Don't you lose hope, your daddy is here!

The poem below was sent by ACFC member and supporter Mike H. In it he captures the essence of lost Christmas' many men experience but ends in a way that exudes the attitude of a father determined to overcome the challenge of being separated from his children. Together, with the same attitude we will overcome this system that pits family member against family member.

Three Dark Christmases

The first and the darkest painful Yule Tide
Came after a year of chasing my bride

Her anger as cold as the winter snow
Was buried so deep, how could a man know?

With hope I had ventured across the land
Hoping in Heaven to still hold her hand
I was ignorant of her hateful plan

To steal from me children, loves of my life
Who would suspect that from his lovely wife?

We were celebrating Christmas that day
And because I was no longer away

My goal to make that Christmas so lovely
But that painful day I would have spared you

The pain you would feel when mommy would say... I hate you! Get out! While nearby you played

How shocking it was on that hateful morn
To learn that mommy viewed daddy with scorn

Stunned I was also, my child and my joy
To hear words of hate come out of your mom

Your mother, my lover, my friend and wife

Gave me no warning of this change in life

"Get out" I did, twas the last time I saw
You, or spoke to you for many weeks more

We met the next week on a frigid night
I can recall the thought, can I save this?

Perhaps I might remind her of fam-ly
Of children and of happier times when

Our love was stronger. I thought I'd prevail
I'm sorry my child, my love, but I failed

I asked her for reasons that fateful night
The answer she gave me was quite a slight

"You're not good enough for me" said my wife
The worst seven words I’ve heard in my life

Shocked, I went through the daily motions of

Routine, hoping I'd wake from this bad dream

Thinking the worst part was over for me
Soon did I learn that I was not quite right

When six weeks had passed since that Christmas night

Being apart from the loves of my life

The weeks turned to months that we were apart
And I almost did succumb to my heart

Until one day I finally “got it.”
I am a father, and fathers don't quit.

Back home to my fam-ly is where I went
Feeling a failure to my Heaven-sent

I went back to regroup, and back to heal
I went back to learn of strength unrevealed

Strength that was born of a weakness profound

Broken and humbled, 'twas self love I found

To learn that to love you, I first must love Me.
Because a daddy who hates himself
Cannot a good daddy be

I attacked with a passion flaws I had
Because nothing is better than being "Dad"

During these dark months, often I would say:
“Know I will always love you and be near
I will never give up, my child, don't fear”

Well, another dark Christmas came last year
I spent all I had to bring Yuletide Cheer

No way! Not a chance! Is what she did say
These children are mine! You just go away!

Just a short visit, I begged and I pled.
But she slammed the door and wished I were dead

I learned that tears can freeze, that Christmas day
A message from God to strengthen my heart
For His children need a daddy who's smart

Into the snow I went pondering this
Onto the motel I brought all your gifts
Thinking of ways for your spirits to lift

A visit we had, and love we did share
It wasn't on Christmas, and though not fair

Was happy to see you. I didn't care
How much you had grown! Your feet and your hair!

Telling you Daddy would always be there
And noticing that now you might not care

Stuffing this fear because I know what's right
A child needs a daddy on Christmas night
Well, Daddy is here, loves; this is not right

I gave you my love, hon, in that short time
That time they allowed, so short twas a crime
There's never been danger from me, my love

Never did I harm my purpose for life
No, we're both victims of a bitter wife

Sure, mistakes I have made during my life
But nothing that merits this bitter strife

Frozen tears I pondered on my way home
And the lessons you'll miss before you're grown

If this dad gave up on this fight of fights
I will not. I cannot. This just ain't right

So a team I did hire to help me win
This unfortunate battle that's a sin

And money they did charge, hand over fist
It was payment toward our big Christmas list

But when Christmas season was 'round the bend
I realized no money I had to spend

To pay for more promises unfulfilled
And support the local lawyers guild

So I parted ways with my lawyers then
And approached the third Christmas, now darkened

But have heart in this story my children
This is where good things will really begin

Know that your daddy has a plan for you
Because frankly, there's nothing I won't do

As I write this on Christmas the third so far
Please know my darlings that daddy's going to war

No more tears will I shed for the time that we've lost
No more lamenting the exorbitant cost

Of fighting to see you so little it hurts
No more will I let lawyers make things worse

No, they've woken a tiger whose efforts won't wain
They've taunted a father whose children are in pain
It's time that this daddy dealt some of the same

