Children Lost in Divorce

The gift of parenting children is the single greatest blessing and experience an individual can enjoy in life. Therefore to me, parenting rights are not a “special rights” concern; they are a “human rights” concern.

So, I want to ask where you stand on an important political issue: Family Law Reform.
As you may or may not be aware, our current system of Family Law has devolved into one in which a whole host of Family Court Industry players are profiteering from the minimization or elimination of parenting time and rights for non-custodial parents.

Many custodial parents, lawyers, parenting plan evaluators, supervised parenting services, States, friends of the Court social workers, many Courts, and others; are making money by using children as an excuse to exploit non-custodial parents, causing irreparable harm to both children and their parents in the process.

I, and a rapidly growing base of many others, would like this to stop. More specifically, we are asking for five primary reforms to Family Law:

The presumption of 50/50 custody and parenting rights during and after divorce. We are NOT asking for a REQUIREMENT of 50/50, because we still want parents to be able to decide for themselves what works best for them. However, in the event that case goes to trial, instead of having the NCP being forced to rise to a high standard to show why they should have time with their children, I believe it’s far healthier (for both parents and children) for the parent contesting this time to be required to rise to a high standard to show why the NCP should NOT have equal time with their children. And while this may dramatically hit the financial accounts of those who are using children for profit by creating or aggravating conditions of conflict, this reform will affect far healthier outcomes for families.

I would like reforms to child support calculations. More specifically, an elimination of financial incentives for minimizing or eliminating a non-custodial parent’s time with their little ones. As it sits now, there are basically two pieces to the child support calculation: (1) An actual physical needs worksheet, and (2) A tax-free income redistribution; with the Court establishing the higher of the two as the child support order. I recognize that custodial parents may need some time to adjust after divorce, and I have no problems with alimony/maintenance. However, I would like the alimony portion of child support to be eliminated. If a CP wants to better their lifestyle, they can put the work into bettering themselves just like NCP’S are often admonished to do. Children are NOT tax-free income producing assets, and NCP’s are NOT indentured servants.

Reforms to child support enforcement: If one wants to accomplish a goal, it helps establish good or helpful conditions to achieve that goal. Unfortunately, the Family Court has become accustomed to pathological and often draconian measures for enforcement in which the civil rights of NCP’s are systematically ignored or eliminated through administrative court procedures. If a person loses their job, or becomes ill or disabled, it makes no sense what so ever, to take away their driver’s license, vocational license, destroy their credit, throw them in jail, or force them into homelessness. How does this help to ensure the support gets caught-up? It doesn’t. It simply makes the problem worse and sets the non-custodial parent up for future, life-destroying failures. Truthfully, current regimes for enforcement that treat "deadbroke" parents as common criminals are completely inappropriate.

Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458 "Incentive Payments To States": I have no problem, in theory, with states being rewarded for child support enforcement. However, I have a big problem with States profiting from it, and a REALLY big problem with the lack of resources available to NCP’s for visitation enforcement. For little or no cost, a CP can have the state pursue civil or criminal remedies for delinquent child support. However, an NCP in reality, must hire an attorney if his or her visitation orders are being ignored, and often, these orders are not enforced with anywhere near the same severity by the Court as they are with child support orders. And I’m confident this is happening in large part, due to the financial interests of those parties noted in paragraph four. Therefore, if there is going to be Federal incentives for the enforcement of Family Court orders, I want equal weighting and importance put the enforcement of visitation orders. Honestly, the message that money is more important than a parent’s relationship and the emotional well-being of children is remarkably disgusting. I simply can’t tolerate that kind of worldview.

VAWA reform. I agree that victims of abuse and violence need the ability to feel safe in swiftly seeking the protection of the Justice system. However, fraudulent allegations of abuse made during Family Court are getting out of control. This is a gender-neutral problem, and it seems it now boils down to which party can launch this nuclear attack first. There are no remedies available to the victims of fraudulent allegations – none, and the damage these allegations cause to both children and parents is catastrophic.

The American Bar Association loves to fall back on VAWA as its reasoning for opposing any kind of Family Law reform. However, I can’t help but wonder how much money attorneys and investigators are making from a law that allows someone to be accused of such a serious crime and presumed guilty of it with no credible evidence what-so-ever. Something needs to be done about this, right now.

