Four men, one calling: To serve and protect. When tragedy strikes home, these men are left wrestling with their hopes, their fears, their faith, and their fathering. Protecting the streets is second nature. Raising their children in a God-honoring way? That's courageous.
War Room, the brand-new Kendrick Brothers movie, is now in theaters! Alex Kendrick and T.C. Stallings are both back from...
Posted by Courageous Movie on Friday, August 28, 2015
#StandUpForZoraya #ILoveAndNeedMyDaughter #EndParentalAlienation |
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How did you know when you were a man? Was your dad part of the process? If he wasn't, do you wish he had been?
These are deep and powerful questions, and for fathers of sons, they should lead us to consider our role to provide those rites of passage. More than anyone else, our boys look to us to signal that they're growing and maturing in significant ways, and even more, that we're proud of them as they go through the process.
There are some great resources available to guide you through rite-of-passage experiences with your boys (see below) -- and some for daughters. The main idea is to be intentional and purposeful.
Just to give you some ideas, here are four topics I discussed with my son when he was thirteen. Each of these is worthy of its own in-depth conversation, but
I'll provide some brief thoughts:
1. Give him information about physical and emotional changes. He needs your insights about how his body is changing and some of the emotions that often come with it. Many boys are preoccupied with living up to measures of masculinity that they perceive out there. They have questions like, "Are these changes normal?" "Am I strong enough?" "Can I be a man even if I'm not very athletic?" And as you know, they're starting to ask their own questions about sex.
2. Answer those questions about sex -- the "facts of life" a young man needs to know. You'll probably be surprised at how much he already knows. I sure was. Be honest and factual about the physical aspects, but also include what you believe regarding the moral and spiritual side. How should he handle that desire? Give him specific strategies he can use. Shoot straight about the things he could see on TV, in movies and online. Some things might seem fulfilling at first, but what really leads to lasting fulfillment? Make it clear that he's accountable for his behavior -- accountable to his own future, to his future wife, to his parents, and to all the young women he will date. If you're a man of faith, tell him that he's ultimately accountable to God, and that there are great benefits to following that path.
3. Insist on respect for women. Set expectations for how women should be thought of and treated. They are not to be appreciated only for their appearance, but rather valued for their fascinating character, their integrity, and the feminine qualities that complement and complete our masculine approach. So, how should that show up in his actions -- toward women in general and including his mother and sisters? And dad, since your modeling is key in this area, encourage him to call you out whenever you forget to hold a door open or you miss out on other opportunities to show respect and thoughtfulness.
4. Ask for his trust. As I gave my son a vision for what Dad expects of him as a young man, I also recognized that the teen years can be challenging for parents and children. He's going through some big and scary changes, and he has a father who's far from perfect. So I also told him, "Son, no matter what, you can trust your mom and pop. You can trust your dad. Come to us. Ask us about any situation." I hope he will, and in the meantime, I'm doing everything I can to maintain a strong relationship, so he feels safe to come to me about anything.
Those are the things I shared. Adapt them to your own approach. And as I wrote earlier, make the most of your opportunities during your son's transition to manhood. Be there to coach him. Don't let significant events in your son's life go unnoticed. Don't leave him wondering what a man is and whether he measures up.
ACTION POINTS
- Give your son new privileges -- and responsibilities -- that correspond with his maturity level.
- With teenage sons, create opportunities for "sideways" conversations. He's more likely to open up when you're working on a project together, shooting hoops, running errands, or doing something he enjoys.
- Talk with him about the true characteristics of manhood. Point out examples of people who are getting it right … or who are missing the mark.
- Remember, this not a one-time event. These rite of passage moments should happen continually along the journey. Keep pouring out good words, sincere praise and high expectations into your son's developing character
- Join our efforts to help promote the Courageous movie. There are resources and links you can use at www.fathers.com/courageous.
We want to hear from dads all across the world, so we’ve been asking for your feedback. If you haven't taken our latest survey, please take one minute and let us know your thoughts. (Seriously ... it will only take one minute. The survey is just two questions long!)
http://support.fathers.com/site/MessageViewer?em_id=32021.1&printer_friendly=1
"I took my parents to see this movie and WOW. We were completely Awestruck. We left the theater speechless only enabled to utter one word over and over again: WOW. What a Powerful message that leaves you overflowing with Joy and Happiness. I totally recommend this movie for everyone, especially families! WOW."
