Thursday

I am a Human being…a Parent!

Parental Alienation Is Real

Today is my son’s 7th birthday. June 16th, 2008 seems like just yesterday when I was holding my newborn son in my arms. Hard to believe he is that old but harder to believe that I have not been allowed to see him in 18 months for no reason. I am not a child abuser, drug abuser or any danger to my son. I was allowed to be a part of his life for 5 1/2 years and he was always happy, healthy and well taken care of while in my care. If not for me, my son’s seizures would have never been discovered or treated. 

So I ask myself why a good father has been denied access to his child for a year and a half? Oh, I almost forgot about the parental alienation from his vindictive mother. Or the way she uses the broken, corrupt, unjust family courts and laws to keep him from me. 

There are many people that say Parental Alienation or PA is not a real thing. Those same people have either never had their children kept from them, are guilty of PA themselves, or profit from its use. 

March 16th, 2015 

Dear ——–, 

It saddens me that you have decided to cut me out of our (yep, it took both of us to create him) child’s life because of your own selfish desire to hurt me. I am not surprised as you made it clear early in his life that if I wasn’t with you, I would only see him when you allowed. You even threatened to kill our child so my family and I couldn’t see him! 

I appreciate that I got to teach him a lot and see some of his “firsts” because you allowed me to watch him while you worked. I also appreciated the time I was allowed to watch him while you dated your now husband. Thank God I was able to spend time with him to discover he was having seizures and get him treatment. I am sorry I took you to court but you put that on yourself by failing to give him his seizure medication. 

I appreciate you allowing our son to come to California for 3 weeks in 2013. I appreciate you allowing our son to spend a week with me on his Christmas break in 2013. Hmmm…I am a great daddy and our son loves me but you won’t allow our son to visit in over a year? 

What makes it worse is you know his daddy is sick, yet you still have no soul… 

Just because the law gives you all the power, does not mean you should use it to hurt our child. Sure, you are hurting me but you are destroying our innocent child with your actions. I know how to cope with crazy adults that only care about themselves but our child does not have that ability. Your actions have continued to show how much you do not care about anyone but yourself.

Everyone wants to throw out the word “deadbeat” for fathers but any mother that stands in the way of her children having a relationship with their father is the true “deadbeat.” You take it even further by being college educated but not working while collecting money from the citizens of Indiana. I forgot, you do babysit for cash so you are not sitting on your lazy behind doing nothing all day…oh, I almost forgot that our son was touched inappropriately by one of the children your were to be “WATCHING!” 

I know your response will be how you carried him for 9 months so that makes our child YOUR property. I can not change that I was born with male reproductive organs and can not experience the miracle of child birth. Trust me if I could, I would!! Being male does not make me less of a parent. How are you going to feel when our son has children and some female does, to our son and his family, what you are doing right now? 

How are you going to explain to our son what you have done when he finally figures out that YOU chose to hurt him to get back at his daddy? 

There is still time for you to repair the damage that has been done but that window gets smaller each day that you fail to recognize your bad behavior. 

Your actions will eventually have consequences whether you have to answer to our son or God. 

www.disableddaddy.com

What do you think of this story?

Select one of the options below. Your feedback will help tell CNN producers what to do with this iReport. If you'd like, you can explain your choice in the comments below.

Father's Day Is For Fathers

As you may or may not be aware, Angel Soft is running an ad campaign ‪#‎HappyFathersDayMom‬ that is very offensive to fathers. Not only because there is of course Mother's Day but also Single Parents day on March 21st.

Considering fathers are already negatively stereotyped by society, advertisers continue to profit from such offensive, hurtful stereotypes. What will they use next?

I expressed my concern to them with a message:
Wow...as a stay at home father, I have to battle gender bias daily. Like society already doesn't have a negative stereotypical image of fathers. We are percieved as deadbeat, absent or a lesser parent than mothers and advertisers continue to further the hurtful stereotypes. In case anyone was not already aware single parents day is March 21st and mothers already have a day in May. Lastly, Father's Day is to honor fathers.

Angel Soft replied:
Hi Paul, thank you for contacting us. Our intention was never to cause offense nor to diminish the importance of fathers. Instead, we wanted to also acknowledge the different roles that single mothers play and to provide our support to different types of families. We appreciate your feedback and thank you for taking the time to let us know.

#HappyFathersDayMom was never meant to be offensive?

