Exposing The Methods An Alienating Parent Uses To Brainwash Their Child.

Isolation is the KEY to Manipulation.

Isolation. The act of isolating, or the state of being isolated, insulation, separation; loneliness.
Manipulation. A method of changing an individual’s attitudes or allegiances through the use of drugs, torture or psychological techniques, any form of indoctrination, alluding to the literal erasing of what is in or on one’s mind.
Brain Washing used to be associated exclusively with the act or practice of manipulating. The state of being manipulated. Shrewd or devious management, especially for one’s own advantage. Indirect control, as of an advisor; power to affect the opinions.
If you isolate the target You can say what you want about them. If you isolate the victim and only allow contact with allies you have complete control. This is an "Alienation Tactic".
"In raising kids, these parents try to make themselves indispensable to the child, and have an entitlement mentality that eventually turns into 'You owe me'.”

It’s completely unhealthy emotionally. Instead of turning to another adult for emotional support, this type of parent turns to the child, using him or her as an emotional confidant or spouse.

That’s the unfortunate thing about high level alienators. Their inappropriate enmeshment with their own child doesn’t cease upon the child’s entering adulthood.

Rather, it kicks into new gear, centered around guilting the child for expressing and acting on his or her natural desire for independence. To these parents, this is a threat of the highest level imaginable– not being needed."

Brainwashing Children ebookHigh level brainwashers (parents actively campaigning to eliminate an ex from the child’s life) very frequently have a “You owe me” expectation once the child becomes an adult. How does this come about?

It’s simple.

High level brainwashers are hyper-selfish people who are experts in playing the victimhood card. They view parenting not only as an obligation but also a favor to their child, and expect something in return down the line. This is the ultimate form of entitlement. Moreover, they view the child as an extension of themselves, not as an autonomous human being.

They’re clueless to the notion of,
“One’s child is not an extension, let alone a clone, of oneself” – Dennis Prager

Brainwashing Children ebook - $3.99

Tactics Used to Alienate Children from the Other Parent  --  Brainwashing Exposing the Methods

