A self-censored chronicle of family court dramas, lived by parents who lost all or some visitation with or custody of a child or children based on perjury and/or other false courtroom evidence
Three quarters of dads say they are responsible for their child's emotional well-being, while only 20% of dads see this role reflected in media. It's time to acknowledge the caring moments of fatherhood that often go overlooked.
This Father's Day, share the "Calls For Dad" film to celebrate with a dad in your life.
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Source: 2014 Dove Men+Care Dad Portrayal Study
The Father's Rights Movement is not anti-mom, anti-woman, and/or anti-gay. We are ANTI-UNFAIRNESS!
We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.
But that due process will be decided on a case-by-case basis.
Should a child be granted the right to an attorneywhen his parents are accused of abuse or neglect?
Most states say the answer is yes, but in Washington dependency courts, it's been a matter of debate for years. Everyone agrees a lot is at stake: Children can lose not only their parents and their home, but also be separated from their siblings, their aunts and uncles, their school, their friends. They could bounce from one stranger's home to another in foster care.
The state Supreme Court took a big step toward answering that question in a 9-0 decision Thursday. Foster children "have vital liberty interests at stake and may constitutionally be entitled to counsel," JusticeTom Chambers wrote for the court.
Advocates believe the ruling will alter the landscape of dependency court, leading judges to appoint attorneys for more and more of the thousands of children entering the system. The state, which argued against the blanket appointment of lawyers, doesn't anticipate such a sea change.
The ruling came in the case of Nyakat Luak, a King County mother who was accused of serious neglect. In one instance, she went to work and left her 4-year-old twins at home, in charge of their baby sister, the court said. A fire broke out and a social worker took them into custody. Luak physically attacked the social worker as she escorted the kids from the hospital. On other occasions, she attacked a visitation supervisor and her boyfriend.
The courts never found that Luak had abused the kids. Yet when the Department of Social and Health Services told her she was at risk of losing them unless she underwent counseling, she declined, the opinion states. Her parental rights were terminated at trial.
On appeal, Luak's attorney argued that the kids, who were 10 by the time of the trial, should have had a court-appointed attorney.
Under Washington law, kids 12 and older must be told they have a right to ask for an attorney. (It's up to the judge to decide whether to appoint one.) Younger kids generally aren't given this option, although each county has its own rules.
Some 9,000 children are in foster care at any given point, according to attorney Casey Trupin, who wrote one of 20 friend-of-the-court briefs in the case. Yet no one keeps track of how many of them get lawyers.
Sometimes, a judge will appoint a Guardian ad Litem or a lay advocate to argue for what they believe are the child's best interests. A statewide group studying the issue several years ago found some children who are removed from their homes don't have anyone — attorney, Guardian ad Litem or lay advocate — to speak for them in court.
The Supreme Court for the first time recognized that children have "at least the same due process right to counsel as do indigent parents," Thursday's ruling states.
But that due process will be decided on a case-by-case basis, according to the opinion, which lays out for the first time criteria to guide trial-court judges.
"We do think as a result of this decision more and more parents, attorneys and judges will raise the issue, given the court has confirmed constitutional rights may be at stake," Trupin said.
Maureen O'Hagan: 206-464-2562 or mohagan@seattletimes.com
I disagree that this is a "big step" or even any progress at all. The existi... (March 2, 2012, by mihusky)This is a tricky one. I can see the downside of now having hordes of lawyers in the cou... (March 2, 2012, by Dorboln)This actually makes sense. Somebody should be there to represent the children's best... (March 1, 2012, by Almost a Libertarian)
Divorced Parents: Kids Should Decide Where They Live/Custody
Divorce can be ugly, but it doesn't have to be ugly for the kids.
Parents who are divorcing often get sucked into a nasty competition when it comes to the kids, with each parent vying for custody of the kids. Of course, both parents often want to keep the kids with them, which frequently results in joint custody. Once the arrangement is set, the kids shuffle between Mom's and Dad's respective houses, while the parents often avoid asking the kids what they want to do or with whom they want to live.
Well, the truth is that there are endless misconceptions about divorce and its effect on kids. Many people feel that divorce is psychologically harmful for kids, though the research - and I'm referring to Judith Wallerstein's research, in particular - actually shows that divorce does not harm children over the long-term unless other factors come into play. For example, divorced parents who maintain a bitter relationship post-divorce and talk badly about each other to the kids can cause kids major anxiety and distress. But aside from such instances, there are many things that divorced parents can do to limit the harm caused to the kids.
One thing divorced parents can do is make an ongoing effort to check in with the kids about how they feel about the assigned living arrangements. While children are young (10 years or younger), joint custody can provide an important reminder to the kids that their parents still love them and will both remain a fundamental part of the kids' lives. Yet the problem often starts when the kids get a little older.
Once kids reach the puberty years, they start to have a more active social life. During this time, kids start to develop the beginnings of an adult identity, and they start to make some of their own decisions. As they reach adolescence, kids of divorced parents understandably want more control over their environment, including where and with whom they live. Plus, as kids get older, the homework increases and their extracurricular activities become more involved. In other words, gathering all their stuff (books, notebooks, special articles of clothing, sports equipment, etc.) and dragging everything from one house to the other gets difficult. If a child in this situation doesn't particularly want to live with one of the parents, the child will become resentful and the resentment will manifest in a variety of acting-out behaviors.
If you are a parent who shares joint custody with your ex and your child is approaching the teenage years, set your own feelings and ego aside and ask your child how he or she feels about the living arrangements. Sure, it can be awfully hurtful to give up time with a child you adore, but sometimes letting someone go (a little) is the best way to show your love for them. Most importantly, divorced parents need to remember that the child did not choose for his or her parents to get married or divorced, so they should suffer as little as a possible as a result of the failed relationship.
Ultimately, talk-talk-talk to your child. Give your child a space to say how he or she really feels about the living arrangements, and try not react too emotionally to whatever they say. Though navigating these years can be difficult, the most successful parent-child relationships will always be those where the child feels that his or her feelings are respected.
If it turns out that your child would prefer to live with the other parent, work on developing a compromise that makes your child feel heard and simultaneously allows you to still spend meaningful time with your child. The teenage years are a great time to make an adjustment to the living arrangements, which could include the following: rotating houses in intervals of one or two weeks, as opposed to every few days; one parent having the child during the academic year, while the other has the child during the summer; maintaining the usual plan of 50/50 time during the academic year, but living with only one of the parents during the summer.
Ultimately, the point is to listen to your child, focus more on his or her feelings than your own, and model how to compromise. If you compromise with your child about custody now, you might find twenty years from now that your relationship with your child is stronger because of it.
The Father's Rights Movement is not anti-mom, anti-woman, and/or anti-gay.