As I have been researching their ads, FB, Twitter etc. looking to see if their company ever mentions dads, I could not help but notice that they mention moms (MANY TIMES) but not dads. While moms may buy their product, I guess dads do not? On most of their ads, they could simply replace moms with parents and not offend 50% of parents in the world.

Why is it accepted to minimize fathers in our society?

Modern day fathers are just as capable as mothers, just like modern women are just as capable as men.

Sadly, I doubt the media will cover this as fathers are not as important...

What do you think of this story?


A Father's Promise

While I was enjoying "The Mommy Tea Party" (my daughter misses her hard working mommy) with my little gal, I could never imagine keeping her from her mommy in any situation.

I wish I was "allowed" to talk with and see my other children without the games and interference. I wish I did not have to hear my 3 year old ask where her buddies are or watch her cry for them. Her sad face is the worst especially because she never cries or is sad. I am sure the games have amped up this week since it is approaching Father's Day. Real grownups do not let their feelings interfere with doing what is best for their children...

My babies are my greatest accomplishment and bring me the most happiness, which is why my vindictive, angry, jealous exes decided to use them as weapons. They waited until I was fighting for my life with my biggest challenges ahead to rip them away from their daddy.

I made my children a promise when they told me about the abuse and neglect in January 2014. My kiddos trusted me to protect them, I will keep that promise. Despite the broken system and laws that were used by the custodial parents to hurt me and the children making the process harder, I will fight to change the laws and protect my babies as promised. Giving all the power to one parent is never going to be successful. Judges using negative stereotypes instead of actual evidence to make decisions has no place in a place called a "court"

Promises made to our innocent children is why The Fathers' Rights Movement (TFRM) held rallies across the country today.

My personal promise to my own children is why the Fathers Matter March is being held tomorrow.

My promise to my children is why I am so passionate about changing negative stereotypes about fathers by society, advertisers and Hollywood. These negative stereotypes are accepted and used freely by society to put down an entire group of people and devalue fatherhood while other hurtful, insensitive stereotypes about other groups of people would never be allowed or are frowned upon. Why is it ok to put down some groups but not others?

My promise to my children is why I continue to talk with politicians across the country about why laws need to change. Our country is allowing our children to be destroyed over money, anger, hurt feelings, greed, selfishness...do they not deserve better from the adults who should be protecting them? Our children are innocent and have no voice other than us. If we would quit destroying our children then crime goes down, mental illness goes down, substance abuse goes down...negative things in our society goes down making our country great again! (Oh crap, Mr. Trump do not sue me as that is close to your campaign slogan)

I am one man that might be broken by a disease, vindictive exes and a horrible family court system but I am not defeated and will fight until my last breath to keep my promise. I encourage us all to stop the hate and allowing the destruction of our greatest future asset...our children. Contact your political leaders and tell them this is unacceptable and they will not get your vote if they do not support family law reform including 50/50 shared parenting.

Lastly, to my children...I know you do not understand why we can not see each other and may think daddy broke his promise but I have not. I think about you every second of the day and will keep fighting to live, change the unjust system that has tried to destroy our relationship and allowed you to be neglected. As I always told you, people can never take the love from your heart or the memories from your head. Remember my motto I taught you all: There are no problems, only solutions...Daddy is working on a solution. I love you and miss you bunches!!

disableddaddy.com

What do you think of this story?

A Father's Love Is No Less Than A Mother's

I will never understand the laws in place that automatically assumes the mother is the best option for a child of unwed parents and gives the father no rights. If the father is a loving, involved father throughout the pregnancy then why are they automatically a lesser parent? Just because a mother carries the child does not make her a better parent or imply a superior bond. I think every situation has to be looked at on a case by case basis and not just on assumptions, as it should be what is in the best interest of the child. Seldom does the government, laws or family courts actually care what is in the best interest of the child, which is the biggest problem unwed fathers face. 

Let us explore an example of unwed parents below and why automatically giving a mother custody may not be in the child’s best interest. 

