Sunday
To a child, divorce can feel like a war zone.
Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. And many of those divorces involve children. The likelihood of legal battles among ex-partners who have children together is high. The children are caught in the middle of a volatile situation, and many times expected to take sides. Kids Need Both, Inc is a thriving non-profit agency based in Central Florida that offers State approved co-parenting classes, court ordered parenting classes, supervised visitation and child exchange. Classrooms are located in Lakeland, Casselberry and community centers throughout Central and South Florida. For more information you can give them a call at 888-310-6630 www.kidsneedboth.org To see more videos like this, go to the PGTV webpage at http://www.Polk-County.net/PGTV.
What is Suddenly Going On?
Parents (usually during or after divorce) caught up in the emotion of hatred for one another may target the ex-partner, their family and friends. When they use the children as weapons for their retaliation, this is a calculated crime of child abuse called Parental Alienation.
Children have a right to love both parents and their families. They should never be used in divorce war, much less, expected to join in on the assault against the other parent. When this happens, children suffer severe emotional and psychological trauma that they may never recover from.
We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.
Welcome to this resource for advocates, professionals and families experiencing high conflict relationships. We do our best to curate all information listed for accuracy and integrity. We offer a variety of courses and services for parents. Please make use of it and spread the word about our organization. If you can help us with events to fill our calendar, please let us know.
We are non-profit and do this out of our love of families just like you.
Kindly,
Danica Joan Fields, M.Ed, D.D.
Founder/Executive Director
Danica Joan Fields, M.Ed, D.D.
Founder/Executive Director
Kids Need Both, Inc shared a link.
Brigham Young University Associate Professor Justin Dyer explains how the focus of fatherhood research has evolved over the last century. Recent research has...
Advocacy Blog Links:
Healing Families in Crisis
KidsNeedBoth.org Blog
Parental Alienation and the Targeted Parent
For more information about the program, contact Danica Fields at (863) 420-KIDS or email her at info@KidsNeedBoth.org.
TheiCast (interactive webcast) is a service of Ripple Video and Web In Mulberry. Contact Joan Davies at joan@ripplevideoandweb.comor863-255-1109 for information.
DSM UPDATE - While
the terms; Parental Alienation or Parental Alienation Syndrome did not make it
into the DSM IV, not all is lost. Instead, what you will find is a discussion
regarding the 'Child/Parent Relational Problem' where the discourse surrounds
the cognitive issues of the problem that have the potential to include;
"negative attributions of the other's intentions, hostility toward or
scapegoating of the other, and unwarranted feelings of estrangement."
According to Dr. William Bernet, one of the proponents for the PA language
inclusion, "That's a pretty good description of a child's view of the
alienated parent. “ At the very least, what has been acknowledged here is the
conditions that must be present for alienation of one parent to occur. This is
similar to what Dr. Craig Childress calls the 'parental alienation dynamic'.
Same/same. All it really amounts to is the DSM IV acknowledging that these
behaviors can lead a child to have cognitive problems of feeling 'unwarranted
feelings of estrangement' towards what we call the 'target parent'.
:
We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.
Saturday
Alarming Rise Of False Allegations of Abuse
WHY IS THIS A CRITICAL ISSUE?
We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.
Denuncia que la agredieron familiares de su ex pareja y resultó ser un vecino
viso at CUSTODIA PATERNA - 19 hours ago
Sábado, 28 de Septiembre, 2013 El Juzgado de lo Penal ha condenado a una mujer a una multa como autora responsable de un delito de denuncia falsa en grado de tentativa después de que denunciara a dos familiares de su ex pareja de una supuesta agresión hacia ella y su hijo cuando en realidad había sido un vecino. La sentencia considera como hechos probados que el 8 de septiembre de 2010 fue remitido al Juzgado de Instrucción Número 4 de Palencia dos partes de lesiones confeccionados con fecha de 5 de septiembre de 2010 tanto de ella como de su hijo. Tras ser llamada a declarar en nov... more »
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No words exist to adequately describe what a father goes through when he gets divorced
A Committed, Divorced Father Story
No words exist to adequately describe what a father goes through when he gets divorced. He loses a wife who he had intended to spend the rest of his life with. He also usually loses his legacy by being removed from his own children. But he doesn’t have to and neither do you. You can do as much as you can given your limitations. Do your best to remain cordial with your ex and don’t talk about her negatively to your kids. This way you’ll gain greater access to your children. You may be able to call every night and read them a bedtime story. You can go to parent-teacher conferences. You can send cards to them and bring back souvenirs from trips you go on. You can attend their sporting events and ballet recitals. Whatever it is, your kids need you involved. You didn’t get a divorce from them. You’re their father. Forever. [Tweet This]
Here is one divorced dad’s story of all he had to overcome to be an All Pro Dad to his kids:
I am the father of seven wonderful children, four from a previous marriage (three boys and one girl) and three boys from my present marriage. During my first marriage, I would wrestle with thoughts of falling short as a father and going through a divorce only amplified those feelings. I cried myself to sleep many nights, and after dropping off the older children at their mother’s house after my times of visitation, I would not be able to go straight home and face the pain of no children to greet me.
