Child custody and time-sharing; the relationship continues

Who is going to have custody of children when the couple separate or divorce? This decision has to be made along with, how the children will be taken care of and the visitation, the how of each parent spending time with the children. Relationships cause connectedness and there are orders to abide by. There are two types of custody orders.

There is Legal custody. The parent who has the custody will be important decision maker about the child’s health care, doctor, dentist, orthodontist, psychiatric, mental health counseling, therapy,education, religious activities or institutions, welfare, school, childcare, sports, summer camp, vacation, or extracurricular activities, travel, and place of residence.

There is also physical custody, ordering with whom the child will live. In joint custody the child can live with both. Under sole or primary custody the child will live with one parent much of the time and visits the other parent usually. There are cases of judges allowing parents joint legal custody and not joint physical custody, both parents share the responsibility in important decision making and the child lives with one parent and the other receives visitation right.

There is visitation plan to prevent and reduce confusion, anger and further conflict. Under supervised visitation, when the child's safety and well-being is at issue or if the child and the other parent would need gradual exposure, it is supervised by custodial parent, an adult, a professional agency or a mental health counselor. There is also a “no visitation” rule about that, even if with supervision, physical and/or emotional welfare of the child can be jeopardized. When visitation, custody or time share plan is drawn the above issues are clarified.

There are visitation guidelines, also known as time-share. Here a plan is set about how the both parents will share the time with the children. Either one (sole custody) or both parents (called shared custody) can have custody. Under normal circumstances, the judge consorts about arrangements with the parents and reaches a final decision about custody and visitation. If there is disagreement between the parents the judge will make that decision at a hearing. There is usually a mediator about custody and visitation. The family court services provide the mediator for the parents to reconcile.

Custody and visitation is decided considering the best interest of the child’s health, safety and wellbeing. Here history of abuse by either or both parents is considered.

Taking away a man's children is inhumane.

BELLEVILLE ~ A former police constable is hoping to raise awareness about parental alienation

– a form of abuse that can have devastating impacts on children.

Miranda Orr, a former police officer in Belleville, recently joined Parental Alienation Awareness Organization — a group that aims to educate the public and professionals about prevention of, and responses to, parental alienation, according to their website. 

The act refers to the alienation of one parent by the other — typically going through a separation or divorce — through manipulating the child or children involved in the family. The behaviours generally involve the mental manipulation and/or bullying of the child to pick between one parent or the other.

“This is happening in our community, children across the globe are experiencing this,” 

said Orr Monday.

“It’s actually a huge, growing phenomena. Children develop all kinds of self esteem issues, depression is a common one.” 

These behaviours can also result in destroying a loving and warm relationship they once shared with a parent. 

The organization, based in Toronto, works to create awareness in the courts, with judges, lawyers, police officers and children’s services.
As explained on the PAAO website, parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting deprive children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents and extended family. It can occur in intact families, but is mostly seen in separated and divorced families.
Orr joined the organization about a year ago. Through her lengthy career as a police officer she witnessed various forms of emotional abuse. 

She decided to get involved after realizing many people are not aware of parental alienation and do not know that it is a form of emotional abuse. 

To help increase awareness, she is working on organizing an event this April. 

April 25 is recognized as Parental Alienation Awareness Day. On this day, people are encouraged to take part in “Bubbles for Love” by blowing bubbles for 10 minutes at noon, to recognize parental alienation and the affected children. 

Locally, Orr, along with an organizing committee, is hosting an event on April 10 to make bubbles available to those interested in doing a Bubbles of Love day. 

“We will be doing a family fun barbeque, we’ll be have a petting zoo, bouncy castle. We’ll also be handing out cases of bubbles to companies, organizations, or schools that want to participate in Bubbles of Love.
The event will take place at West Zwick’s Centennial Park Lions pavilion from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. 

Orr has created a Facebook page, Bubbles of Love Day Quinte, where people can find information or contact organizers. 

More information about parental alienation can be found at: www.paawareness.org 

NEWS

By Emily Mountney-Lessard, The Intelligencer

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America's Fathering Crisis

On MLK Day, I find myself reflecting on my father-in-law’s story. I am also reminded that Dr. King’s famous “I have a dream” speech was about being a father. It was about envisioning the future he wanted for his children, and then working to make that dream a reality.

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character,” he said.

We can all learn something from Dr. King, Dr. Little, and Championship Fathers across the globe …

More important than a man’s circumstances—his race, his socioeconomic status, his custodial or marital situation—is the way in which he handles his circumstances and envisions the future.

English: Dr. Martin Luther King giving his "I Have a Dream" speech during the March on Washington in Washington, D.C., on 28 August 1963. Español: Dr. Martin Luther King dando su discurso "Yo tengo un sueño" durante la Marcha sobre Washington por el trabajo y la libertad en Washington, D.C., 28 de agosto de 1963. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you model self-control? Do you remain calm and rational, even when others are becoming bitter … perhaps even violent? Can you hold your head high because you know you are acting like the dignified man you want your children to see?

English: Attorney General Kennedy and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 22 June 1963, Washington, D.C. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)