Tuesday

A Mother Starts a Fundraising Campaign to Defeat Parental Alienation


The Story

I have not seen my son Connor for a year now. You’re probably thinking… “What the heck did she do?” She must be shitty mother. Not so fast... ignore the prejudgment and read on.

The last time that I saw my son was August 2014. We had an amazing summer! I took him to NY to Lego Land, to the zoo, to the beach, swimming, fishing, carnivals, and the county fair. We had nerf gun wars: I was so happy that his personality was really starting to show. He's a lot like me.

When I dropped him off at the end of our summer visit - we had our emotional “goodbyes” I had no idea what the struggle ahead of me would be. 

I have thought about this for countless hours, brainstormed, investigated myself and I just can’t find a reason for how this is morally right And if you’re wondering if I discovered anything while investigating myself; I didn't.

What I have realized... 

I am happy that he has a father and step mom who love him, but I love him too. I am happy that he married a person who does love and cares about Connor. She does help a lot and Connor loves her right back.

I am not happy when his step mom tells me “He is my son, I am the good mother, and that I need to talk to the real mothers in the world, because I am not a mother.” or texts stating "I am going to get MY son ready." Don't prevent me from seeing him then say "it takes more than giving birth to be a mother." Did everyone forget the past 7 years? Or are we only considering the past 2? 

I try to get along with step mom for Connor's sake. I have taken her out to dinner, I have been to dinner with my ex and her, I have been cordial, and even on mothers day I thanked her for her help with Connor. I swallowed my pride. No response.

BACKGROUND

In 2009 It was ordered that I would be primary residential parent for my son. 4 months later my sons father moved back to his home state.

For the next several years I raised Connor alone 90% of time. I was a single mother, making nothing, and taking care of a child by myself. I was barely getting by... and I was exhausted. 

Despite being angry I understood the importance of the father and son bond. A child needs both parents! We scheduled visits and sometimes Connor would visit for a month at a time.

In 2013 I was laid off from my position at a government contractor. His father decided that he would take him until I got back on my feet. I was happy he offered. 

Since I had physical custody and my son had visited before and always brought back: I thought it would be OK to let him go for a long visit. 

What a bad idea that was! Soon after that I was slapped in the face… all the way from Wisconsin. He didn't bring him back and he enrolled him in school.

Prior to having a child, I have always made the right decisions; I worked and paid my way through school, I earned a B.S, paid off student debt, and considerably worked my way into a career. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT TO DO, but with this situation I was out of my league.

This past June I took a long hard look in the mirror. I told myself to stop crying, stop letting people hurt you, stop talking about it; and DO something. I was ready to start the most important fight of my life. The fight for my child to know just how much his mother loves him. I started to save money, I write resumes for extra money, and I was able to obtain a lawyer. I have sheer determination and I doing everything that I can.

I have hired representation, but I have used all of my savings. This is a special case and will be expensive - here's why: UCCJEA

To simplify, it's a law to determine which state would rule over the case. The home state of the state or the state of original jurisdiction.

Obviously this is huge in my situation 

On a side note; I have my sons very best interests at heart. I believe that he has individual rights and as parents we have a responsibility. Our responsibility is to ensure that our children grow up in a loving environment, that we guide them into becoming wonderful people, and we lead by example. We protect them and their rights until they grow up and become better versions of us.

What I need: Funding for my fight.

Why I haven't Seen Him: Denied access.

Why I need donations: This is expensive, I want to see my son, I want him to know I love him.

What I will use donations for: Every penny will be spent on my son. Any amount left over will be donated to someone else who is in a similar situation as myself. Pay it forward.
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