Parent and child estrangement as a result of a highly conflictual parental relationship...

Dear Lawyer for the Child:

Without an authorization to release protected health information on a specific case, I am providing my professional insights regarding children caught in conflict between their parents. Specifically, I am providing generic information about situations when there is an estrangement between a parent and child as a result of a highly conflictual parental relationship.

The child of a high conflict parental relationship frequently feels like a rope in a tug of war between his parents.

Asking the child to decide about her/his relationship with the non-custodial parent exacerbates this impossible and detrimental situation and leaves her/him with no good options: it is a double-bind situation in which she/ he cannot have both parents because she/he knows that seeking a relationship with the non-custodial parent will be perceived as an act of betrayal by the custodial parent. When this dynamic had been first observed by the child psychiatrists who later founded the family therapy movement, they documented it on the psychiatric ward when observing their psychotic child patients when an interaction with their families.

In the extreme situation, this family dynamic, labeled by these psychiatrists as the “pathological triangle,” as per Murray Bowen, does indeed lead to serious mental disorders in the child. I have seen the serious detrimental effects to children in my own practice as a result of the triangulation. Unfortunately, due to the influences that technology has now afforded the younger population, I am seeing socio-pathology instead of psychosis in this population.

We have an obligation to help these children resolve their anger by working it through with both of their parents.

Published on Nov 27, 2012 by lawlessamerica

Congressional Testimony: Joan Teresa Kloth Zanard to Bill Windsor of Lawless America.

Family Law Reform Congressional Testimony - Linda Gottlieb, L.M.F.T., L.C.S.W.

The campaign of denigration is an example of the construction of family myths which are used for the purpose of turning a child against a previously loved and loving parent. The child is programmed to believe that her/his other parent is: worthless, selfish, unloving, malevolent, undeserving, and dangerous, etc. The effective result is that the child becomes convinced that she/he will be happier, healthier, and better adjusted if the targeted parent is eradicated from her/his life. At the orchestration by the alienating parent, the alienated child adopts the following feelings, wishes and behaviors regarding the alienated/targeted parent: 

Examples of the denigrating behaviors are listed below and are not inclusive:

1) Refusing and/or shunning visits with the rejected parent for no justifiable

reason.

2) Behaving miserably and disrespectfully, sometimes abusively, towards the

rejected parent when there is any contact—even in reunification therapy.

3) Depriving the rejected parent of important information including but not

limited to medical, educational, and social activities. Telling the rejected

parent that she/he is not entitled to have this information. Not consulting or

collaborating with the targeted parent in these important aspects of the child’

s life.

4) Not informing about and excluding the rejected parent from activities, parent/teacher conferences, birthdays, religious events, graduations, etc.

5) Belittling, criticizing, and deprecating the rejected parent.

6) Removing of pictures and all memorabilia of the rejected parent.

7) Failing to communicate with the rejected parent. This contact includes the

telephone, text messaging, e-mailing, Skype, or other methods.

8) Verbally and physically abusing the rejected parent by the child and/or

alienating parent—even in public locations and at the child’s activities and

events.

9) Defying the rejected parent's supervision and authority.

10) Refusing and/or returning the rejected parent's gifts, cards, vacation

opportunities, and offers for help, counseling, and guidance.

11) Making false allegations of child abuse and/or domestic violence.

12) Amnesia about and denial of a loving and supportive relationship with the

rejected parent prior to the onset of the alienation.

13) Not contacting the rejected parent to wish her/him happy birthday, happy

father’s day/mother’s day, or happy holidays on other occasions. Of

course, visit refusal on the rejected parent’s special day

14) Making the rejected parent like a persona non grata in the child’s life

To a child, divorce can feel like a war zone.

Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. And many of those divorces involve children. The likelihood of legal battles among ex-partners who have children together is high. The children are caught in the middle of a volatile situation, and many times expected to take sides. Kids Need Both, Inc is a thriving non-profit agency based in Central Florida that offers State approved co-parenting classes, court ordered parenting classes, supervised visitation and child exchange. Classrooms are located in Lakeland, Casselberry and community centers throughout Central and South Florida. For more information you can give them a call at 888-310-6630 www.kidsneedboth.org To see more videos like this, go to the PGTV webpage at http://www.Polk-County.net/PGTV.

