"Fathers targeted and undermined by family court's process"

FATHERS WHO DO THE RIGHT THING

We believe that if we “take the high road” and “do the right thing” by other family members, that the Justice system will recognize that when considering motions and making rulings.  We believe we will be able to get a fair outcome as good parents, and that we will be allowed to provide for and protect our children.

If we are present in our kids’ lives, contributing and working to balance many challenges, we should be recognized for our value, and supported in our roles.

We believe that the professionals will factor in the evidence and truth of our lives, and use everything in their power – within what our laws allow – to help us help our children.

Large numbers of fathers have found that NOT to be the case.

We are alarmed at the number of pending cases in the Atlanta area involving the use of false allegations against good parents.  The fathers we are getting to know are revealing that their attorneys have the evidence needed to defend them and to correct the situation, or to avoid it to begin with, but for some reason are not pursuing balance for these dads.

But guess what?  False allegations are not just something that is used against fathers, which is what we hear so often.  Mothers are being falsely accused as well:  of abusing children, of being violent, and of “alienating” their children when the facts show that it is the other parent – with the help of certain custody experts and attorneys – who is behaving badly.  

It is simply more profitable for select professionals to introduce and push false allegations. It doesn’t matter to them which parent gets hurt, or worse, that the kids are suffering in all of these cases.  Damaging children this way ensures future litigation, and makes it easier for these professionals to collect more in fees from the current case.  A good parent falsely accused will be forced to leverage everything they have, including assets from other family members, to deal with the false allegations and to help their children cope.

My Advocate Center does publish much on damages to children, where mothers are the targeted or damaged parent, but the reality is this:

• Fathers who are good to their children & who want to do the right thing are JUST as likely to be targeted and undermined by this process – by certain professionals – as are mothers.
• We serve as many fathers as we do mothers, because our mission is about helping children access the best that BOTH parents have to offer.
• Regardless of whether the mother or the father is put at a disadvantage & penalized for standing up for their kids and their rights, the kids are always harmed.
• False allegations are now commonly enabled, and used by certain attorneys and custody experts to increase their profits, and more and more fathers are disadvantaged and damaged this way.
• This is something that men often do not see coming.  Once they realize what is happening, it is too late, but no one fore-warned them how to protect against it.
• “Dysfunctional” comes in all shapes and sizes, as does vindictiveness, addiction & the ill-natured use of children as pawns.  We work to help good parents overcome challenges presented in high-conflict situations, and that includes helping good men stay in the lives of their children.

Case studies will be published showing how too many fathers are being set up to fail in child custody disputes.  Our case studies will also dispel some myths about which parent is likely to lose the most.

Our Executive Director, Deb Beacham, spoke on this in January and will enlist more professionals and parents in the debate starting this Spring.  

Dr. Drew explains the need to focus on family court: National premiere, January 9th, Atlanta, Georgia.  Join Deb Beacham & other experts to help solve these issues.

CHILDREN OF DIVORCE ~ The Greatest Taboo?

In 2002, I "successfully" represented myself for almost 3 years in my divorce and for our son. I became knowledgeable in Family Court litigation and I believed then that in Family Courts all of the lawyers and Judges were  driven to serve Justice and protect the best interests of my child, family, and therefore, unconsciously participated in the court proceedings for my daughter Zoraya. 

Later on when my Paternity Suit started in 2008, I learned that these proceedings, the Lawyers and Judges that drive to serve Justice were nothing short of a swindle. 

I have observed countless families needlessly damaged and financially exploited by this system. 

Predictably, my efforts to reform the system were answered by government retaliation of my civil rights and fundamental human rights causing career damage, intentional and negligent emotional distress, and child abuse upon my daughter. Reported and ignored!! 

When families are compelled by law into court for dispute resolution, their members do not realize how much child-rearing freedoms they surrender to outsiders. The arbitrary mandate of naming a “custodial parent” begins the damaging process.

I AM A DEDICATED FATHER WITHOUT COMMISSION OF ANY CRIME OR UNFIT PARENTING.

Children should not be allowed to drive the visitation bus!