Behavior/Action/Ability Mother Father 

1. Lost job due to being dishonest. YES NO 

2. Threatened to kill child to keep other parent from seeing child. YES NO 

3. Uses child to control other parent. YES NO 

4. Began alienating child from other involved, loving parent from birth to hurt them. YES NO 

5. Views child as property they own. YES NO 

6. Noticed child was having serious medical issue. NO YES 

7. Refused to give child prescribed medication. YES NO 

8. Uses lies in family court to further parental alienation against other parent. YES NO 

9. Does not allow other loving parent to see child but wants their money. YES NO 

10. Allows child to be touched inappropriately while in their care. YES NO 

11. Has college education but is unemployed. YES NO 

12. Lives off government programs and handouts. YES NO 

13. Files false IRS tax returns to get more money from the government. YES NO 

14. Can provide private health insurance for child. NO YES 

15. Has shown they actually love the child and want what is best for them. NO YES 

16. Can raise a hard working child with good morals, honesty, integrity, etc. NO YES 

The assumption that mothers are better parents than fathers is putting many children into dangerous situations. 50/50 shared custody should be the goal unless a parent (mother or father) is proven to be unfit. The world of parenting is changing with many fathers taking a more active role in the raising of their children then ever before but society has been slow to catch up. Unfortunately, there are many bad parents of both genders that do not care about their children. To just give one parent custody while stripping the other parent’s rights to their child is unconstitutional. Fathers have the right to raise their children and our children have the right to both loving, fit parents!! 

The government is the #1 reason for fatherless children!! 

*The above chart is only to represent why there should not be laws that allow an assumption that one parent automatically get custody without due process and does not represent any actual people. Any likeness or similiarities to any actual people is only coincidental. 

disableddaddy.com

What do you think of this story?


Tuesday

"Alienated children seem to have a secret wish for someone to call their bluff...


..., compelling them to reconnect with the parent they claim to hate."

 The first installment of a three-part series examining (1) the impact of parental alienation on children, (2) the effects of parental alienation on parents, and (3) programs, services and interventions that combat alienation and seek to reunite estranged parents and their children.

What children of divorce most want and need is to maintain healthy and strong relationships with both of their parents, and to be shielded from their parents' conflicts. Some parents, however, in an effort to bolster their parental identity, create an expectation that children choose sides. In more extreme situations, they foster the child’s rejection of the other parent. In the most extreme cases, children are manipulated by one parent to hate the other, despite children’s innate desire to love and be loved by both their parents.
Parental alienation involves the “programming” of a child by one parent to denigrate the other “targeted” parent, in an effort to undermine and interfere with the child's relationship with that parent, and is often a sign of a parent’s inability to separate from the couple conflict and focus on the needs of the child. Such denigration results in the child’s emotional rejection of the targeted parent, and the loss of a capable and loving parent from the life of the child. Psychiatrist Richard Gardner developed the concept of "parental alienation syndrome" 20 years ago, defining it as, "a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent's indoctrination and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the target parent." Children’s views of the targeted parent are almost exclusively negative, to the point that the parent is demonized and seen as evil.
As Amy Baker writes, parental alienation involves a set of strategies, including bad-mouthing the other parent, limiting contact with that parent, erasing the other parent from the life and mind of the child (forbidding discussion and pictures of the other parent), forcing the child to reject the other parent, creating the impression that the other parent is dangerous, forcing the child to choose between the parents by means of threats of withdrawal of affection, and belittling and limiting contact with the extended family of the targeted parent. In my own research on non-custodial parents who have become disengaged from their children’s lives (Kruk, 2011), I found that most lost contact involuntarily, many as a result of parental alienation. Constructive alternatives to adversarial methods of reconnecting with their children were rarely available to these alienated parents.

Parental alienation is more common than is often assumed: Fidler and Bala (2010) report both an increasing incidence and increased judicial findings of parental alienation; they report estimates of parental alienation in 11-15% of divorces involving children; Bernet et al (2010) estimate that about 1% of children and adolescents in North America experience parental alienation.

Sunday

How do I protect my kids from my ex turning them against me?

From Temporary or Trial Arrangement as Stay at Home Parent, to Primary Caregiver Designated at Trial


Basics of Child Custody/Timesharing in Florida

At some point, when pondering divorce, parents worry about how child custody /timesharing arrangements will get decided. Florida's laws regarding child custody / timesharing focus on the rights and best interest of children. That means under reasonable circumstances, divorcing parents in Jupiter, Delray or Wellington can expect to receive plenty of quality time with their kids.
Florida courts use the term "Time-Sharing" as the designation of visitation/contact. According to About.com's Single Parent pages, Time-Sharing is  "a type of visitation where one parent is awarded majority timesharing of a child while the other parent is awarded generous visitation."

Physical custody in some states means the primary residence of the child or children.
Debrina Washington, author of the About.com article says that "best interest of the child" guides judges to review parental dynamics. 

They look at mom and dad's attitudes towards positively supporting the child's relationship with the other parent, their intention to remain levelheaded when real life changes occur, their desire to place the child's needs first, and their ability to be involved in the child's school or other activities.

