Wednesday

Partner Abuse State Of Knowledge Project

Finally I am releasing my documentary DVI The Inside Story for public viewing. I hope all of you enjoy the film. I will begin production of my next film (untitled) in September, which will contain shocking footage from inside a County Clerk's Office and Batterer's Intervention Programs. I'll keep you posted.

VAWA is unconstitutional - VAWA is in violation of human rightsVAWA is destructive to families

VAWA puts government funds and other (dangerous) resources in the hands of private (non-profit) organizations staffed with very sick individuals.

VAWA does not address the issue it was meant to address, i.e. to reduce domestic violence, it does not offer a solution, it does not resolve or improve anything and it only aggravates the problem (e.g. after visiting a shelter and accusing her husband, the woman must hide for the rest of her life).

VAWA causes innocent citizens to lose respect for the federal government and the legal system. 1. The law (VAWA), the courts and police in domestic situations only help women and assume that men are always the perpetrators. 2. The government is funding the propaganda that women are victims and men are perpetrators, as well as false accusations against men and prosecutions (persecution) of innocent men. 3. In no time is there an investigation, an interrogation or diagnosis to determine who the real victim is and who the abuser is.

 The woman gets a shelter, pro-bono legal help to get her a protective order and to accuse (falsely in many cases) the man, and if she is an immigrant also legal help to file a VAWA self-petition for a Green-Card. 4. The man is removed from his home, gets arrested, accused (falsely), prosecuted, jailed and as a consequence he loses his job, becomes unemployable and his life is totally ruined. All the above happens without any legal due process, without investigation, interrogation, questioning or verification.

Can you imagine anything more destructive to society than the Government funding false accusations and incrimination of innocent citizens!

Sunday

Dad Resources

Family First Celebrates 25 Years from Family First on Vimeo.
This year, Family First turns 25 years old! To celebrate all the families, marriages, and children that have been impacted by our work over the past 2 and a half decades, we are launching our 25th anniversary campaign: #CelebrateFamily. Family First has always been about helping families love well. We are now reaching 10 million users online, and millions more on land and on the air with truth that will help them love well. Stay tuned over the next few months as we hope to inspire more people to join us in celebrating family. www.FamilyFirst.net/anniversary
Story Behind All Pro Dad and Family First from Family First on Vimeo.
All Pro Dad is the fatherhood program of Family First, a national nonprofit that is impacting millions of families worldwide.
"Dad, be passionate about the one who provided you the opportunity to be a father in the first place"

Fatherlessness is a growing crisis in America, one that underlies many of the challenges that families are facing. When dads aren't around, young people are more likely to drop out of school, use drugs, be involved in the criminal justice system, and become young parents themselves.

President Obama grew up without his dad, and has said that being a father is the most important job he has. That's why the President is joining dads from across the nation in a fatherhood pledge — a pledge that we'll do everything we can to be there for our children and for young people whose fathers are not around.

Published on Jul 28, 2015

A teenager tells his dad, “You don’t do anything for me.” As a father of four, Carey Casey, author and CEO of the National Center for Fathering, knows that's just not true. Here he is on Today's Father.

Visit http://www.fathers.com for ideas, advice and inspiration for being the best dad you can be to your children.

Thursday

"Your children have come into this world because of the two of you"

Minnesota Judge Has 200 Blunt Words

for Divorcing Parents

By Judge Michael Haas
2001
“Your children have come into this world because of the two of you.
Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.

No matter what you think of the other party—or what your family thinks of the other party—these children are one-half of each of your.

Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an “idiot” his father is, or what a “fool” his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.

That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love. That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.”


Family Courthouse -Miami-Dade The Miami-Dade Police Department  Miami-Dade Commission on Ethics & Public Trust Citizens for a Healthy Miami-Dade  Miami Herald  Miami New Times  Miami-Dade Clerk of Courts Faces of Miami  Stop Mental Child Abuse  Stop False Allegations of Domestic Violence The Father-Daughter Institute The Fathers' Rights Movement The Fatherhood Task Force of South Florida(FTFSF)  Fatherhoodgov  Father's Rights Are A Human Right  Fathers Rights, Dads looking for support from an unjust... 