Post by David Inguanzo.

By Linda J. Gottlieb, L.M.F.T., L.C.S.W. ~

To any rational, mature, objective parent or professional, the reason for this declaration could be justified by merely pondering the following question: "How reassured would you feel if you were standing trial for a crime, and your jury was comprised entirely of 18-year-olds?"

The reason children should not be empowered to make a decision about visitation with a parent is as obvious as why no one would feel comfortable having only 18 year olds sitting in judgment of us. A child's judgment, insight, perception, reality testing, and emotions only barely reach maturity by the END of adolescence. One only has to read the epistemological research and studies undertaken by Jean Piaget, philosopher and developmental psychologist, who wrote the "Bible" upon which educators rely to understand the cognitive development of children.

Children do not have the emotional and cognitive abilities do evaluate for themselves what is in their best interests; to theorize what it would be like to have a parent eradicated from their lives; to be able to discriminate what is rational, truthful, and moral amidst all the information their parents and other adults impart to them---especially about the malicious, fabricated, and fanciful data from the alienating parent. Children, for example, think very concretely until the age of 8; that is why they actually do believe, "Step on a crack, break my mother's back."

Not until much older, can they discriminate reality from fantasy, which is why they should not see horror shows until much older. The ability to think abstractly starts at the beginning of adolescence and is still insufficiently mature by 18. Children lack wisdom! And children further do not have the emotional wherewithal to contradict the alienating parent----if that parent is the residential parent----as they are so dependent upon that parent.

So to placate the alienated parent regarding the visit refusal, the court sanctions it by making an ineffective order for the child to undergo a course of individual therapy in the hopes of readying the child for a relationship with the alienated parent. Every time I hear the unsubstantiated platitude for the therapist, "to prepare the child for contact with the alienated parent," I want to erupt.

Because of their immature cognitive and emotional abilities as previously discussed, children do not possess the facility for abstraction. They cannot participate in a theoretical discussion about what an appropriate relationship entails; nor can they comprehend a desire for something in the abstraction. A child, therefore, cannot have a discussion about desiring a relationship with someone who is in the absentia----especially a brainwashed child; nor can a child participate in determining what to expect from the relationship with that "someone."

The gift of parenting children is the single greatest blessing and experience an individual can enjoy in life

The gift of parenting children is the single greatest blessing and experience an individual can enjoy in life. Therefore to me, parenting rights are not a “special rights” concern; they are a “human rights” concern.

So, I want to ask where you stand on an important political issue: Family Law Reform.

As you may or may not be aware, our current system of Family Law has devolved into one in which a whole host of Family Court Industry players are profiteering from the minimization or elimination of parenting time and rights for non-custodial parents.

Many custodial parents, lawyers, parenting plan evaluators, supervised parenting services, States, friends of the Court social workers, many Courts, and others; are making money by using children as an excuse to exploit non-custodial parents, causing irreparable harm to both children and their parents in the process.

I, and a rapidly growing base of many others, would like this to stop. More specifically, we are asking for five primary reforms to Family Law:

The presumption of 50/50 custody and parenting rights during and after divorce. We are NOT asking for a REQUIREMENT of 50/50, because we still want parents to be able to decide for themselves what works best for them. However, in the event that case goes to trial, instead of having the NCP being forced to rise to a high standard to show why they should have time with their children, I believe it’s far healthier (for both parents and children) for the parent contesting this time to be required to rise to a high standard to show why the NCP should NOT have equal time with their children. And while this may dramatically hit the financial accounts of those who are using children for profit by creating or aggravating conditions of conflict, this reform will affect far healthier outcomes for families.

I would like reforms to child support calculations. More specifically, an elimination of financial incentives for minimizing or eliminating a non-custodial parent’s time with their little ones. As it sits now, there are basically two pieces to the child support calculation: (1) An actual physical needs worksheet, and (2) A tax-free income redistribution; with the Court establishing the higher of the two as the child support order. I recognize that custodial parents may need some time to adjust after divorce, and I have no problems with alimony/maintenance. However, I would like the alimony portion of child support to be eliminated. If a CP wants to better their lifestyle, they can put the work into bettering themselves just like NCP’S are often admonished to do. Children are NOT tax-free income producing assets, and NCP’s are NOT indentured servants.