In short, much of the current political and judicial rationalizing for the current structure of Family Law centers on the concept of what’s “in the best interests of the children”. However, what is becoming increasingly clear is that children are simply being used as a seemingly noble excuse to mask a greedier underlying motive that is causing significant and irreparable harm to parents and children alike.

I understand you can expect to receive significant resistance to my ideas for reform because those parties noted earlier have a great deal to lose when they take place.

However, I’m not concerned about them. I’m concerned about the health and well-being children and parents, and your position on this matter will affect my voting behavior going forward.

Therefore, I will be grateful if you will tell me, in plain and simple words, where you stand on Family Law Reform.

Thank you so much for your time.


Let's Join The Purple Keyboard Campaign((Activate :2015))4 Family Justice Reform!
 — at Let us be excellent to each other in 2015.


Dad is expected to be more involved.

NCFM Advisor Gordon Finley, Ph.D. blasts VAWA for causing the deaths of men | National Coalition For Men (NCFM)

FIU lab investigates the state of fatherhood »

Family roles have changed substantially since the 1950s. Mom now works outside the home. And dad is expected to be more involved in raising the kids. 
By Sissi Aguila.

We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.

Family Court Litigation Can Be Dangerous To Your Health! ~~ LEGAL ABUSE SYNDROME-PTSD

Legal abuse


Legal abuse refers to abuses associated with both civil and criminal legal action. Abuse can originate from nearly any part of the legal system, including  frivolous  and  vexatious  litigants,  abuses by law enforcement,incompetent, careless or corrupt attorneys and misconduct from the judiciary itself.

Legal abuse is responsible not only for injustice, but also harm to  physical,  psychological  and  societal health.*


Abuses can originate from virtually every part of the legal system. Litigantsattorneyslaw enforcement andjudiciary can abuse the system, sometimes accidentally but more often intentionally. Legal abuse can also besystemic, such as when the principles, processes, and consequences of law itself encourage and enable individuals to legally harm others.

Abusive litigants~

Abusive litigants in civil cases are most often classified as vexatious litigation, frivolous litigation, or both. Avexatious litigant seeks to harass or subdue an adversary. A frivolous litigant starts or carries on actions that have little or no merit and are very unlikely to be won. Litigants of this sort are often unable to find representationwilling to accommodate them and thus must represent themselves in propria persona.
There can often be considerable overlap between these two types of abuse. One case in point is the strategic lawsuit against public participation (SLAPP), which is a lawsuit intended to censor, intimidate and silence critics by fear, intimidation and burdening them with the cost of a legal defense until they abandon their criticism or opposition. Such actions are self-evidently vexatious, but are typically frivolous as well in that the plaintiff does not expect, or even intend, to win.
Litigants can abuse the system in criminal ways as well. Some of the forms of criminal legal system abuse arejury tampering, the practice of directing enticements or threats to jurors in order to influence their deliberations, and falsification of evidence, which refers to any of a variety of ways evidence is improperly manipulated. One particular case of falsifying evidence is the frameup, a chiefly American term for the manufacture or manipulation of evidence for the purpose of indicating the guilt of an innocent party.

Law enforcement abuse~

Main article: Police misconduct
There are a plethora of ways that police and law enforcement can undermine the rights of citizens. Sometimes such abuses are unintentional, brought about by circumstance, imperfect understanding of some subtlety of law, or other kinds of good-faith mistakes. In other cases rights are abused deliberately, due to prejudice, self-interest, vigilantism, impaired value judgmentconflicts of interest or corruption. Such police misconduct can take many forms, among them false arrestharassmentpolice brutalityfalsification of evidencecoercion and in rare cases, torture and false imprisonment.

Abusive advocates~

Main article: Attorney misconduct
Lawyersparalegals and other professionals involved in legal advocacy can abuse the system in a number of ways. In some cases, representation may well-intended but nonetheless incompetent. In others, lawyers engage in misconduct in an effort to gain unfair advantage for their clients or in pursuit of some self-interest.

Abusive judiciary~

Main article: Judicial misconduct
Abuse from the bench can arise from various causes, including incompetence, conflicts of interestbias or prejudice, judicial misconduct and corruption.