Children's Rights American Coalition for Fathers and Children - ACFC Federation of Families, Miami-Dade Chapter Miami-Dade Police Department Headquarters Office of Program Policy Analysis and Government Accountability Florida Family Policy Council Center for Children's Law and Policy SAVE for Falsely Accused  False Accusations: Family Courts and the DV Industry "Fathers Fighting False Restraining Orders"  False Allegations : It can Happen To You Victims of False Restraining Orders First Husbands Advocacy Group - Florida Alimony and Custody... NBC 6 South Florida Hispanic National Bar Association - Florida Region Por una Infancia Libre de Alienación, Trabajamos y Luchamos Fundación para la Prevención al Síndrome de Enajenación... Papas De Fin de Semana Denuncias Falsas Hombres Maltratados Asociación de Padres de Familia Separados  Padres & Hijos  Padres Maltratados Porla Injusticia S.O.S. padres: La batalla por los hijos Healthy Start Coalition of Miami-Dade CBS Miami  Miami-Dade County, Fla. Our Kids of Miami-Dade/Monroe, Inc.  Miami Children's Initiative Archdiocese of Miami  Miami-Dade Democratic Party  Miami Dade County  Miami Children's Initiative  Miami-Dade Chamber of Commerce  Mi Familia Vota Dade Legal Aid & Put Something Back Miami Dade Roundtable  Miami-Dade County Chamber of Commerce  Miami-Dade County Department of Health  Miami-Dade County Legislative Delegation Take Stock in Children Miami Dade  Miami-Dade Police Training Bureau The United States Department of Justice  Fathers-4-Justice USA Dads Justice American Center for Law and Justice U S Department of Justice Office of Legal Education Alliance for Justice And Justice 4 All ~ Florida Family Justice Center Alliance  Justice 4 dads against bitter women who use children as weapons

We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.


Related articles

Dr. Childress' Response to Parent On Diagnosis

Re-blogged from:  

This is a weblog of Dr. Craig Childress, a licensed clinical psychologist. regarding the highly problematic family relationship process of parental alienation.

Dr. Childress Response to a Parent

On Diagnosis

I receive many requests for help and guidance.  When I am contacted, professional standards of practice prevent me from commenting on the specifics of an individual case.  However, the relationship dynamics involved with the pathogenic parenting of “parental alienation” processes are exceedingly similar across families, because they originate in the same type of parental psychopathology (a narcissistic personality disorder with borderline features decompensating into persecutory beliefs regarding the targeted/rejected parent’s abuse potential relative to the child).