I can understand why some non-custodial fathers move away from their children–not because they do not love their children but because of the pain and the emotional roller coaster they go through. It is their way of dealing with their pain or should I say their way of not dealing with it. I do not agree with this action, but I can understand their motivation.
In order to stay close to my children and remain involved in their lives, I turned down several promotional opportunities with my employer that would have moved me away from my children. After buying a home in the same school district as my older children and attempting to gain joint custody of my older children, my ex-wife moved to a small town 45 minutes away. At the time of this move, my older children were ages 7 – 13. Even though it was not that far away, it prevented joint custody from becoming possible and made it more difficult to see my children as often especially their school activities.
Six years later, my ex-wife moved seven hours away with the two youngest of the older children who were ages 13 and 12. (I live in Iowa and they moved to Indiana.) My oldest son had graduated from high school and the next oldest son lived with his best friend to finish his senior year. I was then only able to see my two children in Indiana one weekend a month, and due to the children’s school schedules, there were some months where I do not get to see them at all–unless I drove to Indiana and rented a hotel room for the weekend. I have missed out on their first dates, seeing them dress up as they go to events, such as Homecoming and Prom, and seeing them compete in athletic events. Not only has it made it difficult for me to maintain a relationship with my older children, but my three little boys sure miss their older siblings. (I have kept in contact via phone calls and emails, driving to Indiana a few times a year to watch them compete in a few track and cross country meets, and my regular scheduled visitations.)
Through all of this, my older children have turned out wonderfully. My oldest son joined the military immediately following 9-11, and saw combat with the 101st Airborne in both Afghanistan and Iraq before he received an honorable medical discharge for a non-combat injury in Iraq . He is now married and pursuing a degree in criminal justice. My second oldest son has lived with me for the past 3+ years while going to college, and our relationship has grown. My third oldest son graduated from high school last year with honors, is currently going through training to be an Army Ranger, and is planning on pursuing a medical degree after leaving the Army. My only daughter is in her junior year of high school, on the honor roll, and at this time, is planning on becoming a pediatrician.
They all love the Lord.My two children who moved to Indiana have told me more than once that they have friends who have divorced parents and hardly, if ever, see their fathers who live close by. They are amazed when my children tell them that I drive to Indiana to see them. Even though I have not been able to see my older children as frequently as I would like, my children and I are thankful for the relationship that we do have.
While divorce is difficult, I want to encourage others that you can remain close to your children if you commit to the time that it takes.
Related Resource: 12 Ways to of a Hands-On Parent
No words exist to adequately describe what a father goes through when he gets divorced. He loses a wife who he had intended to spend the rest of his life with. He also usually loses his legacy by being removed from his own children. But he doesn’t have to and neither do you. You can do as much as you can given your limitations. Do your best to remain cordial with your ex and don’t talk about her negatively to your kids. This way you’ll gain greater access to your children. You may be able to call every night and read them a bedtime story. You can go to parent-teacher conferences. You can send cards to them and bring back souvenirs from trips you go on. You can attend their sporting events and ballet recitals. Whatever it is, your kids need you involved. You didn’t get a divorce from them. You’re their father. Forever. [Tweet This]Here is one divorced dad’s story of all he had to overcome to be an All Pro Dad to his kids:I can understand why some non-custodial fathers move away from their children–not because they do not love their children but because of the pain and the emotional roller coaster they go through. It is their way of dealing with their pain or should I say their way of not dealing with it. I do not agree with this action, but I can understand their motivation.
In order to stay close to my children and remain involved in their lives, I turned down several promotional opportunities with my employer that would have moved me away from my children. After buying a home in the same school district as my older children and attempting to gain joint custody of my older children, my ex-wife moved to a small town 45 minutes away. At the time of this move, my older children were ages 7 – 13. Even though it was not that far away, it prevented joint custody from becoming possible and made it more difficult to see my children as often especially their school activities.