Reforms to child support enforcement: If one wants to accomplish a goal, it helps establish good or helpful conditions to achieve that goal. Unfortunately, the Family Court has become accustomed to pathological and often draconian measures for enforcement in which the civil rights of NCP’s are systematically ignored or eliminated through administrative court procedures. If a person loses their job, or becomes ill or disabled, it makes no sense what so ever, to take away their driver’s license, vocational license, destroy their credit, throw them in jail, or force them into homelessness. How does this help to ensure the support gets caught-up? It doesn’t. It simply makes the problem worse and sets the non-custodial parent up for future, life-destroying failures. Truthfully, current regimes for enforcement that treat "deadbroke" parents as common criminals are completely inappropriate.

Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458 "Incentive Payments To States": I have no problem, in theory, with states being rewarded for child support enforcement. However, I have a big problem with States profiting from it, and a REALLY big problem with the lack of resources available to NCP’s for visitation enforcement. For little or no cost, a CP can have the state pursue civil or criminal remedies for delinquent child support. However, an NCP in reality, must hire an attorney if his or her visitation orders are being ignored, and often, these orders are not enforced with anywhere near the same severity by the Court as they are with child support orders. And I’m confident this is happening in large part, due to the financial interests of those parties noted in paragraph four. Therefore, if there is going to be Federal incentives for the enforcement of Family Court orders, I want equal weighting and importance put the enforcement of visitation orders. Honestly, the message that money is more important than a parent’s relationship and the emotional well-being of children is remarkably disgusting. I simply can’t tolerate that kind of worldview.

VAWA reform. I agree that victims of abuse and violence need the ability to feel safe in swiftly seeking the protection of the Justice system. However, fraudulent allegations of abuse made during Family Court are getting out of control. This is a gender-neutral problem, and it seems it now boils down to which party can launch this nuclear attack first. There are no remedies available to the victims of fraudulent allegations – none, and the damage these allegations cause to both children and parents is catastrophic.

The American Bar Association loves to fall back on VAWA as its reasoning for opposing any kind of Family Law reform. However, I can’t help but wonder how much money attorneys and investigators are making from a law that allows someone to be accused of such a serious crime and presumed guilty of it with no credible evidence what-so-ever. Something needs to be done about this, right now.

In short, much of the current political and judicial rationalizing for the current structure of Family Law centers on the concept of what’s “in the best interests of the children”. However, what is becoming increasingly clear is that children are simply being used as a seemingly noble excuse to mask a greedier underlying motive that is causing significant and irreparable harm to parents and children alike.

I understand you can expect to receive significant resistance to my ideas for reform because those parties noted earlier have a great deal to lose when they take place.

However, I’m not concerned about them. I’m concerned about the health and well-being children and parents, and your position on this matter will affect my voting behavior going forward.

Therefore, I will be grateful if you will tell me, in plain and simple words, where you stand on Family Law Reform.

Thank you so much for your time.

Sincerely,
Let's Join The Purple Keyboard Campaign((Activate :2015))4 Family Justice Reform!

A Child's Rights

 A child has the right to: • A continuing relationship with both parents. • Be treated not as a piece of property, but as a human being...

"Now that we falsely accused Daddy in Family Court..."

What is the State Domestic Violence Legislative Project? » SAVE: Stop Abusive and Violent Environments

The Violence Against Women Act provides grants to state and local law-enforcement agencies, prosecutors, and courts to establish and enforce domestic violence laws and policies. But there is a growing belief that many of these policies are harmful to victims and give rise to false allegations.

Post by SAVE Domestic Violence Legislative Project.

Post by SAVE Domestic Violence Legislative Project.

Post by SAVE Domestic Violence Legislative Project.

Post by SAVE Domestic Violence Legislative Project.

Post by SAVE Domestic Violence Legislative Project.

Post by SAVE Domestic Violence Legislative Project.

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