Consequences of abuse~

Although the primary consequence of unaddressed legal-system abuse for victims is injustice, abuses of the legal system inflict harm in many other ways. Civil litigation and criminal defense of the innocent imposepsychological stress, often severe, upon the parties involved. Often such stress will affect physical health as well. When the system is abused and justice is denied as a result, stress and its effects can be exacerbated enormously. Karin P. Huffer, M.S., M.F.T. hypothesized the condition Legal Abuse Syndrome (LAS) as a form ofpost traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) caused by ethical violation, legal abuse, betrayalabuse of powerabuse of authority, lack of accountability and fraud.
Chronic and high-profile legal abuse have societal effects as well, including distrust of the law, law enforcement and the legal system, rationalization of small crimes by ordinarily honest citizens, and psychological stress.

See also~


  1. Chance, Randal P. (2004). RAPED by the STATE: Fractured Justice - Legal Abuse. AuthorHouse.ISBN 978-1-4140-5005-8.
  2. Colombo, R. (2010). Fight Back Legal Abuse: How to Protect Yourself From Your Own Attorney. Morgan James Publishing. ISBN 978-1-60037-709-9.
  3. Huffer, Karin (June 1995). Legal Abuse Syndrome. Karin Huffer. ISBN 0-9641786-0-5.
  4. ^ Huffer, Karin (1995). Overcoming the Devastation of Legal Abuse Syndrome. Karin Huffer. ISBN 978-0-9641786-0-1.

Check out this website out before you go before the judge in court!

The old adage is...
"He who represents himself has a fool for a client."   The reality has become..."He who is represented is usually taken for a fool."

Pro Se, Sui Juris, In Propia Persona and Pro Per Information

Pro Se is defined as someone that is representing themselves
in court or other legal proceedings.


What's New(s) in Florida Access to Justice - October 2015

Florida Bar members, judges, paralegals, law students and ANY Floridians seeking legal help, we have big, big, BIG news ...

"Florida Supreme Court Justice Labarga Set to Launch Florida's first Access to Civil Justice Commission on Monday"

The details:

The Commission will study the unmet civil legal needs of disadvantaged, low-income, and moderate-income Floridians. Its work will include a close look at improving existing legal programs, developing solutions based on new technology and exploring other ways to meet the needs of Floridians caught in the current civil legal services gap.

Florida Chief Justice Jorge Labarga will formally sign an administrative order creating the Florida Commission on Access to Civil Justice at a ceremony 10 a.m. Monday in the rotunda of the Florida Supreme Court Building in Tallahassee.

The Commission first was announced by Labarga when he took the oath of office as Chief Justice on June 30. It will be the major initiative of his two-year administration.

Monday’s ceremony will be broadcast live on the Court’s Gavel to Gavel Video Portal (, on the Florida Channel (, and via the WFSU Florida Transponder satellite downlink for video broadcasters (

Visit the Florida Supreme Court's website for more details:

Wow!!!!!! They tried to stop him from doing this on TV… Just watch you will understand ...
Posted by Tyrese Gibson on Friday, March 7, 2014


I am a Human being…a Parent!

Parental Alienation Is Real

Today is my son’s 7th birthday. June 16th, 2008 seems like just yesterday when I was holding my newborn son in my arms. Hard to believe he is that old but harder to believe that I have not been allowed to see him in 18 months for no reason. I am not a child abuser, drug abuser or any danger to my son. I was allowed to be a part of his life for 5 1/2 years and he was always happy, healthy and well taken care of while in my care. If not for me, my son’s seizures would have never been discovered or treated. 

So I ask myself why a good father has been denied access to his child for a year and a half? Oh, I almost forgot about the parental alienation from his vindictive mother. Or the way she uses the broken, corrupt, unjust family courts and laws to keep him from me. 

There are many people that say Parental Alienation or PA is not a real thing. Those same people have either never had their children kept from them, are guilty of PA themselves, or profit from its use. 

March 16th, 2015 

Dear ——–, 

It saddens me that you have decided to cut me out of our (yep, it took both of us to create him) child’s life because of your own selfish desire to hurt me. I am not surprised as you made it clear early in his life that if I wasn’t with you, I would only see him when you allowed. You even threatened to kill our child so my family and I couldn’t see him! 

I appreciate that I got to teach him a lot and see some of his “firsts” because you allowed me to watch him while you worked. I also appreciated the time I was allowed to watch him while you dated your now husband. Thank God I was able to spend time with him to discover he was having seizures and get him treatment. I am sorry I took you to court but you put that on yourself by failing to give him his seizure medication. 