Recently I received the following question from a parent, and I thought my response to this parent might be helpful to other parents (and to mental health professionals).
“Hello Dr. Childress, What assessment tools do you use to identify the possibility of a likely Parental Alienation Dynamic?  Would you need to interview the children?  Melissa”
Hello Melissa,
The assessment of "parental alienation" (i.e., pathogenic parenting) involves clinical interviews primarily with the child, but also with the targeted parent and child.  Additional interviews with the "alienating" parent can be helpful to confirm the diagnosis but are not necessary to making the diagnosis of "pathogenic parenting" associated with "parental alienation" processes.
Three separate symptom features are evident in the child's symptom display:
1:    Suppression of the normal range functioning of the child's attachment system relative to one parent.
2.   The presence of a specific set of narcissistic and borderline personality disorder features in the child's symptom display, involving:
a.)  "Splitting," in which the child views one parent as overly idealized and the other parent as overly devalued (see attached Appendix A: Splitting)
b.)  A grandiose judgment of a parent in which the child is in an elevated status position in the family hierarchy above that held by the targeted/rejected parent; 
c.)  A sense of entitlement in which the child feels justified in inflicting a retaliatory retribution on the targeted/rejected parent if the child's entitled expectations are not met to the child's satisfaction;
d.)  A haughty and arrogant attitude of contempt regarding the "fundamental human inadequacy" of the targeted/rejected parent; 
 e.) A complete absence of normal-range empathy and compassion for the feelings of the targeted/rejected parent;
3. An intransigently held, fixed and false belief system regarding the fundamental inadequacy of the targeted/rejected parent and/or the abuse potential (typically "emotional abuse") of the targeted/rejected parent.
If this specific set of 3 symptoms is present in the child's symptom display, the only possible origin of this particular symptom set is through induction.  This specific symptom set CANNOT originate authentically to the functioning of the child's nervous system.  This symptom set MUST be induced through pathogenic parenting - either from the distorted and aberrant parenting of the targeted/rejected parent, or from the distorted and aberrant parenting of the allied/idealized parent.  One way or the other, this symptom set only arises from being induced in the child through aberrant and distorted parenting practices.
The next diagnostic step is to rule-out pathogenic parenting emanating from the targeted/rejected parent.  This involves joint parent-child sessions in which the parenting behavior of the targeted/rejected parent, and the child's responses to the parenting behavior of the targeted/rejected parent, are clinically evaluated.
If the parenting behavior of the targeted/rejected parent is broadly normal range[1] (i.e., no evidence of alcoholism, chronic drug use, excessive anger dysregulation, domestic violence, severely distorted communication processes), so that the parenting behavior of the targeted/rejected parent could not reasonably account for the creation of the child's symptom constellation of the three specific features noted above, then the pathogenic parenting MUST be originating in the aberrant and distorted parenting of the other parent. 
There is no other alternative explanation for the presence of that specific set of symptoms displayed by the child.  That symptom set CANNOT arise endogenously to the authentic functioning of a child's nervous system. That specific set of symptoms MUST be induced through interpersonal processes - i.e., through pathogenic parenting emanating either from the targeted/rejected parent or from the allied/idealized parent.  If the targeted/rejected parent is not inducing that specific symptom set, then it MUST be induced by the allied/idealized parent.  There is no other alternative explanation regarding the origins of that specific child symptom set.
Diagnosis is made from clinical interviews with the child and targeted/rejected parent.  If the allied/idealized parent consents to clinical interviews, then these interviews can confirm the diagnosis, but they are not necessary to make the diagnosis.
Associated Clinical Signs:
Additional confirmatory symptoms are also typically present, and while not necessary for the diagnosis, these additional "associated clinical signs" can support the diagnosis:
1)   Listen to the Child:  The allied/pathological parent prominently evidences the phrase "...listen to the child..." - such as "I'm only listening to the child" -  "you [i.e., therapists, attorneys, etc.] should just listen to the child" - "why isn't anyone listening to the child."  This phrase by the allied/pathological parent comes from a need to empower the child, both to exploit the child’s expressed rejection for the other parent and also for a specific need to empower the child, originating from particular psychological dynamics with the allied/pathological parent.  An associated effort for empowering the child is the allied/pathological parent advocating that “the child should be allowed to decide” if he or she goes on visitations with the targeted/rejected parent.  The core issue is a need to empower the child.
