A self-censored chronicle of family court dramas, lived by parents who lost all or some visitation with or custody of a child or children based on perjury and/or other false courtroom evidence
Divorce and family law cases sometimes get ugly. And, in ugly
cases, it is not uncommon for one or both of the parties to have a personality
disorder or other mental health condition. Under certain circumstances, a
party's mental health is legitimately relevant to a proper determination
of child custody or alimony. Many times, however, there are
improper motivations for seeking confidential mental health records and
information. Your family law attorneyshould know when this
evidence is subject to discovery.
A party to a divorce or family law proceeding normally has the right to
prevent disclosure of communications or records made for the purpose of
diagnosis or treatment of a mental or emotional condition, including alcoholism
and other drug addiction. See Fla. Stat.
§ 90.503(2). This privilege applies to communications between
a patient and a psychotherapist, or persons who are participating in the
diagnosis or treatment under the direction of the psychotherapist. Id. The term
"psychotherapist" is broadly defined, and includes doctors,
psychologists, therapists, social workers, drug and alcohol abuse counselors,
and nurse practitioners who are engaged primarily in the diagnosis or treatment
of a mental or emotional condition. See Fla. Stat.
§ 90.503(1)(a).
In extreme circumstances, evidence concerning the party's mental health is so
vital to a proper determination of custody that a patient-litigant exception to
the privilege is justified. Id. The rationale for this
exception is that a litigant waives the psychotherapist-patient privilege by
proceeding on a claim for custody where the party's mental condition is an
essential element.
If evidence of mental health is still necessary in a custody case, the
more appropriate method of securing the information is to require an
independent psychological or psychiatric examination of the parent or
parents. Schouw v. Schouw,
593 So. 2d 1200, 1201 (Fla. 2d DCA 1992). In this way, the trial
court balances the need to determine the parents' mental health as it relates
to the best interest of the child, and the need to maintain the confidentiality
between a treating psychotherapist and the patient. Id.
In Attorney ad Litem for DK, the court explained its
reasoning:
We recognize the tension apparent in the law between the rights and
responsibilities of parents and the rights of children. Certainly, to promote
strong families, parents should be involved and active in the lives of their
children, including their health care, for which the parents are held
responsible. Unfortunately, sometimes the parents are the cause of abuse, both
emotional and physical, of their children. Allowing parents complete access to
their children's health care records under all circumstances may inhibit the
child from seeking or succeeding in treatment. The tension between the child's
need for confidentiality and privacy to promote healing may conflict with the
need of the court for information to inform its judgment as to the child's best
interest.
See Attorney ad Litem for D.K., 780 So. 2d at 308. Courts have also
held that even a court appointed guardian ad litem for the
child may be excluded from accessing the child's confidential mental health
records.
If you have questions about how mental health issues might affect your
rights in a family law case, contact an experienced Florida family law attorney.
Attorney David Schorr slapped a court-appointed shrink with a
defamation lawsuit for telling the judge deciding a custody battle with
his estranged wife that he was an unfit parent — for refusing to take his son
to the fast food joint for dinner.
The father's rights movement isn't an anti-mom or anti-woman movement; it's an anti-unfairness movement. It just so happens that moms have most of the power in the family court system in America.
The father's rights movement isn't an anti-mom or anti-woman movement; it's an anti-unfairness movement. It just so happens that moms have most of the power in the family court system in America.
It's true there has been progress in the family law system overcoming its gender bias, though rarely is the playing field even. In order to be truly fair to both parties, courts need to be completely gender blind, which is simply not the case.
In family law, more than any other area of the law, judges have a huge amount of discretion allowing ample opportunity for biases that we all as human beings have.
Since those presumptions are frequently held against fathers, men must spend more time, money, and effort just to try to get to a level playing field in a family law courtroom.
One purpose of the law is to protect us from those leanings of individual judges, but once you give a judge such a wide range of discretion and decision-making then it invites that sort of bias. Historically, it has not worked in the favor of guys.
The bill will: 1. Design a “three strikes” for custodial parents who intend to subvert visitation with the non custodial parent and the child. 2. Visitation exchanges will occur at a location in the local police department. Each parent will identify themselves using a fingerprint scanner. Name, date will be recorded into a database. 3. Strike one. Custodial or non custodial parent does not show for the visitation exchange. 4. Strike two. Custodial parent does not show up for the visitation exchange. Child support obligations for the non custodial parent are relieved that month, and will resume the following month. 5. Strike three. Custodial parent does not show up for the visitation exchange, triggering a third degree felony for T.I.C.K – Tortious Interference Child Kidnapping. The State Attorney or Prosecutor will file charges on the custodial parent for T.I.C.K. 6. Exceptions will be made as necessary for health emergencies. 7. Immunity for State Attorneys, Attorneys and Judges will be removed if those parties fail to enforce T.I.C.K. Complaints for violations by any party including Judges and attorneys will be maintained in the T.I.C.K database, available as public information for no charge. 8. Non custodial parents who do not appear for parenting time at the exchange will trigger a 50% increase in child support for that month, since the burden of support will be on the custodial parent.
“He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.” ~ Malachi 4:6 (NIV)
Recently, I have found myself thinking a lot about the best, and the worst, custodyarrangements for very young children. When I say very young children, I am thinking about infants (aged newborn to roughly 18 months) as well as toddlers (aged 18 months to about 3 years).
Below, I will offer some of my own thoughts about this very important, and it seems, increasingly controversial topic. But at the outset, I want to invite readers to share their experiences about what is working for you, and what isn't; about what custody arrangements you have chosen for your own very young children, and about what schedules were imposed on you by a court, an ex, whoever.
