juvenile delinquency, have higher risk of being victimized by crime including sexual assault and domestic violence, and are more than twice as likely to commit suicide.
Of course, kids do better with two parents actively involved in their lives. But,
many people still fail to understand the importance of fathers. According to research by Joan Berlin Kelly, 50% of mothers “see no value in the father’s continued contact with his children after a divorce.”
In light of this alarming statistic, it is perhaps not surprising that a study published by the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry found that “40 percent of mothers report that they had interfered with the noncustodial father’s visitation on at least one occasion, to punish their ex-spouse.”
A recent report by the Federal Administration for Children and Families describes a harmful phenomenon called “maternal gatekeeping,” in which mothers interfere with fathers’ access to their children. According to this report, “more than half of nonresident fathers offered accounts of gatekeeping behavior, ranging from refusing to grant physical access to making frequent last-minute schedule changes.
Gatekeeping also came in more indirect forms, such as refusal to communicate in person or by phone, withholding information from the father about the child, or berating the father.”
Motives for maternal gatekeeping vary. In some cases, mothers use children as a weapon and deny fathers access to their children as a way to punish them. In other cases, mothers use children for financial gain. According to the ACF report, “mothers would sometimes restrict access when a father failed to provide ‘extras’ over and above the required child support.”
It’s remarkable to me that Thompson cites the ACF report. It’s a fairly obscure work about which no one has commented in the mainstream press to my knowledge. I wrote three pieces on it and Thompson’s is the only other piece I know of. Good for her. She’s doing her homework.
Okay, so you’re the Dad. That means you want to be Mr. Generous, and you want to make sure your children have everything. Good for you.
But the best we can do for our children has very little to do with passing over the keys to a new car, hooking Jr. up with that fly pair of $200 sneakers, or making sure your offspring attend the finest schools. What loving fathers “do” is to provide a framework in which kids can grow up to be the very best young people they can possibly be. Our opportunity, as loving All Pro Dads, is to craft the kind of environment where such growth is possible. There’s a lot we can do – and the following “10 Things loving fathers do for their children” are a great place to start:
Loving fathers… love their children’s mother: This is huge – possibly the most beneficial intervention dads can do on behalf of their children. Love your wife without reservation - you can’t do much more for your kids than that.
Love them unconditionally: Make sure that your children know you love them “no matter what.” Don’t confuse this with permissiveness - unconditional love does nothing to encourage the wrong kind of behavior. In fact, kids who are secure in their father’s love tend to act out less, not more.
Grow up: We’re talking about the dads here, not the kids! Children don’t want another buddy - they want a dad. They want someone who thinks things through, makes tough decisions and engages life with responsibility – someone they can count on.
Be there: “Quality time” is all well and good… but it has nothing on quantity time. Make the time. Everyone has the same 24 hours available. Make yours count.
Provide:Just do it.
- A stable home
- Love and affection
- Material needs
- Presence
Discipline: Children appreciate an even hand, balance, accountability and love-drenched discipline. It’s called consistency, and without clearly defined boundaries, it is very difficult to grow up.
Value education: Don’t just read to them – read with them. Don’t just fuss about grades – get involved with their homework. Don’t just talk about learning – be a hands-on advocate
Raise them to leave: The simple goal of being a family, of parenting our children, doesn’t look any more complicated than this: raise them well equipped to leave home and to establish faithful lives.
Teach them to take responsibility: Kids who learn how to duck responsibility and avoid cost will – sooner or later – fall flat on their faces. Loving fathers make sure their children know how to own up, clean up, and move forward.