Rarely do you walk out of a movie with strong feelings of conviction in any form, much less 'stepping up your game' to be a better father. Take advantage of a rare opportunity ... be courageous: take a friend to see Courageous."
Thank you for this beautiful movie
ReplyDeletePRO SE RIGHTS:
ReplyDeleteSims v. Aherns, 271 SW 720 (1925) ~ "The practice of law is an occupation of common right."
Brotherhood of Trainmen v. Virginia ex rel. Virginia State Bar, 377 U.S. 1; v. Wainwright, 372 U.S. 335; Argersinger v. Hamlin, Sheriff 407 U.S. 425 ~ Litigants can be assisted by unlicensed laymen during judicial proceedings.
Conley v. Gibson, 355 U.S. 41 at 48 (1957) ~ "Following the simple guide of rule 8(f) that all pleadings shall be so construed as to do substantial justice"... "The federal rules reject the approach that pleading is a game of skill in which one misstep by counsel may be decisive to the outcome and accept the principle that the purpose of pleading is to facilitate a proper decision on the merits." The court also cited Rule 8(f) FRCP, which holds that all pleadings shall be construed to do substantial justice.
Davis v. Wechler, 263 U.S. 22, 24; Stromberb v. California, 283 U.S. 359; NAACP v. Alabama, 375 U.S. 449 ~ "The assertion of federal rights, when plainly and reasonably made, are not to be defeated under the name of local practice."
Elmore v. McCammon (1986) 640 F. Supp. 905 ~ "... the right to file a lawsuit pro se is one of the most important rights under the constitution and laws."
Federal Rules of Civil Procedures, Rule 17, 28 USCA "Next Friend" ~ A next friend is a person who represents someone who is unable to tend to his or her own interest.
Haines v. Kerner, 404 U.S. 519 (1972) ~ "Allegations such as those asserted by petitioner, however inartfully pleaded, are sufficient"... "which we hold to less stringent standards than formal pleadings drafted by lawyers."
Jenkins v. McKeithen, 395 U.S. 411, 421 (1959); Picking v. Pennsylvania R. Co., 151 Fed 2nd 240; Pucket v. Cox, 456 2nd 233 ~ Pro se pleadings are to be considered without regard to technicality; pro se litigants' pleadings are not to be held to the same high standards of perfection as lawyers.
Maty v. Grasselli Chemical Co., 303 U.S. 197 (1938) ~ "Pleadings are intended to serve as a means of arriving at fair and just settlements of controversies between litigants. They should not raise barriers which prevent the achievement of that end. Proper pleading is important, but its importance consists in its effectiveness as a means to accomplish the end of a just judgment."
NAACP v. Button, 371 U.S. 415); United Mineworkers of America v. Gibbs, 383 U.S. 715; and Johnson v. Avery, 89 S. Ct. 747 (1969) ~ Members of groups who are competent nonlawyers can assist other members of the group achieve the goals of the group in court without being charged with "unauthorized practice of law."
Picking v. Pennsylvania Railway, 151 F.2d. 240, Third Circuit Court of Appeals ~ The plaintiff's civil rights pleading was 150 pages and described by a federal judge as "inept". Nevertheless, it was held "Where a plaintiff pleads pro se in a suit for protection of civil rights, the Court should endeavor to construe Plaintiff's Pleadings without regard to technicalities."
Puckett v. Cox, 456 F. 2d 233 (1972) (6th Cir. USCA) ~ It was held that a pro se complaint requires a less stringent reading than one drafted by a lawyer per Justice Black in Conley v. Gibson (see case listed above, Pro Se Rights Section).
Roadway Express v. Pipe, 447 U.S. 752 at 757 (1982) ~ "Due to sloth, inattention or desire to seize tactical advantage, lawyers have long engaged in dilatory practices... the glacial pace of much litigation breeds frustration with the Federal Courts and ultimately, disrespect for the law."
Sherar v. Cullen, 481 F. 2d 946 (1973) ~ "There can be no sanction or penalty imposed upon one because of his exercise of Constitutional Rights."
Schware v. Board of Examiners, United State Reports 353 U.S. pages 238, 239. ~ "The practice of law cannot be licensed by any state/State."