  • Doesn’t inform you of upcoming school activities (especially unexpected ones)
  • Expresses no enthusiasm for fun events you’re doing with the child (vacations, amusement parks, etc)
  • Limits child’s cellphone usage, so you’ll rarely get a call or text
  • Limits child’s email usage
  • Refers to you by your first name in their home (Dad becomes “David;” Mom becomes “Julie”)
  • Accomplishes a post-visitation shakedown, extracting as much info as possible to find negatives
  • Hands the phone directly to the child when you call, avoiding even civil conversation with you
  • Pops anti-depressant pills (as many have a history of depression)
  • Able to hold resentment towards young, innocent children (ie. your children from another marriage)
  • Never calls you when the child is sick or taken out of school for a day or more
  • Teaches the child adult things to tell you, such as “I don’t feel comfortable about the duration of our summer visitation, Dad”
  • Teaches the child how to despise or hate another human being (that being you, of course)
  • Labels themselves the “good” parent; label you the “bad” parent
  • Tells the child false stories about their childhood
  • Tells the child how he or she was victimized by you and your actions (while taking no blame at all for the divorce)
  • Teaches the child how to lie to you (coating their little hearts with false malice and scorn)
  • Diminishes your extended family’s worth
  • Says to you words like, “I always encourage her to see you;” “I’ve never told him you’re a jerk” while actually doing the precise opposite
  • Neglects to have the child call you for your birthday, on New Year’s Eve, or other important dates
  • Uses a cellphone as a leash while the child is with you
  • Never gets the child excited about seeing you
  • Reminds the child of all that he or she will be missing while with you and away from them
  • Inflicts his or her unhappiness onto the child (as alienators are deeply unhappy people)
  • Attempts via a lawyer to reduce visitation to that even below family court minimum standards
  • Takes the child out of state without a peep, while demands precise details whenever you travel with them
  • Monopolizes the child’s time for hours on the phone (if you let them)
  • Views any event in the child’s life– a distant Aunt’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, etc– as more important than time with you
  • Teaches the children from their current marriage to despise you
  • Is jealous of anything fun and memorable you do with the child (as they view the good times as a “threat”)
  • Gripes about things you’re doing as a parent to the child, but says nothing to you about it
  • Has outbursts around the child (extremely emotional and dramatic ones)
  • Lacks a filter; spilling any adult topic into the child’s head
The scholarly work Divorce Casualties: Protecting Your Child From Parental Alienation (Darnell 1998), leading author and child psychologist Dr. Douglas Darnell listed some of the clustering signs of commonalities that form what has become known as Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). PAS has striking similarities to NPD and the Stockholm Syndrome (Rawlings et al., 1994, pp. 401– 417), where the “victim sees world from abuser’s perspective” and “denies or rationalizes violence by the abuser.” 
The following are adapted from Darnell et al in relation to Parental Alienation (Syndrome): 
  • They have a relentless hatred for towards the targeted parent(s)
  • They parrot the obsessed alienator
  • The child does not want to visit or spend any time with the targeted parent
  • Many of the child’s beliefs are enmeshed with the alienator
  • The beliefs are delusional and frequently irrational
  • They are not intimidated by the court
  • Frequently, their reasons are not based on personal experiences with the targeted parent, but reflect what they are told by the obsessed alienator.
  • They have difficulty making any differentiations between the two 
  • The child has no ambivalence in their feelings; it’s all hatred with no ability to see the good
  • Victim identifies, enmeshes and aligns through the abuser and the abuser’s allies. Seeing things from the perspective of the perpetrators
  • They have no capacity to feel guilty about how they behave towards the targeted parent or forgive any past indiscretions 
  • They share the Obsessed Alienators cause. Together, they are in lockstep to denigrate the hated parent
  • The children’s obsessional hatred extends to the targeted parent’s extended family without any guilt or remorse
  • They can appear like normal healthy children until asked about the targeted parent that triggers their hatred (Darnell, 2003, 33–34)
These signs not only assist us in understanding Parental Alienation, but also help therapists identify children whose narcissistic and alienating parents drive them to a campaign of hate. Sandy Hotchkiss, author of the book on this most prevalent personality disorder: Why Is It Always About You? The Seven Sins of Narcissism, sums up a root cause of this mentality in America:
The ‘pseudomature’ child is the one who seems to have skipped right over childhood. Both the ‘pseudomature’ child and the ‘entitlement monster’ are bi-products of narcissistic parenting. The latter is held captive in a parent’s narcissistic bubble, while the former is forced out prematurely and forms a false Self that appears more competent than it actually is.
Both fail to separate from their emotionally bankrupt mothers, and they become what Mother, or Father, needs them to be rather than whom they truly are. (Hotchkiss, 2003, pp. 56–57)
In his scholarly work Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex, Dr. Richard Warshak eloquently listed the areas like “corrupting reality,” which the NPA is especially renowned: “. . . To intervene effectively in a campaign of denigration, we must understand exactly how the child’s view of reality is being manipulated. Below is a summary of some of the most common strategies for distorting the child’s perceptions, beliefs, and memories of the target” (Warshak, 2001, pp. 202–203).
  • Manipulating names to disrupt children’s identification with the target 
  • Repeating false ideas until: they are assumed to be true and are embedded in memory 
  • Selectively directing the children’s attention to negative aspects of the target while ignoring positive aspects