Add to that the stability of each parent's home, his or her physical and mental health, and any history of child abuse and the court can make a reasonable assessment for custody sharing.

Florida Statute § 61.13 outlines the 24 best interest factors that Florida judges consider in divorce cases.
Once the timesharing arrangements are prescribed by a judge, it takes "substantial, material, or unanticipated change in circumstances" to have the order modified. This must be legally shown by the modifying parent and must continue to uphold the interest of the child.
In divorce, time with children becomes more precious. Understanding Florida's laws and the rights of children to be with both parents is important. To get assistance with child custody, contact an attorney board certified in marital and family law in your area.

Wednesday

Fathers and Daughters, their unique relationship, how they impact one another, and the issue that impact their relationship


PLEDGE TO

Bring awareness, celebrate, and support Father-Daughter Relationship Education

HOW THIS WILL HELP?
The Journal of Father-Daughter Communications reports on the great work being done in the global community, with regard to Fatherhood and the Father-Daughter relationship dynamics. Utilizing the voices of multicultural contributing writers, we offer innovative and useful information, parenting tips for fathers of daughters, comedic antidotes and advice that speak to the interests of our diverse readers.  Readers enjoy global news reports,  video news, current events announcements, and groundbreaking research articles.

Here educators, practitioners and parents will find the diverse resources they need  about  fathers and daughters, their unique relationship, how they impact one another, and the issue that impact their relationship; from multicultural (ethnic) perspectives. Journalists can source diverse Family Service industry experts to interview. Advertisers can connect with a multicultural audience of consumers!The Journal is published by Karen Davis-Johnson, M.A PhD Student of Psychology, Father-Daughter Relationship Educator-Consultant, Founder of the online Institute for Father Daughter Communications, Chief Consultant for Johnson and Johnson Consutling-CFLS and author of The Father's Guide to Raising Daughters and Voices of Daughters.



The Good Men Project
There is something special about the relationship between a father and his daughter. Brendan Malone gives some tips on how to make the most of that time. — I do not consider myself a parenting expert by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I generally tend to harbor a mild suspicion about people who are labeled as “parenting experts,”…Read More
Childrens Rights Florida
Childrens Rights Florida Campaign leader
"A Father's Journey." In an epic eight-year battle the author continually sought to find his daughter. He was falsely accused,…Read More
We Have Your Daughter
"We Have Your Daughter" is the first in a series of three books called "A Father's Journey."  In an epic eight-year battle the author continually sought to find his daughter.  He was            falsely accused, put into jail, prosecuted, and finally prevailed!     Follow the journey and see how the story unfolds.Join the "We have Your Daughter"…Read More
AmericanFathers LiberationArmy
AmericanFathers LiberationArmy Campaign leader
"Father - Pastor, Provider and Protector." ~ Fathers in the Field www.facebook.com/fathersinthefield

Stand Up For Zoraya
Scott Adams

Whereas parents in general are not supported as parents by our social institutions, divorced fathers in particular are devalued,…Read More
Psychology Today
According to the 2007 UNICEF report on the well-being of children in economically advanced nations, children in the U.S., Canada and the U.K. rank extremely low in regard to social and emotional well-being in particular. Many theories have been advanced to explain the poor state of our nations’ children: child poverty, race and social class. A…Read More

Take Action Now!

Children's Rights Florida

Florida Family Law Reform

Family Law Community

Search This Blog

American Coalition for Fathers and Children

Means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek.