Six years later, my ex-wife moved seven hours away with the two youngest of the older children who were ages 13 and 12. (I live in Iowa and they moved to Indiana.) My oldest son had graduated from high school and the next oldest son lived with his best friend to finish his senior year. I was then only able to see my two children in Indiana one weekend a month, and due to the children’s school schedules, there were some months where I do not get to see them at all–unless I drove to Indiana and rented a hotel room for the weekend. I have missed out on their first dates, seeing them dress up as they go to events, such as Homecoming and Prom, and seeing them compete in athletic events. Not only has it made it difficult for me to maintain a relationship with my older children, but my three little boys sure miss their older siblings. (I have kept in contact via phone calls and emails, driving to Indiana a few times a year to watch them compete in a few track and cross country meets, and my regular scheduled visitations.)Through all of this, my older children have turned out wonderfully. My oldest son joined the military immediately following 9-11, and saw combat with the 101st Airborne in both Afghanistan and Iraq before he received an honorable medical discharge for a non-combat injury in Iraq . He is now married and pursuing a degree in criminal justice. My second oldest son has lived with me for the past 3+ years while going to college, and our relationship has grown. My third oldest son graduated from high school last year with honors, is currently going through training to be an Army Ranger, and is planning on pursuing a medical degree after leaving the Army. My only daughter is in her junior year of high school, on the honor roll, and at this time, is planning on becoming a pediatrician. They all love the Lord.My two children who moved to Indiana have told me more than once that they have friends who have divorced parents and hardly, if ever, see their fathers who live close by. They are amazed when my children tell them that I drive to Indiana to see them. Even though I have not been able to see my older children as frequently as I would like, my children and I are thankful for the relationship that we do have.
While divorce is difficult, I want to encourage others that you can remain close to your children if you commit to the time that it takes.
5 Ways to Use Technology to Bond with Your Children
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We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.
Sunday
Let's stop playing the gender blame game
A POLICY BASED ON EVIDENCE? LETS START WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Your editorial called for policy to be based on evidence. Let's start with policy on domestic violence. On December 5, 2011 the day before the annual anniversary of the Montreal massacre, the FREDA Centre at Simon Fraser University released a report, funded by the Justice Institute of British Columbia entitled 'Domestic Violence Prevention and Reduction in BC 2000- 2010.
The executive summary of the report took all of two paragraphs to define domestic violence as violence against women and then to "justifies the use of this term to reflect the language adopted by provincial policy without losing the gendered language of feminist scholars".
These "feminist scholars" have sold us a bill of goods. In November of 2011, Daphne Bramham wrote an article on domestic violence claiming that half of all BC women had been either physically or sexually assaulted and that only 8% of domestic violence victims are male ( elderly or disabled males as she put it).
Both the report and her article misrepresent domestic violence in crucial ways that influence our currently ineffective response to the problem. Domestic violence statistics are often inflated from government systems. Criminal justice statistics of domestic violence reflect not only true rates but also systematic biases in the way the police handle and subsequently record domestic violence.
Women are ten times more likely than men to call the police for domestic violence intervention (1) and far more likely to get a police response, including arrest (2). Hence, it appears from police statistics that men are the most frequent perpetrators. The reality is that when large sample victim surveys ask about domestic violence , the stereotype of the male as a perpetrator/bully and the female as hapless victim is not supported by the data.
Surveys from 1989 to 2007 keep finding the same thing; that women perpetrate domestic violence (including severe domestic violence) at least as much as men (3) and the most common form of domestic violence is two -way- both partners assault each other at the same level of severity.(4 5) Women are hurt somewhat more but only somewhat- men get hurt too for the obvious reason that everyday weapons get used, knives, frying pans, and boiling water, amongst other things(6) Here's another surprise, according to a recent survey by the Center for Disease Control, "husband battering" (where the woman uses severe violence against a non-violent man) is three times more common than wife battering(7).
Stats Can surveys also find gender equality in domestic violence perpetration and victimization rates (which they put at 1.3% per year) (4,8) . Controlled studies find that the same action is viewed differently by research subjects when the genders of the perpetrator and victim are varied.(9,10) If a man does it (for example- asks his wife where she has been) it is seen as abuse or control. If a woman does it, it's not. These results are found whether the research subjects are the general public or professional psychologists.
When the first shelter for battered men was set up in New Hampshire, the men reported that when they had called local women's shelters to ask for help they were told that they were the real batterers. All of these men had been injured, many were severely injured (11). When a spousal homicide occurs, the media asks the head of a local women's shelter why it happens. She will inevitably describe it as another example of violence towards women. When Marc Lepine killed women in a mass shooting in Montreal, it was presented as an example of male violence towards women. When Denis Lortie killed people in the Quebec Assembly the year before, he was simply a madman. The truth is, they were both psychotic.