So don't you despair this Christmas my loves
Send those scary thoughts to God up above

He loves you like me, and knows what you need
Ask him to bless Daddy with strength and speed

Your heavenly father will never fail
I know cuz he's carried me through this tale

See he's my Father, too, and he loves me
A perfect example of fathering

He has a big plan, and it involves us
Being together for our next Christmas

Having this knowledge, this passion, this love
Has caused your daddy to take off the gloves

Within legal bounds I will focus my strikes
Just anger will focus my thoughts at night

Bad things come in threes, they always do say
So we're about due for a lovely day

So don't you lose hope, your daddy is here
There's no reason for sadness, or of fear

Your father, he loves you. He'll make this right
Let's see if these bastards know how to fight

Faces of the Family Law Crisis

Faces of the Family Court Crisis from James Hall Photography on Vimeo.

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WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE YOUR STORY WITH US?

If you are a child or adult survivor of the divorce courts and would like to share your story online or with the news media, please contact us at info@centerforjudicialexcellence.org. Any funders who are interested in supporting the expansion of this project are also encouraged to contact Kathleen Russell at this same email address. Thank you for your interest.

Together, we can fix it!

Because judges don't want a accurate reflection of what takes place in family hearings. Why believe your own eyes and ears when you can just listen to the "honorable judge"? Mandatory recording of ALL family hearings is an issue I am contacting our local legislators to sponsor as a bill to become law/ rule etc.(HINT, HINT, HINT) The majority if not all 20 circuit courts have the ability to record audio/video effortlessly but many judges if not all decline to. If recording family hearings is left to a judge's discretion it won't happen. FYI we don't need a little old lady pecking away at a machine to record hearings it is done digitally and cheaply in a lot of court rooms.

Enact Uniform Parenting Guidelines in Family Law

Repeal Inconsistent Rules and Presumptions - Ask the Family Court to adopt uniform rules requiring equal parenting time

OUR LEGISLATORS CAN PROTECT US FROM THE HORRORS OF FAMILY COURTS TO IMPOSE EQUALITY STANDARDS

Our Constitutional right to bear arms is front and center in state and federal legislatures.  But where is the debate on protecting our basic human rights to parent our children? (also constitutionally protected by the 14th amendment)  Every day in every state, mothers and fathers lose their basic human right to parent their children.

Why?  Because the divorce industry wants your family’s money!  Estimated at $170 Billion annually!  How? We all have a family member, friend or neighbor who has been through a nasty divorce.  Most of us believe children need both parents equally and that there exist a standard of 50/50 custody that the courts start from.

NOT TRUE!!!!  THERE IS NO PARENTING TIME STANDARD!!! THIS LACK OF STANDARD CREATES 90% OF ALL DIVORCE CONFLICT AND DIVORCE LITIGATION!!! IT DESTROYS FAMILIES AND LIVES!!!  STOP IT NOW!!!!!

In litigated divorce, there is no standard as to how children should spend their time between parents.  The lack of a parenting time standard causes our children to be viewed as a prize where unethical lawyers and custody evaluators use them as pawns between parents.  If there were a parenting time standard, it would resolve over half of divorce litigation taking place right now.

MAKE PRESUMPTIVE 50/50 THE REBUTTABLE STANDARD AND ELIMINATE CUSTODY EVALUATIONS

Start with the presumption that both parents are fit and entitled to an equal role in their children’s lives.  This presumption is rebuttable only by findings of fact based upon a preponderance of evidence in abuse, neglect or addiction.   Everything else unconstitutionally denies parents their rights to parent children.

ONLY OUR LEGISLATORS CAN PROTECT US FROM THE DESTRUCTION OF DIVORCE WITHOUT OBJECTIVE AND EQUAL STANDARDS

The divorce industry is $170B annually and motivated to oppose standards so they can create, promote and perpetuate conflict to increase billing hours exponentially.  Have you ever heard “It's only the lawyers who win in divorce”?

Add to lawyers: custody evaluators (duplicate roles in some states), criminal lawyers, courts, psychologists, therapists, investigators, GALs, an entire cottage industry of brokers! With overdue and demanded, simple and just changes to state statues, families and children can be forever protected from the ravages of the divorce industry by a simple and equal standard. The lack of a presumptive 50/50 rebuttable standard destroys lives and families, often forever.  Children as pawns can be scared for life, arbitrarily lose a parent, or two, for life and are in much greater peril in life.  Mothers and fathers lose their children and react badly.  Suicide and homicide is not uncommon.  Mothers and fathers can be jailed for protecting their children or going bankrupt.

