Tuesday

"Fathers targeted and undermined by family court's process"















FATHERS WHO DO THE RIGHT THING

We believe that if we “take the high road” and “do the right thing” by other family members, that the Justice system will recognize that when considering motions and making rulings.  We believe we will be able to get a fair outcome as good parents, and that we will be allowed to provide for and protect our children.
If we are present in our kids’ lives, contributing and working to balance many challenges, we should be recognized for our value, and supported in our roles.
We believe that the professionals will factor in the evidence and truth of our lives, and use everything in their power – within what our laws allow – to help us help our children.
Large numbers of fathers have found that NOT to be the case.
We are alarmed at the number of pending cases in the Atlanta area involving the use of false allegations against good parents.  The fathers we are getting to know are revealing that their attorneys have the evidence needed to defend them and to correct the situation, or to avoid it to begin with, but for some reason are not pursuing balance for these dads.
But guess what?  False allegations are not just something that is used against fathers, which is what we hear so often.  Mothers are being falsely accused as well:  of abusing children, of being violent, and of “alienating” their children when the facts show that it is the other parent – with the help of certain custody experts and attorneys – who is behaving badly.  
It is simply more profitable for select professionals to introduce and push false allegations. It doesn’t matter to them which parent gets hurt, or worse, that the kids are suffering in all of these cases.  Damaging children this way ensures future litigation, and makes it easier for these professionals to collect more in fees from the current case.  A good parent falsely accused will be forced to leverage everything they have, including assets from other family members, to deal with the false allegations and to help their children cope.
My Advocate Center does publish much on damages to children, where mothers are the targeted or damaged parent, but the reality is this:
  • Fathers who are good to their children & who want to do the right thing are JUST as likely to be targeted and undermined by this process – by certain professionals – as are mothers.
  • We serve as many fathers as we do mothers, because our mission is about helping children access the best that BOTH parents have to offer.
  • Regardless of whether the mother or the father is put at a disadvantage & penalized for standing up for their kids and their rights, the kids are always harmed.
  • False allegations are now commonly enabled, and used by certain attorneys and custody experts to increase their profits, and more and more fathers are disadvantaged and damaged this way.
  • This is something that men often do not see coming.  Once they realize what is happening, it is too late, but no one fore-warned them how to protect against it.
  • Dysfunctional” comes in all shapes and sizes, as does vindictiveness, addiction & the ill-natured use of children as pawns.  We work to help good parents overcome challenges presented in high-conflict situations, and that includes helping good men stay in the lives of their children.
Case studies will be published showing how too many fathers are being set up to fail in child custody disputes.  Our case studies will also dispel some myths about which parent is likely to lose the most.

Our Executive Director, Deb Beacham, spoke on this in January and will enlist more professionals and parents in the debate starting this Spring.  
My Advocate Center announces the Premiere of Divorce Corp., narrated by Dr. Drew. January 9th, Atlanta, Georgia.
Dr. Drew explains the need to focus on family court: National premiere, January 9th, Atlanta, Georgia.  Join Deb Beacham & other experts to help solve these issues.




Police are responding to allegations being made, where the mother is guided into a “strategy to win” which involves lying to police.  But our reports show that these mothers are not being given the truth about what the consequences are, and thepolice are not being given the truth by certain legal & psychological professionals.  

There are women who would not think to do this, or would not be able to do this on their own.  It takes having an attorney in many situations who will take the false testimony to the Court, and who will use it as leverage.  
Should you as a parent, or should other professionals, just stand by and allow this to go unchecked?  If you are a victim of this perjury and crime, have you tallied up the damages to you and your children?  If not, maybe it’s time…
Our belief is that this misconduct must be dealt with head-on, rather than enabled and covered up.
If you fall into this category as a father or as a mother – on either side of the allegations – then we have professional services to support you in restoring balance.
The targeted parent is seen as the “faulted” party facing a restraining order, unnecessary limitations around your children, and a damaged reputation with limited ability to work.  This erodes stability for the children, and causes reduced financial resources and time and good will to be available for the kids.
What is also noteworthy is that the party making the false allegations is also often being targeted or manipulated.  If you believe you are the one benefitting from “aggressive” tactics in your divorce or child custody fight, you may realize later that while you thought you were “winning,” in reality you are not.  If you were goaded or coached into using false allegations in your case, and you want help in restoring balance and truth to this situation, let us know.  It may not be too late, and it’s a worth taking the chance as you likely have many years left to go in “co-parenting” with this parent you damaged with the help of the wrong attorney.
Only the professionals getting paid are able to win in these games.  This is foul play, and is something we are recognizing and calling out.  The police are clear that lying to peace officers is a crime.
To mothers: if you want to see case studies showing the end results – the fallout that is affecting women and children (not just fathers) – from the use of false allegations, we have much to show you.  It does not pay to lie and work to destroy the father of your children, no matter what your situation and emotions seem to dictate in this process.
If professionals are guiding you as a mother or as a father to use this kind of foul play, please document and report this activity.  It is more than unethical, and it will not serve you or your children in either the short or the long term.


















A lie cannot live.

A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.

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We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

“Changing a child last name (away from the father’s) is an act of venom”

The time is always right to do what is right.

Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'

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