I am looking for your input, because I have been hearing more and more from parents who are very unhappy about parenting plans for their very young children. Mostly, I have been getting emails or telephone calls from parents, usually mothers, who are scared to death that their very young child has been divided - and is being damaged both now and in the long term. I also have heard from other parents, mainly fathers, who are afraid they are being shut out of their very young children's lives - now and for the long run.
There are a lot of complicated psychological, practical, and legal issues involved in custody arrangements for very young children. I will not delve very deeply into the details in this post, or I will end up going on for too long. Look for future posts with more specifics.
Psychologically, the quality of attachment relationships is the main concern about the well-being of very young children. Children form a close bond with those who care for them, usually their parents, in the first year of life (and beyond). The development of attachments is a biologically driven process, one that is observed in other primates, other mammals, and precocial birds. (Think of ducklings swimming in line behind their mother on a pond in springtime.)
Very young children can and do form multiple attachments, including to mothers, fathers, grandparents, nannies, and so on. Still, children have a primary attachment figure, the person they prefer to offer them comfort in times of anxiety or pain. (A daycare worker can comfort a distraught toddler when no parent is available, but given a choice, an 18 month old will run to Mommy - or Daddy.)
Now we are getting to the nub of one controversy. A great deal of psychological research shows that the quality of the primary attachment - particularly whether it is secure or insecure - in very young children predicts the development of various psychological and social problems in the future. (Importantly, attachment is a central concern not only for custody but for other issues like day care, families where both parents are employed for long hours, hospitalized premature infants, incarcerated parents, and a variety of other issues involving parents' relationships with their very young children.)
So in disputed custody cases, parents, lawyers, and various experts can and do end up debating whether a very young child's primary attachment (usually to the mother) is all-important and pretty fragile - or whether their secondary attachment (usually to the father) is just as important and perhaps is being undermined, maybe deliberately, by a doting or vindictive primary attachment figure. Specific questions and debates range from whether babies, or toddlers, should have overnights with their secondary attachment figures to whether parents should share joint physical custody of infants, alternating back and forth every day if necessary.
It’s never easy for a Dad or a woman’s father figure to give away his “little girl” to the man she loves, but it’s such an extraordinary gesture that means the world to both of you. One Dad wasn’t sure how to tell his daughter how much she meant to him on her special day, so he decided to do something extra special to let her know he will always love her.
Kevin McKeeveratNYC Dads Group -*By Dave Lesser, NYC Dads Group Guest Contributor* "It is the best job I've ever had ... but the pay sucks." That’s what I tell people when they ask how I like being a stay-at-home dad to two kids. And it's true. I love so many things about doing what I do. I get to laugh and play for a living. And there's important work to be done. I mold minds, for crying out loud! I nurture bruised knees and bruised feelings. I hear the lessons I teach and the words I say repeated back to me in the world's most adorable voices. Some of the words are not totally age-appropriate, but that makes the...more »
As a grandparent, do I have the right to visit my grandchild?
Grandparents only have the right to ask for visitation. They do not have a guaranteed right to visit and see their grandchildren. If you currently have a visitation court order, you have the right to have that order enforced.
How do I get to visit my grandchildren?
Every family is different and you know your family best when it comes to deciding how to resolve any family problems. It is recommended to first try to work out visits with the child’s parents. Talk to the parents and tell them you miss your grandchild. You may also try to have a neutral person, such as a mediator, help you with this. Each Family Court in New York City has a mediation program. If you can’t agree or think that you can’t talk about the problem with each other, then go to court and file papers for visitation.
What do I have to show the court in order to have visits with my grandchildren?
You must first show that you have what “standing.” Standing gives you the right to ask for visitation with your grandchild. If one of the parents is deceased, then you have standing to ask for visits without having to show anything else. If both parents are living, you must show that you either have a positive existing relationship with your grandchild but are not allowed to see your grandchild or that the parents have not allowed you to have a relationship with your grandchild but that you have tried to have one. Once you show you have a relationship or that you haven’t been allowed to have one, you must then show it is in the “best interests” of the child to visit with you.
What does “best interests” mean?
There is no one way to define this. The court will look at what you’ve done to be part of your grandchild’s life. Did you call, visit, and spend time with your grandchild? Do you know what your grandchild likes? Do you help your grandchild with school or try to help him or her learn? Did your grandchild enjoy time with you?
Do the parents have to be divorced or no longer together for me to go to court to seek visitation with my grandchildren?
No. A court can order visitation even when parents are together with the children if the parents won’t let the grandparents visit the grandchild
How do I show I have a relationship with my grandchild if the parents won’t let me spend
time with my grandchild?
You must show that you’ve made enough of an effort to try to have a relationship with your grandchild.
The court may look at several things to find out whether or not you’ve done this. You can do this by
sending them birthday cards or gifts. You can write them letters. You can call them and try to let them
know that you love them. Do your best to say good things about the parents, even if you are not getting
along. Do not make your grandchildren feel like they have to choose between their parents or
grandparents. The court wants to see that the child won’t be harmed by visiting with you.
What if the parents are strongly opposed to my seeing my grandchildren?
This is not enough. The court will consider what the parents want and will look at why the parents don’t
want you to visit with the child. The court may look at what has happened between you and the parents.
Each case is different and you should speak to an attorney if you are unsure about your case.
"For the first time, separating parents will be expected to ensure grandparents continue to have a role in the lives of their children after they split up. Parenting Agreements will be drawn up that explicitly set out contact arrangements for grandparents. These can then be used as evidence in court if a mother or father goes back on the deal."