Post by Childrens Rights Florida.

Posted by Childrens Rights Florida on Wednesday, July 22, 2015

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Family Matters with Wendy Archer

Wendy Archer, Parental Alienation Awareness and Education Advocate, has been involved in Parental Alienation Awareness and the related necessary Family Court Reform since September 2009.  Wendy founded The LRC Foundation Inc, a non-profit Texas Corporation.

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Family Matters visits with Dr. J. Michael Bone

Parental Alienation and Family Court Cases involving Parental Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) are perhaps the most vexing and difficult that exist in Family Court. These cases require careful and painstaking preparation, analysis of voluminous documentation, preparation of experts and collateral witnesses. They can be difficult to demonstrate in court and include arduous steps that exceed the normal representation of a Family Law case without parental alienation. These cases exploit and wear down the system and do so in the service of the alienation.

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Men Matter with Dr. Maguire & Melody Brooke

This project will only be funded if at least $120,000 is pledged by Friday Sep 9, 10:47pm EDT. Hollywood won't make this movie or tell this story. This is not a “politically correct” film, it goes against the current media position on the role of father’s in children’s lives and is NOT something that can be funded through traditional sources. This is an important message. The film needs to reach millions worldwide. To do that we have to do a better job than you typical special interest indie film. Mass appeal demands an entertaining, funny, and well acted film with great production values.

Children Lost in Divorce

The gift of parenting children is the single greatest blessing and experience an individual can enjoy in life. Therefore to me, parenting rights are not a “special rights” concern; they are a “human rights” concern.

So, I want to ask where you stand on an important political issue: Family Law Reform.As you may or may not be aware, our current system of Family Law has devolved into one in which a whole host of Family Court Industry players are profiteering from the minimization or elimination of parenting time and rights for non-custodial parents.

Many custodial parents, lawyers, parenting plan evaluators, supervised parenting services, States, friends of the Court social workers, many Courts, and others; are making money by using children as an excuse to exploit non-custodial parents, causing irreparable harm to both children and their parents in the process.

I, and a rapidly growing base of many others, would like this to stop. More specifically, we are asking for five primary reforms to Family Law:

The presumption of 50/50 custody and parenting rights during and after divorce. We are NOT asking for a REQUIREMENT of 50/50, because we still want parents to be able to decide for themselves what works best for them. However, in the event that case goes to trial, instead of having the NCP being forced to rise to a high standard to show why they should have time with their children, I believe it’s far healthier (for both parents and children) for the parent contesting this time to be required to rise to a high standard to show why the NCP should NOT have equal time with their children. And while this may dramatically hit the financial accounts of those who are using children for profit by creating or aggravating conditions of conflict, this reform will affect far healthier outcomes for families.

I would like reforms to child support calculations. More specifically, an elimination of financial incentives for minimizing or eliminating a non-custodial parent’s time with their little ones. As it sits now, there are basically two pieces to the child support calculation: (1) An actual physical needs worksheet, and (2) A tax-free income redistribution; with the Court establishing the higher of the two as the child support order. I recognize that custodial parents may need some time to adjust after divorce, and I have no problems with alimony/maintenance. However, I would like the alimony portion of child support to be eliminated. If a CP wants to better their lifestyle, they can put the work into bettering themselves just like NCP’S are often admonished to do. Children are NOT tax-free income producing assets, and NCP’s are NOT indentured servants.

Reforms to child support enforcement: If one wants to accomplish a goal, it helps establish good or helpful conditions to achieve that goal. Unfortunately, the Family Court has become accustomed to pathological and often draconian measures for enforcement in which the civil rights of NCP’s are systematically ignored or eliminated through administrative court procedures. If a person loses their job, or becomes ill or disabled, it makes no sense what so ever, to take away their driver’s license, vocational license, destroy their credit, throw them in jail, or force them into homelessness. How does this help to ensure the support gets caught-up? It doesn’t. It simply makes the problem worse and sets the non-custodial parent up for future, life-destroying failures. Truthfully, current regimes for enforcement that treat "deadbroke" parents as common criminals are completely inappropriate.

Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458 "Incentive Payments To States": I have no problem, in theory, with states being rewarded for child support enforcement. However, I have a big problem with States profiting from it, and a REALLY big problem with the lack of resources available to NCP’s for visitation enforcement. For little or no cost, a CP can have the state pursue civil or criminal remedies for delinquent child support. However, an NCP in reality, must hire an attorney if his or her visitation orders are being ignored, and often, these orders are not enforced with anywhere near the same severity by the Court as they are with child support orders. And I’m confident this is happening in large part, due to the financial interests of those parties noted in paragraph four. Therefore, if there is going to be Federal incentives for the enforcement of Family Court orders, I want equal weighting and importance put the enforcement of visitation orders. Honestly, the message that money is more important than a parent’s relationship and the emotional well-being of children is remarkably disgusting. I simply can’t tolerate that kind of worldview.

VAWA reform. I agree that victims of abuse and violence need the ability to feel safe in swiftly seeking the protection of the Justice system. However, fraudulent allegations of abuse made during Family Court are getting out of control. This is a gender-neutral problem, and it seems it now boils down to which party can launch this nuclear attack first. There are no remedies available to the victims of fraudulent allegations – none, and the damage these allegations cause to both children and parents is catastrophic.

The American Bar Association loves to fall back on VAWA as its reasoning for opposing any kind of Family Law reform. However, I can’t help but wonder how much money attorneys and investigators are making from a law that allows someone to be accused of such a serious crime and presumed guilty of it with no credible evidence what-so-ever. Something needs to be done about this, right now.

In short, much of the current political and judicial rationalizing for the current structure of Family Law centers on the concept of what’s “in the best interests of the children”. However, what is becoming increasingly clear is that children are simply being used as a seemingly noble excuse to mask a greedier underlying motive that is causing significant and irreparable harm to parents and children alike.

I understand you can expect to receive significant resistance to my ideas for reform because those parties noted earlier have a great deal to lose when they take place.

However, I’m not concerned about them. I’m concerned about the health and well-being children and parents, and your position on this matter will affect my voting behavior going forward.

Therefore, I will be grateful if you will tell me, in plain and simple words, where you stand on Family Law Reform.

Thank you so much for your time.

Sincerely,

Children's Rights

Published bychildrensrightsflorida@clubmember.org

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Dad is expected to be more involved.

NCFM Advisor Gordon Finley, Ph.D. blasts VAWA for causing the deaths of men | National Coalition For Men (NCFM)

FIU lab investigates the state of fatherhood »

Family roles have changed substantially since the 1950s. Mom now works outside the home. And dad is expected to be more involved in raising the kids. By Sissi Aguila.

We only support organizations who show an understanding that children need both parents, and that either parent is equally capable of the choice to perpetrate hate or declare peace.

What's New(s) in Florida Access to Justice - October 2015

Posted by Family Justice & Child Protection Worldwide Reform Committee on Thursday, October 22, 2015

Posted by Family Justice & Child Protection Worldwide Reform Committee on Thursday, October 22, 2015

Florida Bar members, judges, paralegals, law students and ANY Floridians seeking legal help, we have big, big, BIG news ...

"Florida Supreme Court Justice Labarga Set to Launch Florida's first Access to Civil Justice Commission on Monday"

The details:

The Commission will study the unmet civil legal needs of disadvantaged, low-income, and moderate-income Floridians. Its work will include a close look at improving existing legal programs, developing solutions based on new technology and exploring other ways to meet the needs of Floridians caught in the current civil legal services gap.

Florida Chief Justice Jorge Labarga will formally sign an administrative order creating the Florida Commission on Access to Civil Justice at a ceremony 10 a.m. Monday in the rotunda of the Florida Supreme Court Building in Tallahassee.

The Commission first was announced by Labarga when he took the oath of office as Chief Justice on June 30. It will be the major initiative of his two-year administration.

Monday’s ceremony will be broadcast live on the Court’s Gavel to Gavel Video Portal (http://wfsu.org/gavel2gavel), on the Florida Channel (http://thefloridachannel.org/), and via the WFSU Florida Transponder satellite downlink for video broadcasters (http://www.wfsu.org/television/services.php).

Visit the Florida Supreme Court's website for more details:  http://www.floridasupremecourt.org/

Posted by Childrens Rights Florida on Thursday, October 22, 2015

Posted by Childrens Rights Florida on Thursday, October 22, 2015

Wow!!!!!! They tried to stop him from doing this on TV… Just watch you will understand ...
Posted by Tyrese Gibson on Friday, March 7, 2014