  • Dropping the context of a target’s behavior
  • Exaggerating the target’s negative behavior
  • Telling lies about the target
  • Revising history to erase positive memories of the target
  • Claiming that the target has totally changed
  • Suggestions that convey in a covert manner negative messages about the target
  • Encouraging the children to exploit: the target
  • Projection of the brainwasher own thoughts, feelings, or behavior onto the target
  • Rationalizations that hide the perpetrator’s real motives and make the target look bad
  • Self-righteous tones intended to ward off careful scrutiny of the programmer’s reality distortions
  • Denunciations cloaked in religious dogma
  • Associating the label “the truth” with the programmer’s implanted scenarios
  • Overindulging the children with excessive privileges, material possessions, and low expectations for responsible behavior to buy their allegiance
  • Encroaching on the children’s time with the target and sabotaging their enjoyment of special activities
  • Instructing children to keep secrets from, spy on, and lie to the target
  • Conspiring with others to reinforce the programming
  • Programming the children to resist attempts to undo their indoctrination
Narcissistic children often become like their narcissistic alienating parent, but one should wisely keep in mind that “narcissistic traits may be particularly common in adolescents and do not necessarily indicate that the individual will go on to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder” ~ American Psychiatric Association, 1994, p. 660.
For some therapists, identifying a NPA is beyond their skill-set and may themselves join in the bad-mouthing of target parents whom they have never met. Some uninvited therapists become involved as the NPA’s activist and go so far as to write inflammatory and/or defamatory letters to courts containing fictitious claims, diatribes and false histories based upon the NPA’s fabrications and those of a disturbed child.
NPAs often do not perform background checks, and may even knowingly choose some individuals to represent them or the child, because of their naivety and easiness to be manipulated, or their reputation as a hired-gun.
NPA choices for legal and mental health representation, for example, may include individuals with previous warrants, or who willfully commit perjury in court, or who misrepresent their case histories on a website, or even live with a cross-dressing partner with gender issues while allowing their own children to remain in such an environment. It is imperative for target parents to complete a thorough check with the state licensing board, the courthouse or the bar association before agreeing to an attorney, therapist, or evaluator to represent their child which can often save thousands of dollars in the long run.
Regarding chronically alienated children, it is estimated that up to 40 percent develop an alignment with the alienator and have no problem over and over again to denigrate and outright reject the other parent and everything they say. These children tend to loose the spirit and soul that once nurtured a love for the NPA’s target as they refuse to bite the hand that feeds them by nurturing unwavering hatred. These children are psychologically abused by the alienator and inanely believe the target parent to be evil and horrible, when in fact; it is the NPA who qualifies for that status.
Research studies should be performed regarding NPAs, to assist unskilled therapists to identify the real abuser instead of inadvertently advocating NPA deception and blaming the target parent. Even an experienced or renowned therapist is quite capable of being bamboozled to breach ethical standards and professional objectivity by treating and performing a custody evaluation with the child simultaneously.
When narcissistic parents are too absorbed with their own preoccupations to spend time with their kids, they often raise narcissistic children, or at least children with profound narcissistic vulnerabilities, such as shame-sensitivity and the inability to manage intense negative feelings or to control their own aggressive impulses. 
Several years ago, a study of elementary-school-aged boys showed that those who were already identified as aggressive were less skillful than their more docile peers at accurately interpreting the behavior of others their age and were more likely to read intentional hostility into an ambiguous situation and respond with a preemptive strike. (Hotchkiss, 2003, p. 99)
Often, years pass with exploitative and repetitive brainwashing, denigration, and manipulation of the child against the target parent, and that, as the child matures into a teenager or adult, they become truly incapable of making sound and healthy choices, because irreversible damage has occurred. Few parents maintain the financial and psychological endurance against narcissistic abuse or have the skills to uncover the pettifoggery, before the child’s mind is completely altered and initiated into the alienator’s cult of parenthood. Experts and courts need to appreciate that time is of the essence.
Inexperienced therapists, evaluators, and often judges do not take into account when a child or teen has been subjected to years of poor behavior by an NPA prior to divorce or custody disputes and who have imposed such unbalanced and warped ideas on their offspring. When a teen claims to take their own stand on making mature adult choices, such a thought pattern needs to be addressed and corrected. Haven’t we all seen enough parental and juvenile dysfunction increase in the news over the last decades?
The rates of teen violence and peer crimes are on the rise because so many NPAs are never home to parent (often out on “business” dates, using drugs or alcohol) and they refuse to allow the target parent to assist. Often these types of NPAs will veil their paramour under the guise of being a friend or babysitter and then further deceive their former spouse and professionals by remarrying that individual with the hidden intention to cause further hurt to the target parent through the purchasing of the “synthetic replacement.” It is not uncommon for the NPA’s extended family to contribute to the alienating process by participating in concealing such facts.

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