We can all learn something from Dr. King, Dr. Little, and Championship Fathers across the globe …
More important than a man’s circumstances—his race, his socioeconomic status, his custodial or marital situation—is the way in which he handles his circumstances and envisions the future.
|English: Dr. Martin Luther King giving his "I Have a Dream" speech during the March on Washington in Washington, D.C., on 28 August 1963. Español: Dr. Martin Luther King dando su discurso "Yo tengo un sueño" durante la Marcha sobre Washington por el trabajo y la libertad en Washington, D.C., 28 de agosto de 1963. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|
Do you model self-control? Do you remain calm and rational, even when others are becoming bitter … perhaps even violent? Can you hold your head high because you know you are acting like the dignified man you want your children to see?
|English: Attorney General Kennedy and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 22 June 1963, Washington, D.C. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|
|Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X meet before a press conference. Both men had come to hear the Senate debate on the Civil Rights Act of 1964. This was the only time the two men ever met; their meeting lasted only one minute. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|
The Stages of Family Court Dysfunction (FCD)
1. Belief - As consumers of judicial services we enter the court system with the idea that this country has the best judicial system in the world. That the professionals who operate within this system do so with neutrality and fairness.
2. Self Doubt and Puzzlement - As the divorce/ custody process gains momentum and hints of flaws with the process start to show we think these issues are the result of things we are doing. "It must be me" that this is happening. We become puzzled by the direction of the divorce/ custody. We realize that things are not going in a direction which makes sense. There is often a flip flop of common sense and values. Black becomes White and White becomes Black.
3. Reason and Disillusionment - We begin to try reasoning with the players. The Guardian ad litem, lawyers and court. Presenting evidence and facts because if they only just read or viewed they would understand what is going on. Disillusionment creeps in when we realize that no matter how much evidence and facts presented - the system is unwilling to listen and understand what your concerns are.
4. Anger - As the reality of the situation starts to settle in we become upset that 'justice' does not exist. That those whom we have invested with our trust are untrustworthy. A system which is supposed to protect our children is more concerned with our behavior and whether or not a Guardian ad litem, Special Master or Parent Coordinator will get paid. Our anger can be aimed at anything - our ex, the children, the family pet even the court system.
5. Settlement - Sadly we may never find settlement as the process can continue far into the future. There are parents who settle and do so for far less than what they should and are grateful for what they have. Then there are others who carry on the fight long after their divorce/ custody is over to that future divorcing families will not have to go through what they have experienced.
The process one goes through is one of personal attitude change with exposure to more and more data. This data can come from many sources - from talking and sharing with others, the internet and those who have taken the issue publicly as well as personal experience. Some will try to fix this system with the hopes of repairing their own case; others do so as public spirited citizens, who hope to help others who are going through what they themselves have experienced. How one publicly markets both the human experience in need of fixing and the fixing itself is critical. It will require educating the public and politicians on what the issues are not only for your case but those of others. It took some time for you to understand that your case had problems. Imagine how others who have no experience with family court will respond? They will have a hard time understanding - some will get it. Many will not.
It is important to note that you are not alone and that others have experienced what you have gone through. There are many grassroots organizations that one can find offering support and help on a national as well as local level. It should be noted that out of 50 states there are very few instances of court officers who have been disciplined for malpractice.
If you have had issues with a court officer - Guardian ad litem, Special Master, Parental Coordinator or some other flavor of court appointed officer. We urge you to contact us at MeGALalert@gmail.com or find us on Facebook.The BestInterestofChildren.org
Conclusions of the First International Conference on Shared Parenting --- Fathers.com
The Second Dream
I have a dream
that one day on the hills of any state
the sons and daughters of present fathers
And the sons and daughters of absent fathers
will be able to sit down together at the table with the whole family
I have a dream that all black children
will one day livein a nation
where they will not be fatherless
by a man who did not give a damn
but fathered by a man who loves them
Fathers who sacrifice for their children understand the value of their presence in their child’s life. They understand that whether present or absent good or bad they will make a permanent impact on the children. And they choose to be a permanent positive impact.