2)   Exploiting the Child’s Symptoms:  An exploitation of the child's symptoms by the allied/pathological parent to limit, restrict, disrupt, and nullify the ability of the targeted/rejected parent to form a relationship with the child.
3)    Protecting the Child:  The allied/pathological parent prominently presents in the role as the "protector" of the child from the abuse (typically emotional abuse) of the targeted/rejected parent.  The need to "protect the child" can reach almost obsessional levels.
4)   Selective Parental Incompetence:  The allied/pathological parent presents as selectively incompetent, typically using the phrase "...what can I do, I can't make the child..." - for example; "I encourage the child to go on visitations with the other parent, but what can I do, I can't make the child go if the child doesn't want to go." - "I tell the child to cooperate with the other parent, but what can I do, I can't make the child be nice to the other parent.  I'm not there, how am I supposed to make the child be nice to the other parent?" The presence of this phrase has to do with the narcissistic exploitation of the child's symptoms.
5)  Justifying – “I know just how the child feels…”:  The selective incompetence of the allied/pathological parent is often accompanied by a statement of understanding for the child's hostility and rejection of the other parent - "I tell the child to be cooperative, but what can I do, I can't make the child be cooperative, I'm not there.  And, actually, I know just how the child feels.  The other parent acted just like that with me during our marriage."
6)  Typical Complaints: The typical complaints regarding the targeted/rejected parent are, 
  A)  too insensitive, the targeted/rejected parent doesn't “listen to the child;” 
  B)  too rigid, inflexible and controlling, the targeted/rejected parent always has to have things his (or her) way;
  C)  anger management issues, the targeted/rejected parent has anger management problems;
  D) too selfish and self-centered, combines doesn't listen to the child and always has to have things his or her own way.
7)   Disregard of Court Orders:  The allied/pathological parent displays a cavalier disregard for the authority of Court orders, so that the targeted/rejected parent must continually return to Court seeking enforcement of Court orders.  This represents the expression of narcissistic personality processes of the allied pathological parent.  Narcissists to not recognize (i.e., perceptually register) the construct of "authority" - only the power to compel.  For the narcissist, the construct of "authority" (such as the Court's authority) is synonymous with the "power to compel." If the Court does not compel, then the Court has no authority in the mind of the narcissist.
Appendix A: Splitting
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder.  New York, NY: Guilford
Linehan on Splitting:
 “They tend to see reality in polarized categories of “either-or,” rather than “all,” and within a very fixed frame of reference.  For example, it is not uncommon for such individuals to believe that the smallest fault makes it impossible for the person to be “good” inside.  Their rigid cognitive style further limits their abilities to entertain ideas of future change and transition, resulting in feelings of being in an interminable painful situation.  Things once defined do not change. Once a person is “flawed,” for instance, that person will remain flawed forever.” (p. 35; emphasis added)
American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (Revised 4th ed.). Washington, DC: Author.
“Splitting:  The individual deals with emotional conflict or internal or external stressors by compartmentalizing opposite affect states and failing to integrate the positive and negative qualities of the self or others into cohesive images.  Because ambivalent affects cannot be experienced simultaneously, more balanced views and expectations of self or others are excluded from emotional awareness.  Self and object images tend to alternate between polar opposites: exclusively loving, powerful, worthy, nurturant, and kind – orexclusively bad, hateful, angry, destructive, rejecting, or worthless.”  (p. 813; emphasis added)
Borderline Personality Disorder Criterion 2:
“A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation” (p. 710; emphasis added)
Siegel, J.P. (2006). Dyadic splitting in partner relational disorders. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(3), 418–422.

“Splitting is an identified symptom of both borderline and narcissistic personality disorders.” (p. 419)
Watson P. J. and Biderman, M.D. (1993). Narcissistic personality inventory factors, splitting, and self-consciousness. Journal of Personality Assessment, 61 (1), 41-57.
“Splitting is often thought to be central to pathological narcissism” (p. 44)


[1] Consider normal-range parenting – not perfect parenting.  What type of parental behavior occurs in most typical homes?  Does this less than “perfect” parenting (i.e., typical parenting) result in the type of child reactions evidenced in the child’s symptom display?  Parents frequently become angry at children, set rules for children, deny children a favored toy or activity, and none of these parenting practices results in the child displays of total rejection and excessive hostility seen with “parental alienation” processes (e.g., the child’s haughty and arrogant attitude of contempt, verbal abuse, complete lack of empathy, and desire to completely sever the relationship with a parent).


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