I appreciate you allowing our son to come to California for 3 weeks in 2013. I appreciate you allowing our son to spend a week with me on his Christmas break in 2013. Hmmm…I am a great daddy and our son loves me but you won’t allow our son to visit in over a year? 

What makes it worse is you know his daddy is sick, yet you still have no soul… 

Just because the law gives you all the power, does not mean you should use it to hurt our child. Sure, you are hurting me but you are destroying our innocent child with your actions. I know how to cope with crazy adults that only care about themselves but our child does not have that ability. Your actions have continued to show how much you do not care about anyone but yourself.

Everyone wants to throw out the word “deadbeat” for fathers but any mother that stands in the way of her children having a relationship with their father is the true “deadbeat.” You take it even further by being college educated but not working while collecting money from the citizens of Indiana. I forgot, you do babysit for cash so you are not sitting on your lazy behind doing nothing all day…oh, I almost forgot that our son was touched inappropriately by one of the children your were to be “WATCHING!” 

I know your response will be how you carried him for 9 months so that makes our child YOUR property. I can not change that I was born with male reproductive organs and can not experience the miracle of child birth. Trust me if I could, I would!! Being male does not make me less of a parent. How are you going to feel when our son has children and some female does, to our son and his family, what you are doing right now? 

How are you going to explain to our son what you have done when he finally figures out that YOU chose to hurt him to get back at his daddy? 

There is still time for you to repair the damage that has been done but that window gets smaller each day that you fail to recognize your bad behavior. 

Your actions will eventually have consequences whether you have to answer to our son or God.

What do you think of this story?

Select one of the options below. Your feedback will help tell CNN producers what to do with this iReport. If you'd like, you can explain your choice in the comments below.

Father's Day Is For Fathers

As you may or may not be aware, Angel Soft is running an ad campaign ‪#‎HappyFathersDayMom‬ that is very offensive to fathers. Not only because there is of course Mother's Day but also Single Parents day on March 21st.

Considering fathers are already negatively stereotyped by society, advertisers continue to profit from such offensive, hurtful stereotypes. What will they use next?

I expressed my concern to them with a message: a stay at home father, I have to battle gender bias daily. Like society already doesn't have a negative stereotypical image of fathers. We are percieved as deadbeat, absent or a lesser parent than mothers and advertisers continue to further the hurtful stereotypes. In case anyone was not already aware single parents day is March 21st and mothers already have a day in May. Lastly, Father's Day is to honor fathers.

Angel Soft replied:
Hi Paul, thank you for contacting us. Our intention was never to cause offense nor to diminish the importance of fathers. Instead, we wanted to also acknowledge the different roles that single mothers play and to provide our support to different types of families. We appreciate your feedback and thank you for taking the time to let us know.

#HappyFathersDayMom was never meant to be offensive?

As I have been researching their ads, FB, Twitter etc. looking to see if their company ever mentions dads, I could not help but notice that they mention moms (MANY TIMES) but not dads. While moms may buy their product, I guess dads do not? On most of their ads, they could simply replace moms with parents and not offend 50% of parents in the world.

Why is it accepted to minimize fathers in our society?

Modern day fathers are just as capable as mothers, just like modern women are just as capable as men.

Sadly, I doubt the media will cover this as fathers are not as important...

What do you think of this story?

A Father's Promise

While I was enjoying "The Mommy Tea Party" (my daughter misses her hard working mommy) with my little gal, I could never imagine keeping her from her mommy in any situation.

I wish I was "allowed" to talk with and see my other children without the games and interference. I wish I did not have to hear my 3 year old ask where her buddies are or watch her cry for them. Her sad face is the worst especially because she never cries or is sad. I am sure the games have amped up this week since it is approaching Father's Day. Real grownups do not let their feelings interfere with doing what is best for their children...

My babies are my greatest accomplishment and bring me the most happiness, which is why my vindictive, angry, jealous exes decided to use them as weapons. They waited until I was fighting for my life with my biggest challenges ahead to rip them away from their daddy.