The gender paradigm that shapes our views on domestic violence is pervasive and affects everything from police responses to custody decisions in family court (12). The problem is the scientific data do not support the gender paradigm beliefs- they were just a political theory that was wrong when it was written and is even more askew in the present.
We could improve our response to domestic violence by focusing more on prevention programmes and dropping the current government sanctioned discrimination that allows only women into shelters. Many abusive couples would benefit more from marriage counselors than the so called ineffective "psychoeducational" programmes currently in use.
Time for a change!
FROM: Prof-Don Dutton -- TO: The Editor, Vancouver Sun
Don Dutton is a professor of psychology at the university of British Columbia.
Friday
"Family Court is a bizarre system that encourages parents to use disturbing tactics."
Childrens Rights Florida campaign leader
Ron B Palmer is the President and founder of Fix Family Courts. He has passionately dedicated many hundreds of hours to researching state and federal appellate court decisions on family law matters. He routinely distills this information into powerful arguments for the protection of parental rights which he believes is necessary to protect children. He firmly believes that children are best protected and nurtured by having two fit parents in their lives who each have equal parental authority regardless of their marital status. He believes this is true even though some small percentage of parents harm their children.
As an entrepreneur and mother of 5 Sherry graduated with a bachelor’s degree from the University of North Texas in proposal writing from the college of community service at the University of North Texas before co-founding Fix Family Courts with her husband and partner, Ron B Palmer. Sherry has twice in her life had to face down oppressive court systems trying to harm her life. First as a young child growing up in the streets of California she had to fight judges and state bureaucrats simply to remain in her normal public school classes where she was excelling in spite of her living conditions. Second as a mother facing divorce and a court system seeking to take her children from her for no reason whatsoever. While her two oldest children aged out and were taken from her through alienation, she was able to stop the system from stealing her younger two.
Amendment | Fix Family Courts
Fix Family Courts - Because getting divorced shouldn't mean losing your child
(1) Fit parents are entrusted by nature or the State with determining the best interests of their minor child and must be assumed to be acting in their child’s best interests unless proven unfit (2) Each fit parent has the equal right and duty to direct and control their minor child’s education, to include educating the minor child through personal example, which arises through routine parenting of the child. The child has a right to receive education from each parent equally. These rights are among the penumbra of individual First Amendment rights. (3) Fit parents hold equal rights and duties in the care, custody, control, and physical possession of the minor child. Any conflict between these rights must be resolved in as equal a manner as possible. (4) Fit parents may entrust certain of these rights to others as they see fit without forfeiting their rights. Read More~>www.fixfamilycourts.com/amendment
Fix Family Courts - Because getting divorced shouldn't mean losing your child
(1) Fit parents are entrusted by nature or the State with determining the best interests of their minor child and must be assumed to be acting in their child’s best interests unless proven unfit (2) Each fit parent has the equal right and duty to direct and control their minor child’s education, to include educating the minor child through personal example, which arises through routine parenting of the child. The child has a right to receive education from each parent equally. These rights are among the penumbra of individual First Amendment rights. (3) Fit parents hold equal rights and duties in the care, custody, control, and physical possession of the minor child. Any conflict between these rights must be resolved in as equal a manner as possible. (4) Fit parents may entrust certain of these rights to others as they see fit without forfeiting their rights. Read More~>www.fixfamilycourts.com/amendment
The Proposed Parental Rights Amendment to the United States Constitution
Section 1
The liberty of parents to direct the upbringing and
education of their children is a fundamental right.
Section 2
Neither the United States nor any state shall infringe upon
this right without demonstrating that its governmental interest as applied to
the person is of the highest order and not Neither the United States nor any
state shall infringe upon this right without demonstrating that its
governmental interest as applied to the person is of the highest order and not
otherwise served.
Section 3
No treaty may be adopted nor shall any source of
international law be employed to supersede, modify, interpret, or apply to the
rights guaranteed by this article.
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Florida
today became the fifth state to pass a resolution calling on the U.S. Congress
to propose to the states for ratification the Parental Rights Amendment to the
U.S. Constitution. The Florida Senate voted 38-0 in favor of SM 954 this
morning, after the Florida House passed its companion (HM 557) by a voice vote
on Tuesday.
Visit us and scroll over the interactive map to find out if your state might be
home to the next Parental Rights resolution.
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