The father must understand that he is more than a financial provider. The father helps to form his child’s identity. He helps the child in discovering his or her purpose in life. And has a starring role in supporting his children, mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually. He teaches; morally and spiritually guides, encourages, gives praise, hugs and kisses and says, “I love you just because you’re mine.”
A Call to Action
Let’s sacrifice for the dream that benefits our children. Let that dream be that each child in our communities has a father or father-figure who lovingly and actively engages in that child’s life. Let’s call on everyone from every sector of our community to make this dream a reality. It begins in our own homes with our own children. It ends in the homes of the children of the fatherless. It ends in the homes of the children who are fatherless. This is sacrificing for the Dream!
Let's celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today we honor his life's work to achieve equality for all.
Action Points for Dads on the Journey
- Talk with a sibling or another childhood friend about your father’s influence and his character.
- What historical or personal events have shaped who you are? Share those memories—and the way they changed you—with your children.
- Challenge your child to take on a new level of leadership in one of his or her pursuits. (And be there to coach him along if he does.)
- Dream with your kids. What will the world be like 50 years from now? What changes would benefit the most people?
National Center for Fathering, reveals startling statistics about the difference that a father in the home makes in a child's life.
Parents met in college in 1990 and dated for several years. Reunited in 2004. Daughter born 2006. Parents break-up in June 2008, normal boyfriend/girlfriend break up, and dad visits with daughter often until her birthday in October 2008. On daughter's birthday mom says to dad that since she (referring to herself) was only raised by her mother; saying these exact words to dad and in front of dad's son..."our daughter does not need a father".
CASE BEGINS WITH THIS 1ST HEARING
Honorable Judge Cohn did not address time sharing for father and daughter leaving father in indeterminate state and fearful of further false allegations from mother.
Natural Father's Lawyer, Beatrice Cera, files Petition for Paternity 12/4/08. Beatrice Cera, in an Emergency Hearing on 12/16/08, obtains Order for (1) Jurisdictional Restriction / Removal of Child from Miami-Dade County, FL. (2) DNA Test (paid by Father) from Honorable Judge Scott Bernstein.
12/18/08 7pm, Mother obtains Information Only Police Report at the Miami-Dade Police Town of Miami Lakes Station. Mother's Lawyer Colleen Huott, sends (via email) Father letter on 12/24/08 alleging a traffic/domestic violence incident on 12/17/08 at 5pm. Father contacts the Police 12/26/08 and discovers the (False) Police Report, asked Police why he wasn't contacted, asked Police why it wasn't "promptly investigated, informs the Police that the Police Report is false, and files a police report against the "alleged" false Police Report.
2/8/09 9am, Courtroom of Honorable Judge Maria Espinoza Dennis, Paternity Case Presiding Judge. Judge Orders Mom and Dad to Co-parenting, Orders Mom and Dad to Alienation Intervention, Orders Mom and Dad to Parenting Classes. Orders Dad to Psychological Evaluation.
2/18/09, Mother files for Injunction for Protection Against Domestic Violence...USING THE POLICE REPORT SHE OBTAINED ON 12/17/08 and Interferes (basically halts) Honorable Judge Dennis' Order as Family Court Services cannot coordinate Co-Parenting, Alienation Intervention, and Parenting Classes. However.the Father has complied with all of the Court's Orders in order to reach the goal of normal and reasonable Time sharing as PROMISED by the Honorable Judge Maria Espinoza Dennis on February 9, 2010 the second day of the Trial. Judge Dennis recused herself from this case on May 5, 2011.
Simple Paternity Case!!! Over 500 docket entries. My Daughter is innocent bystander that loves and wants to be with dad. Ask any one in the Lawson E. Thomas Courthouse that have seen us together.
The Case (pain) goes on.....
IT'S BEEN 6 Y E A R S ......................... #StandupforZoraya