I made my children a promise when they told me about the abuse and neglect in January 2014. My kiddos trusted me to protect them, I will keep that promise. Despite the broken system and laws that were used by the custodial parents to hurt me and the children making the process harder, I will fight to change the laws and protect my babies as promised. Giving all the power to one parent is never going to be successful. Judges using negative stereotypes instead of actual evidence to make decisions has no place in a place called a "court"

Promises made to our innocent children is why The Fathers' Rights Movement (TFRM) held rallies across the country today.

My personal promise to my own children is why the Fathers Matter March is being held tomorrow.

My promise to my children is why I am so passionate about changing negative stereotypes about fathers by society, advertisers and Hollywood. These negative stereotypes are accepted and used freely by society to put down an entire group of people and devalue fatherhood while other hurtful, insensitive stereotypes about other groups of people would never be allowed or are frowned upon. Why is it ok to put down some groups but not others?

My promise to my children is why I continue to talk with politicians across the country about why laws need to change. Our country is allowing our children to be destroyed over money, anger, hurt feelings, greed, they not deserve better from the adults who should be protecting them? Our children are innocent and have no voice other than us. If we would quit destroying our children then crime goes down, mental illness goes down, substance abuse goes down...negative things in our society goes down making our country great again! (Oh crap, Mr. Trump do not sue me as that is close to your campaign slogan)

I am one man that might be broken by a disease, vindictive exes and a horrible family court system but I am not defeated and will fight until my last breath to keep my promise. I encourage us all to stop the hate and allowing the destruction of our greatest future asset...our children. Contact your political leaders and tell them this is unacceptable and they will not get your vote if they do not support family law reform including 50/50 shared parenting.

Lastly, to my children...I know you do not understand why we can not see each other and may think daddy broke his promise but I have not. I think about you every second of the day and will keep fighting to live, change the unjust system that has tried to destroy our relationship and allowed you to be neglected. As I always told you, people can never take the love from your heart or the memories from your head. Remember my motto I taught you all: There are no problems, only solutions...Daddy is working on a solution. I love you and miss you bunches!!

What do you think of this story?

A Father's Love Is No Less Than A Mother's

I will never understand the laws in place that automatically assumes the mother is the best option for a child of unwed parents and gives the father no rights. If the father is a loving, involved father throughout the pregnancy then why are they automatically a lesser parent? Just because a mother carries the child does not make her a better parent or imply a superior bond. I think every situation has to be looked at on a case by case basis and not just on assumptions, as it should be what is in the best interest of the child. Seldom does the government, laws or family courts actually care what is in the best interest of the child, which is the biggest problem unwed fathers face. 

Let us explore an example of unwed parents below and why automatically giving a mother custody may not be in the child’s best interest. 

Behavior/Action/Ability Mother Father 

1. Lost job due to being dishonest. YES NO 

2. Threatened to kill child to keep other parent from seeing child. YES NO 

3. Uses child to control other parent. YES NO 

4. Began alienating child from other involved, loving parent from birth to hurt them. YES NO 

5. Views child as property they own. YES NO 

6. Noticed child was having serious medical issue. NO YES 

7. Refused to give child prescribed medication. YES NO 

8. Uses lies in family court to further parental alienation against other parent. YES NO 

9. Does not allow other loving parent to see child but wants their money. YES NO 

10. Allows child to be touched inappropriately while in their care. YES NO 

11. Has college education but is unemployed. YES NO 

12. Lives off government programs and handouts. YES NO 

13. Files false IRS tax returns to get more money from the government. YES NO 

14. Can provide private health insurance for child. NO YES 

15. Has shown they actually love the child and want what is best for them. NO YES 

16. Can raise a hard working child with good morals, honesty, integrity, etc. NO YES 

The assumption that mothers are better parents than fathers is putting many children into dangerous situations. 50/50 shared custody should be the goal unless a parent (mother or father) is proven to be unfit. The world of parenting is changing with many fathers taking a more active role in the raising of their children then ever before but society has been slow to catch up. Unfortunately, there are many bad parents of both genders that do not care about their children. To just give one parent custody while stripping the other parent’s rights to their child is unconstitutional. Fathers have the right to raise their children and our children have the right to both loving, fit parents!! 

The government is the #1 reason for fatherless children!! 

*The above chart is only to represent why there should not be laws that allow an assumption that one parent automatically get custody without due process and does not represent any actual people. Any likeness or similiarities to any actual people is only coincidental.

What do you think of this story?

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Means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek.

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