Abuse (7) Abuse of power (1) Abuse of process (5) Admission to practice law (3) Adversarial system (79) Advocacy group (3) African American (1) Alienator (1) Alimony (7) All Pro Dad (1) All rights reserved (1) Allegation (2) Alliance for Justice (2) American Civil Liberties Union (3) American Psychological Association (1) Americans (2) Anecdotal evidence (2) Anti-discrimination law (1) Arrest (1) Bar association (1) Best interests (41) Bill (law) (1) British Psychological Society (1) Broward County (1) Broward County Public Schools (2) Brown University (1) Catholic Church (1) Center for Public Integrity (2) Chief judge (25) Child Abuse (48) Child custody (76) Child development (6) Child neglect (2) Child protection (15) Child Protective Services (18) Child Support (61) Children (3) Children's Rights (83) Christine Lagarde (1) Christmas (3) Circuit court (3) Civil and political rights (14) Civil law (common law) (1) Civil liberties (9) Civil Rights (143) Civil rights movement (1) Class action (1) Communist Party of Cuba (1) Confidentiality (1) Constitutional law (1) Constitutional right (5) Contact (law) (10) Contempt of court (2) Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (1) Coparenting (27) Copyright (1) Copyright infringement (1) Corruption (1) Court Enabled PAS (90) Court order (2) Cuba (1) Cuban Missile Crisis (1) Cuban Revolution (1) Custodial Parent (1) Declaratory judgment (3) Denial of Reasonable Parent-Child Contact (109) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (2) Divorce (121) Divorce Corp (3) Divorce Court (1) Documentary (22) Domestic Violence (51) Dr. Stephen Baskerville (5) Dred Scott v. Sandford (1) DSM-5 (1) DSM-IV Codes (1) Due Process (44) Due Process Clause (1) Dwyane Wade (1) Easter (1) Equal-time rule (2) Ethics (1) Events (9) Exposé (group) (1) Facebook (19) Fair use (1) False accusation (4) False Accusations (56) Family (1) Family (biology) (2) Family Court (192) Family Law (107) Family Law Reform (115) Family Rights (86) Family therapy (10) Father (12) Father figure (2) Father's Day (1) Father's Rights (12) Fatherhood (105) Fatherlessness Epidemic (4) Fathers 4 Justice (3) Fathers' rights movement (44) Fidel Castro (1) Florida (209) Florida Attorney General (6) Florida Circuit Courts (18) florida lawyers (29) Florida Legislature (6) Florida Senate (10) Foster care (1) Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution (1) Fraud (1) Free Speech (1) Freedom of speech (1) Frivolous litigation (1) Fundamental rights (12) Gender equality (1) Government Accountability Project (2) Government interest (2) Grandparent (3) Havana (1) Healthy Children (14) Human Rights (117) Human rights commission (1) I Love My Daughter (55) I Love My Son (8) Injunction (1) Innocence Project (1) Investigative journalism (1) Jason Patric (2) JavaScript (1) Joint custody (8) Joint custody (United States) (16) Judge (4) Judge Judy (7) Judge Manno-Schurr (53) Judicial Accountability (100) Judicial Immunity (6) Judicial misconduct (8) Judicial Reform (3) Judicial Watch (2) Judiciary (3) Jury trial (1) Kids for cash scandal (1) Law (1) Lawsuit (8) Lawyer (8) Legal Abuse (147) Liar Joel Greenberg (15) Linda Gottlieb (1) Litigant in person (1) Little Havana (1) Marriage (6) Matt O'Connor (1) Men's rights movement (1) Mental disorder (1) Mental health (2) Meyer v. Nebraska (1) Miami (43) Miami-Dade County (8) Miami-Dade County Public Schools (1) Miscarriage of justice (40) Mother (4) Motion of no confidence (1) Movie (4) Music (8) Nancy Schaefer (1) National Fatherhood Initiative (1) Natural and legal rights (1) News (86) Nixa Maria Rose (15) Non-governmental organization (1) Noncustodial parent (4) Organizations (56) Palm Beach County (1) Parent (35) Parental Alienation (115) Parental alienation syndrome (15) Parental Rights (36) Parenting (12) Parenting plan (5) Parenting time (7) Parents' rights movement (38) Paternity (law) (1) Personal Story (22) Pierce v. Society of Sisters (1) Pope (1) Posttraumatic stress disorder (27) President of Cuba (1) Pro Se (29) Pro se legal representation in the United States (3) Prosecutor (1) Protest (1) Psychological manipulation (1) Psychologist (1) Public accommodations (1) Public Awareness (105) Raúl Castro (1) Re-Post/Re-Blog (12) Research (1) Restraining order (4) Rick Scott (12) Second-class citizen (1) Self Representation-Pro Se (31) Sexism (1) Sexual abuse (2) Sexual assault (1) Shared Parenting (90) Single parent (6) Skinner v. Oklahoma (1) Social Issues (57) Social Media (1) Spanish (8) Stand Up For Zoraya (46) State school (1) Student (1) Supreme Court of Florida (7) Supreme Court of the United States (5) Testimony (23) Thanksgiving (1) The Florida Bar (9) The Good Men Project (1) Trauma (4) Troxel v. Granville (1) True Story (21) Turner v. Rogers (1) United States (24) United States Congress (1) United States Constitution (1) United States Department of Justice (4) Videos (50) Violence Against Women Act (1) Whistle-blower (3)