Center for Education on Parental Alienation

What is Suddenly Going On?

Parents (usually during or after divorce) caught up in the emotion of hatred for one another may target the ex-partner, their family and friends. When they use the children as weapons for their retaliation, this is a calculated crime of child abuse called Parental Alienation.

Children have a right to love both parents and their families. They should never be used in divorce war, much less, expected to join in on the assault against the other parent. When this happens, children suffer severe emotional and psychological trauma that they may never recover from.

We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.

Welcome to this resource for advocates, professionals and families experiencing high conflict relationships. We do our best to curate all information listed for accuracy and integrity. We offer a variety of courses and services for parents. Please make use of it and spread the word about our organization. If you can help us with events to fill our calendar, please let us know.

We are non-profit and do this out of our love of families just like you.

Kindly,
Danica Joan Fields, M.Ed, D.D.
Founder/Executive Director

Kids Need Both, Inc

1 week ago

Kids Need Both, Inc shared a link.

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Advocacy Blog Links:

Healing Families in Crisis

KidsNeedBoth.org Blog

Parental Alienation and the Targeted Parent

For more information about the program, contact Danica Fields at (863) 420-KIDS or email her at info@KidsNeedBoth.org.

TheiCast (interactive webcast) is a service of Ripple Video and Web In Mulberry. Contact Joan Davies at joan@ripplevideoandweb.comor863-255-1109 for information.

DSM UPDATE - While the terms; Parental Alienation or Parental Alienation Syndrome did not make it into the DSM IV, not all is lost. Instead, what you will find is a discussion regarding the 'Child/Parent Relational Problem' where the discourse surrounds the cognitive issues of the problem that have the potential to include; "negative attributions of the other's intentions, hostility toward or scapegoating of the other, and unwarranted feelings of estrangement." According to Dr. William Bernet, one of the proponents for the PA language inclusion, "That's a pretty good description of a child's view of the alienated parent. “ At the very least, what has been acknowledged here is the conditions that must be present for alienation of one parent to occur. This is similar to what Dr. Craig Childress calls the 'parental alienation dynamic'. Same/same. All it really amounts to is the DSM IV acknowledging that these behaviors can lead a child to have cognitive problems of feeling 'unwarranted feelings of estrangement' towards what we call the 'target parent'.

Guys With Kids (Important Discussion):

Dwyane Wade’s Custody Dispute a Classic Case of Parental Alienation - Fathers & Families

We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.

Post by Parental Alienation Awareness Organization - PAAO.

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• The Alienating Parents' Tool Of Choice
• Are Some Divorcing Parents Brainwashing Their Children?
• PLAN™ Takes a Stand Against Parental Alienation | Parent League and Advocacy Network, U.A.
• Judicial Accountability for Court Ordered Parental Alienation
• Junk Science and the Real Parental Alienation in Family Court That Nobody Talks About

Why Targeted Parents Lose In Family Court

Post by Stop Mental Child Abuse.

"In the best interest of the children."

More often than anyone knows, lawyers, guardian ad litem's, doctors (other mental health professionals ) sometimes even parent coordinators become involved in dishonest, one-sided favoritism to end custody disputes. I noticed it wasn't isolated, it was a pattern and the professionals were siding with the parent abusing the child.

I have discovered that there is an undermining of the legal process going on but it's difficult to detect. Every time I'd come across it, I would ask with disbelief, "why ?" That's a question I found no answer to for a very long time.

In some of my case investigations, I found a strong bias from professionals against the Targeted Parent ( T.P. ). {1.} That was a shocking revelation to me.

I work exclusively in cases involving Parental Alienation. This is a problem that will surface in the most difficult kind of family law case's. I'm a consultant in hostile custody disputes. The parents are constantly at war over visitation and many other kinds of shared custody issues. The parental alienation becomes a medical problem for the children caught in the middle.