Teach them to love this life: The best predictor of happiness in children is happiness in their parents. If we learn how to love this life, and then give that blessing to our kids, then they will be well prepared for satisfaction
Originally appeared at CatholicCourier.Com (Regional paper for Catholic Diocese of Roches
Lyons man stands up for beliefs
(Publication Date: 09-03-2008)
By Jennifer Burke/Catholic Courier
Lyons resident John Murtari has been standing up for what he believes in for years, but those actions recently made him a minor celebrity in his hometown. Murtari is featured in "Support? System Down," a documentary recently produced and directed by actor Angelo Lobo. The film explores what Lobo sees as the flaws in America's child-support system. "Support" premiered in California this past spring, and the recently restored Ohmann Theater in Lyons hosted a special screening of the film Aug. 13. In November 2006 Lobo visited Murtari in prison, where Murtari was serving a six-month sentence for failure to pay child support. Murtari claims he fell behind in his child-support payments because the payment amounts were calculated based on an income level he no longer had. What little extra money Murtari did have was usually spent traveling across the country to visit his son Domenic, he said. "What am I supposed to do? I want to see my son," Murtari, who belongs to St. Michael Parish in Lyons, told the Catholic Courier. "He wasn't (physically or financially) hurting for anything, but he wanted Daddy." Murtari refused food or water while imprisoned and instead received his nourishment through a feeding tube inserted through his nose. He did so not to harm himself, but to protest what he called an unjust family-court system that he felt had wrongly taken away his son and sent him to prison, all without a jury trial. Murtari also has been arrested several times for writing on the ground in chalk "I love you, Dom" and "Senator Clinton, help us" outside the Federal Building in Syracuse in an attempt to draw Sen. Hillary Clinton's attention to his proposed Family Rights Act. "The idea is to get Congress to pass a Family Rights Act. Each state has different family law, and it's almost amazing to think that your relationship with your children could be governed differently in Alabama than here in New York," Murtari said. Murtari, founder of the nonprofit organization A Kids Right, has a draft of the proposed act on the organization's Web site, www.AKidsRight.org. The organization's members believe all parents should be presumed fit and equal parents unless the government can prove through a jury trial that they are a demonstrated threat to their children, and have demonstrated that with harmful intent. Only then should the government interfere with a parent's right to raise his or her child, according to the organization and the proposed legislation. "John Murtari is a voice for the many non-custodial parents who wanted to share their children equally. People will see why he not only went on a hunger strike for change, but also continues to peacefully protest for the rights of children to have both parents," Lobo said in a statement. Murtari, who hadn't seen the movie before the Aug. 13 screening, said he was pleased with the way Lobo told his story and the way the film educated people unfamiliar with the child-support and family-court systems. "It's always weird seeing yourself (on film)," Murtari said. "What really got me was the people from town who were there and said, 'Wow, I never knew (about the system)." Murtari said he himself had never known much about the child-support and family-court systems before his divorce, even though he'd always considered himself a politically aware man. When his ex-wife decided to move across the country with their 5-year-old son, however, he said the "gut-wrenching" experience inspired him to learn more about the system and how he might change it. He drew inspiration from the Gospels and from reading about the lives of St. Francis of Assisi, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi. Inspired by what these men were able to do through simple faith and nonviolent action, Murtari decided to follow their examples. "Nonviolent action doesn't mean writing letters. It's voluntary, loving self-sacrifice to show how deeply you believe in your cause," Murtari said. His nonviolent actions have landed him in jail more than once, but Murtari said he's seen some fruits from his labor. Once-hostile law-enforcement officers and court officials have begun treating him with respect, and he's full of hope that his actions can make a difference for families throughout the nation. "I could have easily descended into that bitterness and helplessness. Once I started taking these actions I felt better," Murtari said. "With faith you can lose that bitterness. When you're using that faith and sacrificing to make things better for others, you're going to feel better." EDITOR'S NOTE: To learn more about "Support? System Down," visit the film's Web site at www.SupportTheMovie.com.
The 'Family Court in Focus' event is tomorrow night! - Note: You don't need to bring your tickets, just yourselves and support to bring these issues back on the public and political agenda. We look forward to seeing you there.
The Family Court Is Badly Broken, And So Are The Parents -- At a recent meeting in a converted warehouse in inner-Sydney 30 or so people -- both men and women -- told stories of devastation and heartbreaking loss. In…HUFFINGTONPOST.COM.AU
Another year of children being forcibly separated from their fathers in secret courts.
Another year of fathers driven to suicide by the loss of their family and their barbaric treatment at the hands of our secret courts and the Child Support Agency.
Another year of broken promises from our politicians who scurry into hiding at the mere whisper of Fathers4Justice.
Another year of often willful ignorance, disinformation, bigotry and lazy prejudice in the media designed to malign a group whose sole aim is to ensure a child’s human rights to their fathers are enshrined – not abused behind closed doors.
No wonder they call this pitiful excuse for journalism the ‘lamestream’ media when we haven’t heard a single media outlet accurately report the facts.
Ian Douglas in today’s Telegraph writes “Fathers4Justice have just set back dads’ rights by decades.”
That’s an inflammatory accusation, so where is the evidence for his claim?
As the 2011 Norgrove report confirmed, fathers have no rights and should have no rights. 200 dads are losing contact with their children every day in secret courts by judges who sit under the Crown. Many of the legally binding court orders fathers have to see their children simply aren’t enforced. The CSA has reduced fathers to the status of sperm banks and cashpoints. (If Ian wants to read our fact sheet he can find it here )
We are a nation of first-class fathers, treated as second-class parents. And increasingly, many of us feel like outlaws in our own country.
As a result of this demonisation and denigration of fatherhood, millions of children will have little or no contact with their fathers this Father’s Day.
As the Centre for Social Justice said this week, up to 75% of children in inner cities live without their fathers in what they called ‘father deserts’.
So what do we do? Just sit back and do nothing?
Did Ian Douglas want us to engage with our political classes? If he had been paying attention he would know we spent five long years, engaged with the political establishment. For what? Ten broken Tory promises, and for just three MP’s out of 650 to turn up to the Shared Parenting meeting held by George Galloway MP in Parliament on Wednesday.
If journalists like Ian Douglas really cared about this issue, it shouldn’t have taken a man with a spray can sending a message to the Queen in Westminster Abbey for Father’s Day to make him write about it.
To that extent, Ian Douglas has proven this point, rather than made his. As far as I can see – he hasn’t written a single article about the family courts.
The media simply can’t help themselves. The coverage for our cause is at best grudging, maligning, loaded with disdain and insult. ‘Heavy handed’ said Channel 4 news earlier this week. But thus as it ever was.
Back in 1914, Ian Douglas would have been the journalist calling suffragist Mary Richardson ‘deranged’, accusing her of ‘setting back the cause of Women’s suffrage back by a decade’.
If Tim Haries had sprayed ‘help’ on a portrait of the Chinese Premier, he would have be a dissident hero celebrated by the West. God knows, if he had committed this act in Russia wearing a neon pink Balaclava and his underwear, Madonna would be singing about him and Angelina Jolie would have adopted him.
But the vision of our society has become so distorted and twisted, that our Prime Minister (who condemned dads on Father’s Day 2011) today says he wants the ‘Syrian opposition to succeed’ by violence, but says nothing about dads succeeding in their fight to see their children using peace and love.
The state have destroyed this man and his family in an act of capital punishment, and yet we expect him to do nothing. We have suffocated him, denied him any voice or representation in our country – by the very people who are the first to condemn him. Yet we expect him to comply, quietly, conveniently as the rest of society turns a blind eye to the national emergency that is mass fatherlessness.
I hope Ian Douglas doesn’t have any children and I hope his children don’t have any either. For his sake, statistically, the cancer of family breakdown will happen to him and when it does – when he can’t see his children or grandchildren
– I want to see how far he will go for his family.
I know I would do anything for my children. What would you do Ian?
As Martin Luther King Jr wrote fifty years ago in his letter from Birmingham Jail, “…though I was initially disappointed at being categorized as an extremist, as I continued to think about the matter I gradually gained a measure of satisfaction from the label. Was not Jesus an extremist for love? Will we be extremists for hate or for love?”
I am a children's rights activist. I have watched my stepson go through torture from his own mother before the courts actually did anything about it.
